Hallo again Exodus
A lot of feeling is going though your mind and to get hold on them is a hard job. You’re under a great deal of stress. Don’t hurry take your time. You are not in a bad situation. Don’t play the BORG game. Just ignores those uncaring elder. In fact they are just human being acting after instruction from the system. Just like some German soldier did under the 2. World war. But remember they were forced to meet justice later on and were punished.
Take you time and think about the future and don’t forget your family. You have to bring all together – not only you self. Show them that you still care and love them no matter what.
As I post to you before - if you still believe in God - read Roman 8: 35-39.
I hope you manage the situation and wish you the very best for you and your family. Keep smiling.
Beroea