Posts by AlmostAtheist

7

I just need a place to let out

by tsunami_rid3r in

jw
friends

as always i feel this community will feel me the most.

most often i feel i'm caught between so much stress, particularly trying to juggle work, class work, lab work, friendship, and love.

and in the midst of all of this, i get so distracted easily such as by being here.

AlmostAtheist

>> but I'm not seen as the type that shares my problems.

There are ways to remedy that. :-)

For what it's worth, it makes me happy to read that your stresses are coming from all the work you're putting into making a good life for yourself. Many of us stressed over "getting our hours" or "finding a mate" or some other cult-driven agenda at your age. I'm so glad to see you stressing over something that will actually lead to something GOOD!

Still though, sorry it's stressful. Hang in there, Man.

Dave

47

jwd confusion in relationship... help

by jocettejane in

i'm having a difficult time with my recently announced fiance.

he happens to be a jwd.

i am not, nore ever have been.

AlmostAtheist

Hey Jo,

Sounds like I had things all messed up. Thanks for the clarifications. To sum up, he's disfellowshipped, he doesn't believe in JW's, but he's constantly getting pressure from his folks to "return to Jehovah". Correct?

I'm not sure I get it. :-( If he doesn't believe it, why do you need to show him any errors? I'm not trying to be difficult, I just don't understand.

Family pressure I understand. Is he dependent on them for anything? Does he work for his dad, or share a business with him, or anything like that?

I think what we're seeing is this: You're very upset. You're nearly panicked over this. And it's making your descriptions sort of go every which way. And of course you're not a JW and never have been, so your terminology may not be spot on. Don't sweat any of that -- just calm down, slow down, and explain.

Perhaps approach it this way: What could change to make things better?

Dave

47

jwd confusion in relationship... help

by jocettejane in

i'm having a difficult time with my recently announced fiance.

he happens to be a jwd.

i am not, nore ever have been.

AlmostAtheist

When you cry out for help with a relationship, it's because something is bad. You describe the bad thing, and that's pretty much all the listener knows about. Given what they know, they say, "Run! Get out of that relationship!"

Perhaps it would help if you told us why you love this man? What is your relationship based on? I understand that love defies description, but can you personalize him and your relationship a bit?

I say all this because you wrote: Now he's reeming me over the phone on his work break because he's saying that I said some bad stuff about him in the post when all I wanted was help for our relationship.

And I had to wonder, "Would she react this way if HE went looking for help?" I assume not.

Then you said, "I love him and I don't wanna lose him.....but now he's putting this all on me." And again I had to ask, "Would she treat HIM this way?" Probably not.

So to avoid just hearing "leave him, leave him" from everyone, it might be useful to know why you're NOT leaving him. This isn't a jedi mind trick to get you to see he's not worth keeping -- I assume he IS worth keeping. This stems from a conversation I had with a friend who's always complaining about her boyfriend. Today she happened to mention something nice he did for her. I told her it was good to hear something positive about him, so she went on to relate more and more. Turns out I only ever hear the bad stuff, so I had a very unbalanced view of her relationship. Now I "get" why she stays with him.

If you don't want to share, don't. No pressure. I'm just asking.

Dave

14

Any ideas on how to reply to my old JW buddy?

by AlmostAtheist in

jw
friends

hey all, .

i happened upon an old email address for a friend i knew back in my jw days.

a very close friend, in fact.

AlmostAtheist

>> I got re-enstated 5 years ago, but I dont attend the hall anymore.

That puts the ball in his court. It lets him assuage his guilt of talking to a DF person, while putting him on notice that you do not attend. How he responds its up to him.

I really like this. It's honest, and it lets him decide how much he wants to know. Very, very nice. I think a rewrite is in order.

Thanks for this.

Dan -- yep, you nailed it, that's him. I'll try my best not to get re-cult-ivated! But when a true warrior for Christ wields his sword, who can stand? ;-)

Dave

47

jwd confusion in relationship... help

by jocettejane in

i'm having a difficult time with my recently announced fiance.

he happens to be a jwd.

i am not, nore ever have been.

