Posts by Thegoodgirl

1

Genes re-united... and converted

by New Worldly Translation in

jw
friends

my parents are really into genealogy and looking into their ancestors at the moment.

pretty interesting thing to do you might say.

i have a funny feeling their going to turn it into a witnessing opportunity though.

Thegoodgirl

That's cool that you found some relatives. My grandfather did that about 10 years ago, and we had a huge family reunion in Central Wisconsin (Oshkosh) with like, 300 people. It turned out that one of the 300 was a Witness (actually she was just married into the family). Mom was super excited, so then everyone was happy. (We thought we were the only JWs in the family.)

I can't count the times we've ruined something fun by trying to Witness, but hopefully your newfound relatives will just give a polite "no thanks" and move on with finding cool family tidbits.

GG

12

Listen to Mom or listen to love?

by skeptikchick in

my boyfriend and i have been together for almost 2 years now and living together for one.

our relationship couldn't be better, we love each other more than anything, and are supportive of each other in every way.

both of us are convinced that we are a perfect fit for each other, and we are basically on the same page about everything, until about 2 weeks ago that is.

Thegoodgirl

Welcome Skeptic,

I don't know how old you guys are, but I'd say this is the beginning of one of the most turmulous times in his life. If he wants to keep you, he'll have to stand up to his mom and everyone fromhis childhood for the first time in his life. If he choses to please his mom then he's going to ask you to lay low/move out for the week his mom is in town. He has to make a choice, and it's not about you, it's about him stepping up to the plate and growing up. It's hard to do. I would cut him some slack and give him a little time, but don't let him let things continue the way they are for too long. Good luck.

GG

32

Thought it was about time I spill my guts...

by Krystal in

i have already posted bits and bobs about my "story"... i like the companionship i have found here and i feel it about time i get this off my chest, so here it goes.

i am a 20 year old montrealer (it is me above!

) who was brought up a witness from the day i was born.

Thegoodgirl

Krystal,

So sorry your mom wasn't there for you, but you've made it this far, stay strong, you did all the right things, they will pay off. Welcome.

GG

46

My story

by Chia in

i have posted this story before on some other boards, but after "lurking" for a long time here, i have finally decided to come out and tell my story.

it is really long, so i'm going to tell it in a few parts.

that way i can also tell if i'm boring everyone to death, haha!

Thegoodgirl

Welcome, Chia! Hope you are able to have a healthy happy existance away from your family soon. I know you love them, but you'll never be able to fully be yourself in that house. I cannot believe the elders would ask you those questions! Unbeleivable!!!!!

33

Have you conquered the indoctrination?

by Frog in

jw
friends

something i?ve wanted to ask you all for a while.

had you 100% denounced jw doctrine to yourself at the time of your leaving the org?

i know many have said that specific issues prompted them to leave i.e., wt membership in the un, silent lambs/child molestation policy, malawi political party card issues, inconsistent changes in doctrine i.e., 1975/1914 generation not passing?new light begets old light begets new light etc.

Thegoodgirl

When I was leaving (after several years of stressful doubting), I told my mom and sort of myself, that I'm just going to "try out" not going to meetings because I wanted to only go for myself not out of habit. I about 25% wasn't sure if I may go back, 75% ready to flee. Within a few months, I saw that the world did not fall apart when I stopped going to meetings, and the world still made total sense even if there were no god. Wow. That was freeing.

But still, I was raised a JW since 2 years old, and left at 21, so really it is a part of who I am to the core, and it's hard to totally reject yourself. I still feel like "everyone deserves a chance" like the Witnesses taught us, and I think the field service made up who I am professionally (I'm a nurse, but when I introduce myself to a patient, I always feel I"m knocking at the door of a "potential sheep", you know?)

Also, I still can't help it: if I'm scarred in a dark house at night or am just getting home fumbling to find the light switch, I find myself mumbling "Jehovah, Jehovah, Jehovah" to keep me safe.

35

control

by John Doe in

jw
friends

firt of all, a bit of background.

i'm 26 years old, am a math major/english minor senior on a full scholarhip in college, was raised as one of jehovah's witnesses, babtized when i was 18, left at ~ 22/23, am now agnostic/deist/confused.

i was raised on a farm in a witness family.

Thegoodgirl

I didn't read the other replies, but want to say Welcome, and hope you read more. I too didn't hate the Witnesses when I first got out, but as I have been out for about 5 years now (I'm your age), I am starting to get more negative. Also, keep in mind your experience with the JWs themselves sounds positive, others have had horrible experiences with JWs.

