Check_Your_Premises

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Posts by Check_Your_Premises

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  190

  UPDATE 2: Since Freedom is Free, Why is it Taxed?

  by RichieRich in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  yesterday after school i had to go work on a project with friends.

  mom said be home by 5, but there was a huge accident a mile from where i live, and i sat on the road for like 10 - 12 minutes, and was 5 minutes late getting home.

  mom was there (didn't go to work- guess why) and she was pissed.

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  Check_Your_Premises

  I might be going out a little bit on this one but...

  The more I hear about your parents reaction the more I am getting a glimpse into your upbringing. Your mom is obviously very abusive emotionally, and your dad doesn't tell her to knock it off (parental neglect is a form of abuse), or he is abusive as well.

  Once your short term necessities are tended to, I really hope you take the time to recognize and deal with the abuse you have clearly received. That might be difficult for someone as "hardcore" as yourself to admit. But I think If you don't try to understand how this has affected you, you will go on to abused again by others, maybe in different ways. Or you might become abusive in your future relationships. Counseling is expensive, and a good counselor is hard to find.

  Until you can find/afford one, I would recommend reading The Emotionally Abusive Relationship: How to Stop Being Abused, and How to Stop Abusing by Beverly Engel.

  When you really get down to it, cults are fundamentally a control and abuse issue. That is why your momma fits in so well.

  Take care bro

  CYP
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  190

  UPDATE 2: Since Freedom is Free, Why is it Taxed?

  by RichieRich in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  yesterday after school i had to go work on a project with friends.

  mom said be home by 5, but there was a huge accident a mile from where i live, and i sat on the road for like 10 - 12 minutes, and was 5 minutes late getting home.

  mom was there (didn't go to work- guess why) and she was pissed.

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  Check_Your_Premises

  Richie,

  Her reactions are normal in the sense that this is all very shocking to her. She is going to over react and react erratically until she can figure out how to deal with all this. Once her emotions calm down, I would suspect that you should be able to deal with her along the reasonable boundaries that are finally established.

  You are beyond her control. The control she thought she had, was obviously false. She is trying to figure out how to re-establish control. That is what this is all about. That is what cults are all about, so that is what mom is all about.

  For your own sanity, I would suggest controlling every aspect of your environment that you can. Really think about what is in your control. Even minor things like your sock drawer. You will be amazed how much good this will do for your morale.

  The situation of her taking your money seems awfully odd. You might ask her how you are ever to leave if you are not allowed to save any money. You probably thought of that. The thing is, as offensive as your presence is, she isn't going to want you to leave. You will be completely out of her control at that point. Cults never want people to leave, so your mom won't want you to leave.

  And I gotta ask dude, where the hell is your old man in all this? I figured he never pushed you because he didn't want to alienate you. But now that your non-dub status is publicly known, I figured he would stand up for you a little more. I don't get it. Could you call on him for some help here? Could you try to sit down together as your mother's emotions subside, and with your dad as referee, try to figure out what control you will have over your life, and what control your folks will have in the remaining months? Could you also plan your exit?

  I know you feel bad for your mom richie, but don't put up with her crap. You didn't make her miserable, the stupid cult did. Guilt and fear is what cults use to keep people from leaving. I am sure your mom learned her lessons well.

  Take care bro

  CYP
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  23

  New to Forum...Please Read!

  by LaCatolica in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hello everyone...before i even registered here i thought i'd peek in and check what everyone was talking about!

  well, it all sparked my interest and here i am...maybe you all can help me cope with my little problem!

  here's some background:.

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  Check_Your_Premises

  What you need to understand is the jw's think theirs is the only right religion. Ok, so do Catholics I suppose. But it is different. JW's think every other Christian is unacceptable and unworthy of God's grace and salvation. JW's consider all other religions, including other denominations of Christianity to be not just wrong, but Babylon the Great!!!

  They are God's organization. Everyone else is guess whose organization?

  They are also COMPLETELY convinced they have the truth. THis is why your suegra is so annoying and obnoxious. Normal people at least acknowledge that they could be crazy or delusional. NOt a jw. Only other people can be mistaken or deluded. THEY HAVE THE TRUTH!!! If you don't accept it you are ignorant or evil.

  Get it?

  Now your husband, how much of a jw is he? The way you find out is to ask him "on a scale from 1 to 10, how sure is he that the jw is God's organization?"

  Then you might want to ask him "if there is anything that could convince him that the jw do NOT have the truth?"

  Also you might then ask "if there was proof or evidence that the jw are not God's organization, would you want to see it?"

  If he reacts positively to any of those questions, you have some room to work with here. Otherwise you might be in for some trouble.

  Cuidado!

