Posts by bagpuss

26

Are you still "hurt" from your JW experience?

by JH in

jw
friends

.

i was just wondering if you still feel hurt or some kind of interior pain from your jw days or is it all passed and you have no more feelings towards this organization.... i still feel "hurt" and let down... .

afterall, they were friends, and now they just don't care anymore.

bagpuss

Only one thing still hurts me about my experience.

For 8 years I gave an elderly sister lifts to all the meetings,hospital appts,doctors appts etc. I thought we were friends. At the time I stopped going to meetings I was suffering badly with depression. It wasn't a conscious decision to stop, it was health related. Not once did that sister contact me to see if I was o.k or if I needed help.After a year and a half it still hurts and makes my husband very angry,after all it was his car,diesel etc that she was taking advantage of.

The fact that no one bothered to contact me doesn't surprise me anymore,I'd always realised the lack of love in my cong was a real problem,but that one sisters failiure to contact me even once really hurts.

27

Do you hate dressing up?

by Nosferatu in

jw
friends

i can't stand wearing suits for anything.

i wore them so much while i was a jw that i prefer to never wear another one as long as i live.

hell, i wore jeans at my wedding!.

bagpuss

Since leaving I've practically lived in trousers or jeans. I do wear skirts now and then but I'm sure i should be counselled about the length!

47

Forbidden Pleasures

by mtbatoon in

jw
friends

.

after leaving, what (excluding the obvious bit of slap and tickle) is your favourite forbidden pleasure.

for me black pudding, full of bloody goodness

bagpuss

Associating with ' worldly ' people. I love ' em. They know how to have a good time!

27

I'm getting mad....

by toladest in

i have been dfed/daed for nearly 7 years now.

long story.

anyway my mom has shunned me ever since.

bagpuss

Your post made me feel so sad.

Last April I became a Grandma for the first time. I was totally amazed by the love I felt for this little baby, and that has only grown over the months. I can honestly say that I would kill to protect that child and nothing would stop me having contact with him.

As a JW I never really gave a lot of thought to shunning as it never really affected me that closely. Looking at your situation I am appalled that I could ever have considered such action justified. I feel that I need to apologize to you for ever going along with it, however passively.

I am also glad that I am now no part of an organization that encourages what can only be labelled a form of child abuse.

35

having a hard time making friends

by happy camper in

jw
friends

i was wondering if anyone else has had a hard time making friends since leaving the organization.

being raised as a jw, it seems difficult to me, as i was never allowed to have any friends who weren't other jw's.

as a result, i have isolated myself to only my immediate family.

bagpuss

I think that I was quite lucky as my husband was never a JW so I always had ' worldly ' friends even as an active witness. Having said that I did find it difficult for a while to make new friends as the idea still lurked in the back of my mind that it was wrong. It can be hard to start viewing people as worthwhile human beings and not just worldly people and once you have made that jump it becomes much easier to find and also be a good friend.

What I found a great help was never to label anyone. Trust your own instincts and take people at face value. There are some great people out there. I read something recently that said "there are no strangers here,only friends you haven't met yet"

Get out there and introduce yourself - it's worth it!

52

OMG!! TURN ON YOUR TV NOW!! Michael Jackson being chased by POLICE!!!!!

by SixofNine in

jw
friends

.

made ya look.

bagpuss

I thought it was another O.J Simpson. Really fell for it. Nice one.

22

How do you feel about.....

by bagpuss in

jw
friends

going back to a kingdom hall?.

recently i've had a couple of visits from jws while i was at work.

each time they left a message that the co was going to be visiting this week and that it would be good if i went to the meeting.. i was really surprised at the strong reaction i had to the thought of going to a meeting again.

bagpuss

going back to a kingdom hall?

Recently I've had a couple of visits from JWs while I was at work. Each time they left a message that the CO was going to be visiting this week and that it would be good if I went to the meeting.

I was really surprised at the strong reaction I had to the thought of going to a meeting again. The thought really makes me feel physically sick. I haven't been in a kingdom hall for 18 months and when I think about going I still feel a hint of the depression I felt during meetings and if I persue the thought I actually start to feel quite panicky.

How do you feel about going back,even if only for one meeting?

12

Does you feel guilty for those you brought into the org?

by ddean3673 in

jw
friends

don't really know how i feel about that one.

my brother is in the truth because of what i "taught" him as well as my "example" according to others and him (he doesn't know my official stand yet).

an earlier post opened my eyes a little...i know now i didn't do it alone, and that i was trained to bring in others (one thing that i must say the training really helped me in my career as a sales director, ironically enough).. i was just wondering how other people view this.

bagpuss

I didn't bring anyone into the org, but i do feel really guilty that my children missed out on so many birthdays and christmases when they were young. It doesn't seem to worry them but I feel really bad that they missed out because of something that I believed and now can see was wrong.

48

congregational cliques

by chuckyy in

it was my experience during my 13 yrs as a jw that congregations usually had a social clique.

in other words, there would be a group of people in a congregation that would only associate (and sometimes only go out on field service too) with people within that social clique.

if you were in the clique, fine.

bagpuss

In my congregation there were a few families that were the "in" people to associate with. All of these were elders families and while the elders themselves were usually pretty nice to most people it seemed that it was the wives who decided who could join their clique.Anyone from a divided home had to find there own friends and many did - outside the congregation! When I was baptised there were many sisters who were on their own in the cong. One by one they drifted away until I was the only one.One of the last times that I took part in the service meeting was an item about how to help those in divided homes.It felt good to get up on the platform and let them know how it felt to be alone and not included in social activities. I really don't think that anything I said went in. They were more interested in how wonderful the truth is and how they show love to everyone.As far as I know the cliques remain the same to this day,but at least they don't have to worry about those who struggle on their own anymore as there aren't any!

24

Were You On The Same Wave Length As The Others In The Hall???

by minimus in

jw
friends

can you get in trouble for playing chess, having a very large gathering, going to a pg13 movie, etc.??????

so many answers amounted to this----as the answer-----"you just know better, that's all".

"mature ones" just "knew" without asking whether something was right or wrong, doable or not.

bagpuss

Despite being regular at meetings and in field service for nearly 15 years I never fitted in to my congregation. My husband is convinced that was because he wasn't a jw and he may be right.It always made me feel upset to listen to talks about how elders should take the lead in inviting those in divided homes into their homes. Not one elder invited me to their home,unless they wanted me to take part in the service meeting.Other than that I was not welcome.