EW, Not where I live. Here on the Emerald Coast the water is the color of blue topaz and the bottom is as clear as day.
hartstrings
JoinedPosts by hartstrings
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13
Beach or Swimming Pool?
by Dimples in.
what do you do to cool off on a hot day... go to the beach or swim in a pool?
i prefer swimming in a pool myself.. dimples
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hartstrings
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25
how do JWs justify having children "in the last days?"
by kid-A inin the years leading up to 1975, there was an implicit (if not explicit) discouragement of having children given the proximity of armageddon.
for the most part, this seemed to have been ignored.
my jw grandma now has great-great grandchildren.
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hartstrings
I remember back in the mid-nineties when I was having a crisis within myself. I was pioneering with husband and we so desperately wanted children, yet the pioneers around us talked about children as if they were the devil's spawn.I wrote a letter to the society asking for a clarification on whether having chidren was okay. I never heard back even though it was written in a very sincere way. It made me so angry that they wouldn't respond.
When we eventually did get pregnant, all of our "friends" that had hung on after we quit pioneering left us. We'd see them later and they would talk down their noses at us. It makes me physically ill just thinking about it now.
Another thing that really bugged me was my great-uncle. A faithful pioneer/elder in his 60's. One time we got him talking (I still love his so much) and when we asked him why he never married and had children he got a sad look on his face and said that he was following the direction of "mother". How very, very sad.
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18
Spiking at the DC...
by Frog ini hit the pillow early last night, first week back at uni is really taking its toll after a month of sleep ins and so on lol!
i must have stirred around 11pm and started reflecting on a list of thoughts that i reserve for quiet moments.
after reading a number of threads on posters that attended the dc this year, it crossed my mind momentarily last weekend that perhaps i might do the same, even if only for a couple of hours on saturday??
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hartstrings
I seriously thought this thread was going to be about you going around putting whiskey into people's Shasta sodas at lunchtime. Darn.
OH YES! How can anyone forget Shasta brand pop??? That stuff was nasty tasting; a little Jim Beam would have made the lemon-lime tolerable, LOL!
HS
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34
Other Types of Abuse...
by RichieRich inanyone who regularly reads this site is well aware of the sexual abuse scandals amongst jw congregations worldwide.
(for those not familiar, visit www.silentlambs.org).
not to make light of those who were sexually abused, but i think there is an epedimic of other types of abuse in the org.. how many here have been, or know of, someone who was "spanked" regularly and excessively?
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hartstrings
I mentioned this when I first joined but this issue for me was the straw that broke the camel's back. Being told at a shepherding call by the elder that in order to solve my concern over bringing my outgoing 1 yr old to meetings because she wouldn't sit still that I should use a wooden spoon, well, too far buddy. This same elder stood by as a grew up and watched my father beat my mom and all of us kids savagely and never stepped in to help. KNOWING that background, still encouraging me to beat my baby. No excuse, never set foot in the KH again.- Were you spanked? YES
- How Regularly / severly? REGULARLY, BRUISED, BLEEDING
- Did your parent ever "lose control" and truly BEAT you? SEE ABOVE
- Do you know of others who were worse off? YOU MEAN MY BEST FRIEND WHOSE MOTHER WOULD POUR COLD WATER ON HER TO WAKE HER UP AND RIP CHUNKS OF HAIR OUT OF HER SCALP?
- How widespread do you feel this problem is? ALIVE AND KICKING IN THE ORG. HADN'T YOU HEARD? CHILDREN AREN'T REALLY HUMANS, WE CAN DO WHATEVER WE WISH TO THEM. WE CAN TREAT THEM ANYWAY WE FEEL LIKE. THEY ARE THERE FOR US TO BREAK...
HS
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hartstrings
Thanks for explaining Tij.
The reason I asked is because so many here talk about how the elders don't warn others when allegations of abuse have been raised against a baptized member, and how despicable that is. I am glad to hear that others in the congregation were informed of the allegations. I wish you would have had the opportunity to face them, but at least it wasn't hidden.
