Bendrr

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Posts by Bendrr

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  4

  "Old" School reports - funny

  by johnathanseagull in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  he he he.........when i get a tad blue, i tend to look up my old school reports and see how far i've advanced since those god ole school days and have a good laugh........... below are my yearly reports in "divinity" which for those who dont know is an old term for religious education, these are actual quotes from my report book.

  age 11.

  "simon is working reasonably well but he frequently forgets to hand his book in".

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  Bendrr

  Care to share the age of those reports? Not prying of course, if you don't want to just tell me it's none of my business and I'll understand.

  That reminds me of this elderly sister in my old cong. Sister Norma Skwarlo. She and her husband lived in a trailer behind the KH. She broke her hip once and while she was recuperating, I'd go visit her before the meetings. A few times she brought out her old report cards from school. These were from before the Great Depression, even from before World War 1. Her grades were pretty bad let me tell you. She'd just laugh about it and tell me that didn't mean I could get bad grades.

  Mike.
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  31

  How many times in front of a committee??

  by refiners fire in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  geesh.

  lets see.

  when i got baptized the first time.

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  Bendrr

  Only twice before a formal judicial committee, once for smoking, once for....I don't like to talk about the df'ing offense.

  Now as to how many times I was called into the back room for browbeating counseling, or to respond to slander and innuendo accusations, or just because the elders needed an emotional punching bag to let off some steam misunderstood something....I lost count by the time I was 17. Finally after a few years they seemed to lose interest when I stopped "standing out" as a zealous young brother who was aux. pio.'ing every month and reaching out for MS and just became a nice young publisher.

  Mike.
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  40

  What's sex?

  by JH in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  imagine when the earthly resurrection will begin, and maybe 20 billion people who lived in the past will have a second chance to live eternally, but this time without sex (luke 20:35).

  having to live an eternal life without having the passion of love, and no sex whatsoever.

  how would you cope with this?

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  Bendrr

  Oh thanks a lot Troucul! First I can expect no trim for eternity, now I find out I might end up honking bobos and taking it in the five-hole too? That sucks!

  Mike.
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  12

  This Sent By JW

  by deceit in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  from: new heavens .

  to: earthly chieftain class .

  date: year 2, after armageddon .

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  Bendrr

  Addendum: Mullets are not allowed either. Especially not the curly kind with the peroxided buff front bit!

  Lay off the mullet, dude!

  Mike.
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  14

  God, Those Crazy Brits Are At It Again

  by Francois in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  everyone round here is living in fear... ill never trust squirrels again.. knutsford, england, resident blanche kellye, on a squirrel that has attacked several city residents.

  the above quote is from this week's newsweek.

  how come they don't just make a nice rice pilauf from that squirrel?.

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  Bendrr

  Don't you dare shoot some cute little squirrel Crazy!
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  46

  Where Have All The Pretty Women Gone?

  by Englishman in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  to explain: i recall in the 60's and 70's driving down portsmouths commercial road during a lunch time.

  in the summer, there would be dozens of pretty girls strolling along, enjoying their lunch breaks.. high-heeled, well groomed and shapely of leg and well turned ankle, these delightful creatures smelled as good as they looked and were a real tonic to an over worked young man such as me.. so where are all the pretty women now?

  all i see these days are skinny women with their boobies pushed up to their chins and half a pound of shrapnel punched through their noses and ears.

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  Bendrr

  I've asked the same question myself. I think it has something to do with the ever-growing population of trailer parks.

  Mike.
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  23

  My turn for fluff

  by shera in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  .

  whats your favorite t.v show(s).

  heheh mine is buffy the vampire slayer and angel..lol yep i'm 32. in contrast i like touched by an angel as well.oh...aaaand i like watching the learning channel anything on science

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  Bendrr

  Used to be The X-Files. Now I like Law & Order, anything on the Discovery, History or Learning Channel, that Fox show John Doe is pretty cool, Mystery Science Theatre 3000 (tape it because I work Saturdays, that show cracks me up), and The Sopranos.

  Mike.
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  13

  Playing Chicken!

  by LuckyLucy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

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  the us is gearing up to give all of us a chicken pox vaccination.. i refuse to get one!!

  who knows what they will really be injecting us with.

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  Bendrr

  Instead of trying to prevent the spread of chicken pox or small pox by vaccinating the general population (the horrible mean men that they are) they're really trying to inject mind control drugs into us so that we'll give big corporations all of our money while letting the government stomp all over our rights.

  They don't need mind control drugs for that, it's already happening Jesus. Where have you been? Oops forgot, you've been away for a while.

  Mike
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  14

  God, Those Crazy Brits Are At It Again

  by Francois in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  everyone round here is living in fear... ill never trust squirrels again.. knutsford, england, resident blanche kellye, on a squirrel that has attacked several city residents.

  the above quote is from this week's newsweek.

  how come they don't just make a nice rice pilauf from that squirrel?.

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  Bendrr

  Francois lay off the Brits. At least they're not French!

  Mike.
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  12

  This Sent By JW

  by deceit in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  from: new heavens .

  to: earthly chieftain class .

  date: year 2, after armageddon .

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  Bendrr

  2. Now that you're here, you're anxious to build yourself a new home,
  and that's commendable. However, there are some guidelines we all must
  adhere to for the benefit of all, and this particularly applies to
  those of you who formerly lived in certain parts of the United States. NO
  TRAILERS. Does everyone understand that? Houses can be made of wood or
  stone, but no mobile homes. After all, trailer parks were one of the
  reasons why God wiped out the old system.

  Well at least they got one thing right.

  Mike.

  p.s. No, I don't live in a trailer (excuse me. manufactured home) nor do I own a Camaro

  Edited by - bendrr on 13 November 2002 19:51:17