AlmostAtheist

Are these basic facts correct?

-Your boyfriend was raised a JW, but was never baptized.

-He "knows it's the true religion" but isn't living up to its standards, and it's killing him.

-He's getting pressure from his parents to "serve Jehovah properly".

-You're considering becoming a JW too, to help him become one, so you can both be happy.

Do I have it? I'm going to assume I do, just correct me if not.

Becoming a JW isn't like becoming a Catholic, where you can just attend some classes and go to the right church once in a awhile and you're in. Being a JW is a whole life change. It's more like becoming a citizen of a country than joining a religion. There are laws, traditions, expectations, all different than what you're used to.

For instance, they have a law that says you are not allowed to speak to a person that used to be one of Jehovah's Witnesses, but isn't any more. If such a person walks up to you and says, "Hi! How are you?" you are required to ignore that person. Saying "Hi" back is "against the law" and you would be subject to a judicial committee hearing with three elders of the church for doing so.

>> I will start making my own friends again once the next semester starts.

That's another expectation this religion will have -- you will need to give up any non-JW friends.

>> This goes against everything I've ever believed, but if my man is going to continue like this, I feel I need to help him remedy. Should change for him?

His suffering is coming from trying to live a life contrary to the teachings of Jehovah's Witnesses, while still believing those teachings are correct. You would help him much more by helping him to see those errors, than by becoming a JW yourself. But you can't just show him a bunch of cold facts that refute their teachings -- it just doesn't work that way. If you're interested in helping him in this way, look around this forum for information on helping a JW husband or wife break free. You could start here: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/32/77159/1.ashx

Dave

14

Any ideas on how to reply to my old JW buddy?

by AlmostAtheist in

jw
friends

hey all, .

i happened upon an old email address for a friend i knew back in my jw days.

a very close friend, in fact.

AlmostAtheist

You're right of course -- gotta be honest. It isn't lying to the bOrg, it's lying to my friend. And I'm not gonna.

I'm thinking of this. Anybody think this is a bad way to go? I'll send it off probably sometime tonight unless there are objections.

Too pushy? Too wishy-washy? Too when-your-little-cult-gets-its-head-out-of-its-*ss-and-lets-you-talk-to-me-I'm-here?

=============================
>> When did you get reinstated?

You knew I was DF'd maybe 6-7 years ago. Well, I was reinstated 5-6 years ago.

What you probably don't know is that almost 4 years ago I started some personal research and came to realize that I just really didn't believe some aspects of the Bible anymore. And as it happens, the parts I found I couldn't believe sort of dovetailed into other parts, and the whole thing just came apart for me. It wouldn't be accurate to say I lost my faith, it's more like I discarded it.

So while I was reinstated back then, I am not one of Jehovah's Witnesses any longer. I'm not anything else, either -- I'm an equal-opportunity non-believer! ;-)

>> Send me your number so I can call.

Yeah.. well, about that... ;-) I can understand the position this puts you in. I had hoped you might not be a JW anymore. But since you are, I understand there are rules about who you can and can't talk to. If you need to keep me out of your circle, I will accept that gracefully. And if the rules are ever changed so that you CAN talk to me, you would always be welcome to get back in touch.

Know this -- your faith is your own and I have no interest or intent to dissuade you from it. If you ask, I'll answer. But I'm not here for anything more than to just reach out and touch an old friend. (That I ran across pictures of you and your wife the other day just sort of sealed the deal!)

So I leave it with you. If you choose to chat, I'm all about it. But if you choose not to, I will understand.
=========================

49

The Design of Life

by Deputy Dog in

from: http://www.thedesignoflife.net.

the cover of the design of life features an artists portrayal of human brain circuitry as it might appear if magnified many thousands of times.

the portrayal illustrates an intriguing discussion of the human brain in chapter one, quoted here in part: during the first eighteen months from conception, the brains neurons are formed, deployed, and connected in a tsunami of activity, at the rate of 250,000 per minute, until 100 billion neurons are arrayed in a powerful, organized matrix.