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hartstrings
A question that was raised after reading your letter that you never really went into was the issue involving the allegations of sexual abuse brought against you. You said you never had the opportunity to face your accusers. Would you expand on this?
Thanks,
HS
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20
JW women focused on appearance!
by Sirona init really gets on my nerves.. jw women used to be always focused, as their number one thing, on appearance.
they could be crap at the rest of the jw stuff, but if they turned up at the meeting dressed nice, thin, long hair, looking nice, all was forgiven.
of course it was because of the misogyny (sp?
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hartstrings
I always thought it was wierd that my husband "picked" me when all these submissive "yes" teenage girls were falling all over him. My husband said he knew I was the one when on our third date, I raised a cheek and let one rip. Even now since I've pulled away, he has told me that I'm a grown woman who has the right to make her own decisions and that he will love me regardless of what I choose to do.
I often would have a silent horray session when I would see independent thinkers in the cong. I know that eventually they will figure it out too.
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24
Them thinking that pioneering is equal to my full time job!
by LongHairGal inthis was a topic that annoyed me and i got into a bit of an argument years ago over this.. some sister (who never worked a day in her life i might add) with the cushy life, affluent husband thought that because she pioneered it was equal to me having a full time secular job.
there were others there who naively thought the same thing.
somehow i gave them an inferiority complex because i worked so they had to dream this up to make themselves feel better.. while i agree that someone who pioneers may be physically tired at the end of the day, there is no comparison to what i have to deal with in going to and from and being on a full time job.
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hartstrings
I'm sorry that they turned their "privilege" that they willingly volunteered for into a pissing contest.For dh and I, pioneering was grueling work. I work approximately 60 hrs a week at present as a business owner and the hardships I face now pale in comparison to the struggles and work I put into regular pioneering in a rural community with just my husband companion for six years. The rejection, the stigmatizing, the physical impact of such hot and cold long days, the personal demons in knowing your 20's are flittering away for absolutely nothing to show for it... But, that being said, I would have never told anyone who was not pioneering that I had it "harder" than them, that is just rude.
HS
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10
Anyone heard this new talk?
by Dogpatch ini got an email today that says:hi randy, i'm from wi and i have a question that deals with the talk act wisely in a senseless world given by cos. another former brother told me that he had heard this talk given in janesville, wi.
he took notes and knows that what he had heard was not imagined.
the talk dealt w/worldly people being conned by satan and therefore "willing victims" if they were raped, etc.
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hartstrings
Back when I was thick in the borg, I remember our DO telling a story on stage at a CA about how some families have EVEN been known to have parties for their children in which they play organized games and have treats. Do you realize what message that sent the neighbors, they will start to think we celebrate birthdays????!!!! I remember sitting there, shaking my head thinking how terribly judgmental he was.
HS (who just brought her girls to their first birthday party they were invited to)
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18
Where else will you find such true friends?
by sass_my_frass init always bugged me when i would hear or read that the only true friends you would find would be those you made in the organisation - nobody else will really stand by you when you need them.
it used to puzzle me when (prior to being disfellowshipped...) my true friends and my close loving family didn't make contact with me for years, right when i was very deeply depressed and i needed them.
certainly i could have put myself in their lives more pro-actively, but, it's a very effective control tool to tell people not to bother befriending a non-witness; even if they don't damage you spiritually, they will never be as loyal to you as your brothers and sisters.
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hartstrings
Totally agree Sass!!
Spent the day with JW inlaws who are visiting from out of state. They know my JW fleshly sister back in the old cong and said that she told them that she can't wait to see me. Yeah, whatever, that explains why you haven't called since last September when we were pounded with a massive hurricane (I'm sure she called just to have the "scoop" anyway). In the last year, since I've been out and making REAL friends, I have, for the first time started to fill the empty hole in my heart where true "sisterhood" is supposed to go. It is so nice to have my friends call me without an alterior motive, just because they actually care about me.
Yes, this is a hot button for me! LOL!
HS