So sorry about your recent troubles. Its hard when family member has permenant change in mental status, my sister did too, and it is such a stress, has changed the family forever. Glad you're back in school.

So I think just keep in mind that you are right for appreciating the loving people you were surrounded with in your childhood and youth. But it's too bad that these rules/The Society has had such an invasive effect on the minds of otherwise good and sincere people. I think individual witnesses are just like everyone: some sincere, some not so nice. But when they get something in their head, for example to shun someone like yourself who may need help and support, they turn into something that they wouldn't have normally been.

50

How did you react when you left WTS?

by ljwtiamb in

i'm interested in your first rebellious act after 'getting out': homosexual sexadultery / fornicationklink your champange glass in a toastgrow a beardcurse (the really good words!

)go to churchdrugssmokingholidays / birthdaysoral / anal sex (with or without mate)blood transfusionfield service without filling out not-at-home slipsother (explain).

are you still involved?

Thegoodgirl

Since I'm still considered "inactive", my leaving was really the day I moved out from Mom's and went to college. But by the end of the week, I had gone to a club and had two and a half drinks all in one night! Two months later fornication, and many more drinks in one night. I also cuss like a sailor now, when I'm mad.

66

How do you know when your spouse is cheating on you?

by Thegoodgirl in

okay, i know this is personal, but i kind of like the annoninimity of the board versus asking my friends who are all also friends with my husband.. my husband went out of the country with a group from work this weekend.

i was supposed to go but had to cancel due to other stuff.

it turned out only 4 ended up going, my husband, a guy, and two women.

Thegoodgirl

Well, he came home last night and I made him sit down and re-explain everything face-to-face, and I tell you, I really believe he is innocent. Crumpet, you said what I was trying to get at about all the chaperone rules that we used to have, etc. But it's still of course inappropriate to do certain things, like sleep in the same hotel room, etc. (Hope things work out with your man.) At any rate, always good to not be too naive. Thank you all so much, this past weekend was so stressful for me and one of the worst, I was so glad to have some other people to bounce ideas off of. I'm often "lurking", but I'm going to start posting more, cause you guys are real nice! ((((A hug back to you all.))))

56

How do you think you will handle your own death? . . . . . [language alert]

by nicolaou in

i know it's not the lightest of topics but the current news coverage of the pope's final hours made me wonder if i'd face things as calmly as he is reported to be doing.

i don't have his faith, or any faith anymore, but i can see how for a true believer that would be a source of strength.. the thing is, a lot of us thought we'd never die.

do you really comprehend what a truly massive mind-fuck that is?

Thegoodgirl

I totally agree that it messed us up being told we will never die. When I first got out, I was frantic that any day wasted or bad decision was just burning up time in this suddenly very short lifespan of mine. (And I was right.) But you just can't think about it.

I work in an ICU and see quite a few people die. Usually they aren't aware of what's going on by that point. But if they are, it's just their family and friends they care/talk about, never money, etc. My grandfather died last week, and Grandma said the nurses rushed her into the room because he was going, and she squeezed his hand, and he squeezed back. Then he died. I just think that is the sweetest thing, and I hope that's the way I die.

19

who here has gay children?

by gotcha in

...is it ok?

did you try to stop them?

(please consider coming from a very conservative background/culture)..relatives/friends talking about it, possible trauma which may be caused by society's discrimination...

Thegoodgirl

My uncle is openly gay and has been for 26 years. Last year I was telling him the long story of how I had to so delicately let my mom know I didn't want to be a Witness anymore, and he said it sounded exactly like when he had to come out of the closet to his parents. I hear that Grandpa didn't accept it for about 4 years, and Grandpa felt guilty, etc. Grandma called his old girlfriends to ask what had happened between them. But I know that now, his partner is totally accepted into the family, he's like an uncle to me, and though Grandpa was always sort of uncomfortable with talking about art, theater, etc to him, Grandpa wholeheartedly accepted he and his partner.

I think my brother-in-law (husbands brother) is definetly gay, but he is in his 40s and has not told the family. They seem oblivious to it, like its never crossed their minds. He's really really depressed, and his parents think he just "needs to marry a nice girl." I don't think that is the problem at all. Anyway, I think it's better to come out and tell your family, but of course it depends on the family, etc. As for the parents, they should just accept it, of course, but I'm sure it's hard.