AlmostAtheist

>> Each neuron may have tens of thousands of finger-like appendages, or dendrites, which connect with other neurons and dendrites in a bafflingly complex circuitry.

I read this information before, but it was only recently. I wish discussions of the brain would make that point more clearly. Growing up and reading about brain neurons and "dendrites", I got the impression that there were several dendrites per cell -- you know, like 20, or maybe even 100. All the pictures are portrayed that way.

Then to find out there are THOUSANDS of connections from each cell to other cells... wow.

Needless to say, I don't buy the complex=intelligently-designed argument, but the brain IS most certainly complex. Thanks for bringing this up!

Dave

14

Any ideas on how to reply to my old JW buddy?

by AlmostAtheist in

jw
friends

hey all, .

i happened upon an old email address for a friend i knew back in my jw days.

a very close friend, in fact.

AlmostAtheist

Hey All,

I happened upon an old email address for a friend I knew back in my JW days. A very close friend, in fact. He moved away and we largely lost touch, but we never had a falling out of any sort. Being in a nostalgic frame of mind, I sent him a little "You still out there?" sort of note.

Today I got a reply. He also didn't say a whole lot, though there's a definite air of "good to hear from you". In amongst it all was this question:

"When did you get reinstated?"

Yeah... about that.... :-)

Not sure what to say here. The fact is that I DID get reinstated (he's thinking about a previous DF'ing), so I could potentially go over the details of that time. Or I could lay it on the line and let him know that I am currently out with no intentions of coming back.

I of course had hoped that HE was out of the JW's by now and we could have a good laugh over it all. Such is, sadly, not the case...

Any thoughts on a specific reply? Or a general tack to run with?

I'm currently leaning toward ignoring the question altogether and just chatting about this and that. But if he's half the JW he once was, that will set off his spidey-senses like mad.

Hmmmmm.....

Dave

10

Fairytale Charles Taze Russel & the mircale wheat....

by Jack_Jehovah in

how can you weak insecure jw people, follow the corruptive scriptures & hoax theories from a devious occult icon like charles taze russel, a shrewd businessman who appeared eager to collect funds from the selling of the "millennial dawn" books, cheated one of them out of financial gains, and issued thousands of millennial dawn books under a female pseudonym.. a rogue profiter of 'miracle wheat', deceived & defrauded many by selling this supposedly advanced strain of wheat for $60 a bushel, far above the average cost of wheat for the day.

throughout 1912 and 1913 the eagle continued to report on this alleged fraud on russell's part.

russell sued the eagle for libel, but lost.

AlmostAtheist

The video was kinda cool. Nothing new, but presented in a fun, let's-watch-a-film-strip sort of format. If I'm not mistaken, it closes with a closeup of Ray Franz, standing along with other governing body members.

Some of the video was staged and some appeared to be period, so I wasn't able to tell the difference, which was unfortunate. A small "file footage" note or something like that would have been helpful, when real period footage was being shown.

So yeah, we're the wrong audience for it, but it was worth watching.

Dave

18

so..

by Vivamus in

my psychiatrist told me therapy was not going to cure my headaches (yah).

my home-doctor (i don't know if thats the system you have too, but here we have one general doctor who gives his patient referrals to see specialists), does not believe any referral to any medical specialist will help me.

that's cuz i have tried so much already, and any referral will give me hope that there might be a cure - which in his opninion is not possible.

AlmostAtheist

Do you belong to a migraine-sufferer's forum? If not, it might help to at least connect with other people going through the same thing. Here's one that looks quite active: http://www.migrainepage.com/cgi-bin/dcforum/dcboard.cgi

Also, if your doctor is essentially giving up, perhaps it's time to try a different doctor? I have a primary doc that will refer me to specialists if need be. But if I am dissatisified with her, I can pick a different primary doc. I have to pick from a list, but it's a long list. If you have a similar option, you might as well try it.

Hope all the best for you!

Dave