Posts by Bendrr

6

My War Story

by Bendrr in

jw
friends

just thought i'd share this with you.. back when i was in the gulf war, i saw some action.. we were on a chopper that encountered heavy fire, killing the crew and troops everyone but me.

i made it out as the chopper went down, grabbing an m-60 light machine gun, a field radio, and (what a suprise!

) a case of beer.. i radioed for extraction, and got to work on the beer while i waited.. wouldn't you know it, the dang iraqi showed up a hundred strong!.

Just thought I'd share this with you.
Back when I was in the Gulf War, I saw some action.
We were on a chopper that encountered heavy fire, killing the crew and troops everyone but me. I made it out as the chopper went down, grabbing an M-60 light machine gun, a field radio, and (what a suprise!) a case of beer.
I radioed for extraction, and got to work on the beer while I waited.
Wouldn't you know it, the dang Iraqi showed up a hundred strong!
So I grabbed up the M-60 and engaged the enemy, killing 70 of them before the belt ran out. All I had left was my knife, so I went hand-to-hand on the rest. Twenty fell to my knife and the last ten to my bare hands.

Moral of the story?

Don't f**k with me when I've been drinking!!!

Mike!

33

Top 10 ways to get rid of Dubs at the door

by absolutelynoone in

jw
friends

10. when they ask, "can i talk to you about god?

" reply, "sure, what would you like to know?

9. answer the door with a bloody knife and say, "i'm sorry, could you come back in a half hour?

Bendrr

Hey some fresh ideas! Thanks for not including "answering the door naked", that one's getting a little stale.

I'll add a little to that list. A couple are just humorous, others will really "f" up their presentation.

11. Have a t-shirt handy to throw on before you open the door. With something really offensive on it like a white supremacist message or something about NAMBLA.

12. Answer the door nervously wearing prison inmate clothes.

13. Dab some white powder around your nose and act all hyper when you answer the door.

14. Interrupt the dubs constantly, but interrupt to agree with them and with things relevant to the "conversation". We all know someone who does that and it drives me nuts. It will totally derail a dub's presentation.

15. Nod and say "uh-huh, uh-huh" the whole time they are talking.

16. Maintain 100% eye contact with the speaker the WHOLE time they are at the door. Alternately, to really unnerve them, maintain 100% eye contact with the speaker's companion.
(or)
17. Avoid eye contact totally. Don't look at either dub's face, body, hands, literature, anything. Instead, look just past them like you're making eye contact with someone right behind them and maintain that stare.

18. Every few seconds, look away from them towards some spot on the ground next to the doorstep or above them at the top of the porch or whatever. (When I used to go in service with my mom, who is deathly afraid of spiders, I used to do that to her while we were waiting for the person to answer the door. All I had to do was look up and start to point and she'd jump behind me. Sometimes I could get her twice before the door opened.)

When I used to go in service, it was always the little things that were the most distracting and would throw off my whole spiel. The really outrageous stuff is funny, but just gives the car group something to talk about the rest of the day. If you're more subtle, you get the last laugh.

Mike.

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23

If You Can't Face A Witness Funeral Again..

by Englishman in

jw
friends

i posted recently about how i attended a humanist funeral for my pal knocker john.

no prayers, no hymns, just a natural goodbye that, in itself, contained a healing element that somewhat counteracted our feelings of grief.. then i think back to the funeral of my dad in the 80s.

it was, quite simply, nothing more than a commercial for the witness religion.

Bendrr

Hi Englishman.
I have to agree with those who suggest having *two* services, one for your mom and another for the dubs. That's actually a good way to look at it, since a Witness funeral is merely a sermon with a dead body at the front of the room.

When my Granny Eleanor passed away in '96 she had a dub funeral, though at a funeral home since there was not a nearby KH. For the last few years before she died, she lived with my step-dad's non-JW brother-in-law and his family and I did get to spend some time with her.
I heard about her death a mere 2 hours before the funeral. I think my folks did that on purpose, figuring I wouldn't show up. I did. The self-righteous, backstabbing P.O. of Granny Eleanor's former congregation gave the sermon. He also cornered me in the parking lot before the service with this smart-ass comment that he didn't want me to feel uncomfortable because this was a Jehovah's Witness funeral. (can't believe I actually held my temper AND mouth in check that time!)
The whole [non-dub] family left the service totally pissed at the choice of speaker, the sermon, and the conduct of the dubs present. Yeah, real good witness you gave there, BROTHER Kelly!

Moral of the story is that a dub funeral won't do anything but make non-dub family feel even worse. I say you should definitely have a non-jw, even non-religious, service for the non-jw family members!

Mike.

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27

Shaking Hands with Death - part 1

by Amazing in

jw
friends

shaking hands with death: the one common bond we all share, even jehovahs witnesses, is death ... it lurks in the back of the head ... and most people dont think about it more than they are forced to when a loved one dies.

on monday, 5/28 i was forced against my will to meet mr. death, and have my first chat with him.. i would have expected to have profound and serious thoughts combined with the wise and sage advice of standing at the threshold of deaths door.

what i found was something most unexpected ... something that altered my views of life and death, yet once again.. the heart attack: it was a pleasant noontime.

Bendrr

Jim, I'm happy to see you return to the board so soon.
I'm also very happy to have been able to speak to you on the phone the other night. Even though we only spoke for a few minutes it was very special to me to be able to speak to you in person.
I make it a point to read all of your posts and I expect to see plenty more for a long time to come. But don't be in a hurry to get back. Here, work, whatever else. Get your rest and get that heart back in good working order. Replacements are hard to come by!
Mike.

