True Prophecor on the toxic family thing! Ironically enough my mother bought me a copy of "toxic parents" by I think Susan Forward. She intended it with respects to my father, in an ironic twist of fate it is her that has somehow done me the most damage with her rigid jw ways??!
Posts by Frog
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19One of those difficult nights, you know the kind??
by Frog inhad one of those nights last night.
what is is about the darkness that brings out those heightened emotions that you've been storing up for a rainy day?
don't want to sound like a sadsac with what i want to share, but i need to be able to get this off my chest tonight:) .
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19
One of those difficult nights, you know the kind??
by Frog inhad one of those nights last night.
what is is about the darkness that brings out those heightened emotions that you've been storing up for a rainy day?
don't want to sound like a sadsac with what i want to share, but i need to be able to get this off my chest tonight:) .
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Frog
Thanks Nettie babe for all the hugs and stuff:)) Yeah, I guess I knew last night that I was hardly alone in this thing, but still sometimes it just needs to come out, and we just need to be allowed to pitty ourselves and our situation. I concur with your frustration on the family bonding thing, it's just too exhausting. I decided last night, and reitterated to myself this morning that's it's not my job anymore, and probably never was. Thanks again, frogglett xx
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19
One of those difficult nights, you know the kind??
by Frog inhad one of those nights last night.
what is is about the darkness that brings out those heightened emotions that you've been storing up for a rainy day?
don't want to sound like a sadsac with what i want to share, but i need to be able to get this off my chest tonight:) .
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Frog
Thanks guys((())). Yeah, I'm gonna be okay, I always am:) I remember reading a little while back that tears are a chemical release of negative emotions. Pretty much explains why you feel like you can fly when you've shed bucket loads!
Heya crazyblonde, I'm a crazyblonde too:) I hear you on the not accepting crumbs anymore. That's a specific frase I put in a letter to my mum and sisters.
Thanks Misspeaches for your kind words, really means allot:) From one "aussiebattler" to another. xx
Froglett
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3
The Boggle Threshold.
by Blueblades inhave you ever experienced "the boggle threshold", the limit to how far your mind can stretch from your present beliefs?
can you suspend your present beliefs and investigate further evidence on subjects that challenge your mind?
do you say ,"that's mind boggling", who can be expected to believe this or that?.
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Frog
Once again I'm with tetrapod...jwit->athiest, you can't much more of a stretch then that! During the transition you learn to be incredibly open minded to new information, possibilities, perhaps a little too skeptical, and take with a grain of salt everything you hear. frog
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7
Great Apostate Fun !!
by Apostanator ini was wondering what kind of effect it would have if a letter of dis-association was written and signed with the name of a local jw that is known at the hall.
stating reasons such as the un thing or the child molestation issue.
imagine mailing it to the society with the return adress of that publisher.
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Frog
As much as I commend your intentions, I think it's a bit of a harsh prank to play on some poor unsuspecting, unless they're a child abuser that hasn't paid for their crime, or something equally as hideous.
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10
When Someone does something so special and they don't have a clue....
by Sparkplug init makes me cry.. for instance.
i was coming back from a funeral this weekend.
it was a long 10 hour drive and having had such a cruddy two weeks and especially day before prior, it was quite a shock when my travel companion pulled over in miama ok of all places and insisted we see loretta lynn.
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Frog
Know what you mean sparky, really lights up your heart and makes you feel all warn and fuzzy:) I get a real kick out of when strangers do small things to help others, when they're under no obligation to. Usually takes a bit to make me cry these days, but when I see people genuinely helping others in whatever small way, it inspires hope in humanity:) frog
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19
One of those difficult nights, you know the kind??
by Frog inhad one of those nights last night.
what is is about the darkness that brings out those heightened emotions that you've been storing up for a rainy day?
don't want to sound like a sadsac with what i want to share, but i need to be able to get this off my chest tonight:) .
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Frog
Had one of those nights last night. What is is about the darkness that brings out those heightened emotions that you've been storing up for a rainy day? Don't want to sound like a sadsac with what I want to share, but I need to be able to get this off my chest tonight:)Yeah it was a beauty though. I spent most of yesterday alone, which is never a good thing for me. I'm really a people person, and I need to keep active, or else I get quite easily down. I've moved quite a way away from my family, but truth be told I'm not really that close to any of them, for obvious reasons. I'm the sort of person that is always mediating between family members. In the past I've really valued my family relationships, and have really gone out of my way to bond with immediate and extended family members. The thing is though, that I'm always the one doing all the work. The person that keeps people in touch, passes on information that other family members should know about. Organises get togethers etc. For so long I've been fighting this uphill battle, and last night I stopped and asked myself why the hell am I wasting my time??!