  CYP
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  23

  New to Forum...Please Read!

  by LaCatolica in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hello everyone...before i even registered here i thought i'd peek in and check what everyone was talking about!

  well, it all sparked my interest and here i am...maybe you all can help me cope with my little problem!

  here's some background:.

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  Check_Your_Premises

  double post
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  7

  I am noticing an upsurge in newbies: Welcome ALL!!!

  by Check_Your_Premises in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  .

  i would venture to guess it has something to do with the fact that the memorial is today.. the last upsurge i noticed was during christmas.. welcome all newbies!!

  !.

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  Check_Your_Premises

  I saw you a while back when you showed up. Welcome.
  
  I don't remember sadly. I am not a jw or ex jw. I am married to one. So actually I see the increase in rank as a mark of sadness rather than healing like most. It means my wife is still in the org
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  7

  I am noticing an upsurge in newbies: Welcome ALL!!!

  by Check_Your_Premises in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  .

  i would venture to guess it has something to do with the fact that the memorial is today.. the last upsurge i noticed was during christmas.. welcome all newbies!!

  !.

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  Check_Your_Premises

  I would venture to guess it has something to do with the fact that the memorial is today.

  The last upsurge I noticed was during Christmas.

  Welcome all newbies!!!
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  62

  Something I want to tell you apostates part II

  by LeftBehind in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  to those that remember me i came here to tell you something.what i want to tell you is that you guys were right.

  i have been researching the wt since i briefly posted on this board and i have come to the conclusion that the wt is nothing but a man made organization.

  i have been researching the wt non stop since december.

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  Check_Your_Premises

  Congratulations. You chose freedom and truth! Not as easy as it sounds.

  Now if you want to help your family, I would recommend being very patient (not easy since you are about to explode), and learn about cults.

  There are a couple of books by Steven Hassan, Releasing the Bonds, and Combatting Cult Mind Control. They will help you to understand what happened to you and get rid of any latent cult thinking, guilt, and fear. They will also help you understand how best to help your family.

  Until you understand mind control, the truth of the org won't matter to your family.

  If you are patient you will get to keep both your sanity and your family!!!

  CYP
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  45

  Help - I'm in love with a JW!

  by LookingIn in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  and i am not a jw.

  from what i gather reading this site that makes me "worldly".

  anyway, i am embarrassed to say we are both married and have children.

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  Check_Your_Premises

  Your comments inspired me to encourage her to do this and tell her I would be happy for her if she is able to reconnect with him, despite my selfish desires.

  That is good to hear lookin. That means you actually love her (care about her best interests). Some folks mistake a very strong desire to be with someone as love; that is called being horny.

  I am so glad to hear you are considering long term ramifications as well.

  I never judged you, and I was a little disappointed in myself that I did not get that acknowledgement from you. I will have to try harder to not sound judgemental.

  I always knew this was a VERY complicated situation. It always is. The tough things about REALLY complicated situations is you lose perspective. That is why you always keep just a few rules, that are just written in stone, that you never break. That way no matter upside down your world gets, you always have that point of reference.

  Rule written in stone with letters a thousand feet deep: Always look out for the children's best interest!!!

  Take care.

  CYP
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  24

  PLEASE HELP ME!

  by UNCLEAR in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  my husband and i for the first time had an honest discussion regarding jw doctrines, he believes in the flawlessness of the society, so he is not easy to talk to.

  he did agree however that if 607 is not correct that the society has it all wrong.

  well to say the least that was an interesting turn of events.

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  Check_Your_Premises

  Unclear,

  I know you do... next time you feel that way, just remember that I am somewhere experiencing the exact same sensation. But this game takes patience.

  There was a guy named here as amazing1914. He helped his family leave. He put his story on freeminds.org.

  http://www.freeminds.org/psych/exithelp.htm

  It is really tough, and takes alot of patience. But the reward is keeping your sanity AND your family intact. Another couple who would be good for you to talk to is Ithinkisee and his wife freedomlover. He is kind of a hero around here. He carefully maneuvered his wife out of the org, and we were here rivited and cheering him every step of the way. Now they are both free, and she is making headway with her family as well!

  I know you are about to explode.

  patience.

  CYP
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  45

  Help - I'm in love with a JW!

  by LookingIn in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  and i am not a jw.

  from what i gather reading this site that makes me "worldly".

  anyway, i am embarrassed to say we are both married and have children.

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  Check_Your_Premises

  sometimes you can't help who you love

  True but irrelevant. Marriage isn't about love. It is a legal contract. The purpose of legal contracts is to protect the interests of all parties.

  Despite the wisdom of popular culture, the most important thing in life is not to find romantic love. The most important thing in life is not to "experience all it has to offer". The most important thing in life is honor, doing what is right (unto others), and living for a purpose higher than yourself.

  "Those who seek truth may find comfort. Those who seek comfort will find neither comfort nor truth."