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7

WT officially admits their system is NOT PERFECT

by Insider in

jw
friends

follow the link to wt official admission.. second to last paragraph contains the admission.. .

http://www.jw-media.org/releases/default.htm?content=bg_molestation.htm

Bendrr

(quote from the JWmedia site):
>Suppose, for example, that a long time ago a 16-year-old boy had >sexual relations with a consenting 15-year-old girl. Depending upon >the U.S. jurisdiction where he lived when this happened, elders may >have been required to report this as an incident of child abuse. >Let us say that 20 years have passed. The child abuse reporting law >may have changed; the man may have even married the girl! Both have >been living exemplary lives and they are respected. In such a rare >case, the man could possibly be appointed to a responsible position >within the congregation.

What absolute bullsh*t! Two teenagers a year apart in age is NOWHERE CLOSE TO THE ISSUE!!!!!! If you're going to use an example, try to stay closer to home. In this case that would be if the male was 36 and the girl was 15, or 5, or 12, you get my point?
Hey WTS, I was born at night but it sure as hell wasn't last night!

Mike.

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8

New JW website for singles

by drahcir yarrum in

jw
friends

i noticed that there is a new jw website for singles under construction.

i think it would be good if some of us put together our own personals for the launch of this new site.. here's mine:.

i'm a married 53 year old former ministerial servant looking for a single sister for travel companion.

Bendrr

Good idea, I'm in!
BTW, could you post the URL?

Let's be sure to post pics with our ads. Oh what fun! Especially when they see my hair halfway down my back!

Mike.

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5

Aftermath

by Bendrr in

i guess everyone's speculating on the reaction of the wts to last night's dateline.

seen a few reactions posted here so far, but nothing to indicate what the gb is going to do about it.. i think the average r&f dubs are going to have a far more adverse reaction than many think.

while the face put on to the public and to people like us may say "apostate attack", the private personal reaction we don't see is the one to consider.. how can this not cast doubt in all but the most hardcore dub?.

Bendrr

Hi Frank!
Sorry to hear about C.B.......NOT!

I may just have to head up your way sometime.

Mike.

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5

Aftermath

by Bendrr in

i guess everyone's speculating on the reaction of the wts to last night's dateline.

seen a few reactions posted here so far, but nothing to indicate what the gb is going to do about it.. i think the average r&f dubs are going to have a far more adverse reaction than many think.

while the face put on to the public and to people like us may say "apostate attack", the private personal reaction we don't see is the one to consider.. how can this not cast doubt in all but the most hardcore dub?.

Bendrr

I guess everyone's speculating on the reaction of the WTS to last night's Dateline. Seen a few reactions posted here so far, but nothing to indicate what the GB is going to do about it.
I think the average r&f dubs are going to have a far more adverse reaction than many think. While the face put on to the public and to people like us may say "apostate attack", the private personal reaction we don't see is the one to consider.
How can this not cast doubt in all but the most hardcore dub?
Just how many JW's could this program reach?
Let's consider the statistics that we have been presented with of the possible number of pedophiles in the ranks of dubs. Even if we reduced that number to say 75%, that leaves thousands of victims, plus victims' family members who know about the abuse, plus congregation elders who know of the Dateline cases and other cases, and likely other JW's who know of cases. That's one hell of a lot of "Witnesses".
The most important thing is that now they know they are not alone, that the abuse is not unique to their own congregation. Needless to say, they definitely know!
The backlash is going to be pretty harsh.
What is Brooklyn's response going to be?
I'm expecting something along the lines of the Ray Franz incident. They're going to spin it to the r&f as an apostasy. Those who do speak out, victims and concerned non-victims alike, will be met with an "inquisition". Doubtless, there will be a high number of disfellowshippings for "apostasy". Oops, excuse me, "causing divisions". Also, expect some pretty hard-line Watchtower study articles about apostasy. Maybe a special talk very soon at a Sunday meeting and no doubt some pretty hard-line talks at this summer's district conventions.
I would also expect that now the Society will begin to take an even more direct stance against internet use, probably adding it to the ever-popular list of "unofficial but just as damning" don'ts with even more df'ings over internet use to follow.
Another hardliner crackdown has been long overdue. Hours are down and so is growth. There's going to be some interesting meetings at the local KH's in the near future for sure!

Mike.

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5

Quote from Dateline, pretty interesting

by Bendrr in

john larson must have done some research on the jw's obviously.. in the intro part of the dateline segment, i noticed he was pretty blunt.. he said:.

"anyone from outside the church, most of you watching tonight, are considered part of satan's world which will be destroyed by jehovah god".. notice that he said "jehovah god", commonly used by dubs but not normally by anyone else.. also he included all the "hot button" rules sure to catch the attention of "worldly people": birthdays, christmas, blood transfusions, and military service.. nice work, john!

i move to bestow the title of "un-disfellowshipped apostate" upon john larson.. mike.. ...

Bendrr

John Larson must have done some research on the JW's obviously.
In the intro part of the Dateline segment, I noticed he was pretty blunt.
He said:
"anyone from outside the church, most of you watching tonight, are considered part of Satan's world which will be destroyed by Jehovah God".
Notice that he said "Jehovah God", commonly used by dubs but not normally by anyone else.
Also he included all the "hot button" rules sure to catch the attention of "worldly people": birthdays, christmas, blood transfusions, and military service.
Nice work, John! I move to bestow the title of "un-disfellowshipped apostate" upon John Larson.

Mike.

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5

jw wife stays home

by BERNARD in

jw
friends

my jw wife came home from work with.

a story she staying because she ate some chips and.

feeling a little sick.. i asked her if she was watching dateline.

Bendrr

be sure to let us know her reaction, bernard!

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