Seriously, if they don't want to be close, if they don't want to provide the support for each other that they could, then what's the point in my trying to force it??
I don't have contact with my oldest sister, and my mother anymore after I've stated plainly that I won't be returning to the borg. I sent them both and my other older a sister a letter back in March, telling them how I felt about the fact that they have cut off from me, and about the pain it has caused me, and about the other painful things they have said and done...anyway, I haven't heard from my eldest sister or my mother since then, despite that I know they've received my letter. I heard from my slightly older sister, and over the course of a rollacoaste of discussions, we have agreed to disagree and maintain some contact. I feel though, that this relationship is built on eggshells. The agreement was that I would not impose on her any of my anti-witness views and we'd be okay. We have a distance relationship anyway, but our occassional conversations feel so contrived and restrained, that most of the time I think it's worse than before.
Last night though, I felt so very alone. The truth is, it catches up with me every once and a while. Most of the time I'm just busy getting on with my life, and occassionally the hardship of the situation really catches up with me. I felt like I was in such despair last night, and was so p*ssed off with my mother for abandoning me, and the fact that the family members who aren't as bound up in the faith anymore realise the fact that I continually give my best shot at starting a new life, but don't make any effort to visit me or even contact me. I still instigate all our contact, even with the family members that I believe love me, such as my brother and my father, and some cousins.
I'm tired of it now though. I'm tired of the fact that despite the progress I make, that the painful reality that I am very much alone catches up with me. I know I'll probably be okay now for a couple of months, but it's only a matter of time before I have another one of those horrible nights, where I feel like my heart is breaking all over again, and I scream and sob into my pillow. I just feel like last night was different. Last night I realised that I turn 26y/o next month, and that this is the life I have, and the reality is that this is going to keep happening on occassion. I just spent the whole night feeling so sorry for myself, and angry that I was experiencing this pain and loss when I've done nothing to bring it on myself.
Usually I do not dwell on my own pain and problems, I just get on with it. I always show my happy face to the people I meet. I'm new to the area I'm living in, and don't really have yet solid tight friendships where I can just let loose and vent. I take responsibility for the life choices I have made, and I am absolutely thrilled to be free and out of the org. I just don't think I can handle these episodes of relapse, I can't handle the knowledge that they're going to keep coming back every now and then, and there's nothing I can do about them
Sorry for the long one. Ten points if you managed to get to the end, thanks:) frog
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21
FUN IN THE EMERGENCY ROOM
by Eyebrow2 inwell...today was a monday from hell...had lots of running around to do.
i finally got our van registered (have been driving it for over a year unregistered and uninspected...amazing you can get away with that down here.
i know people that have been arrested up north for that haah).
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Frog
Mother of 5, you are a saint!! you've had mine for me, keep taking good care of em;) frog
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20
Could the Spirit world have helped your exit from the religion?
by free2beme inboy, this might be that can of worms i meant to keep closed!.
i was thinking about something though and wondered what your thoughts might be.
if you believe in angels, the spirit realm, spirit guides or spirits of loved ones that have crossed.
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Frog
I would say that something higher and more loving was involved to get me out of that religion and not something like a supposed demon.
I'm with tetrapod, you should give yourself more credit for getting you out. No doubt it was one of the most difficult periods in your life, and when the org becomes exposed to you there's a real sense of euphoria about all the new information that you are taking in from around you. It almost seems that this new information is being guided to you, as though someone was looking out for you and giving it to you at the right time. The truth is that the information was there all the time, it just took the right state of mind for you to be able to see it. If you're an optimistic person by nature, someone who respects and loves life, you will always feel that you are blessed and all the good things you receive are gifts. Truth is that if you put good vibes out there, you will get them back. Not so much talking about Kharma, but about human relationships. If you're optimistic, self-aware and generous by nature you will always see the good, and the people in your life will give back two-fold frog
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13
Life was a game of make pretend!!!
by Tez inwhen did i discover this?
i was brought up by an alcoholic mother and step father, life was miserable, told never to tell what was going on to other family members.
my elder siblings left home as soon as they could to marry.
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Frog
Hi Tez, it's great that you're at a stage where you can share your pain. Most of us here have been in very similar places to where you are. It's a tough road, but you have your lovely children, and the whole rest of your life ahead of you. Good on you for getting up the courage to be honest with yourself, you should be very proud:)
Take care of yourself, and I look forward to seeing you around the board frog