I was questioned more times than I can remember. I was even called upon the carpet, for not getting along with my ex best friend. I had spies everywhere, who would tell if I passed gas in the wrong place. I couldn't get away with anything.
This was my experience too. We were hauled on the carpet for the stupidest stuff. My brother was privately reproved at a young age for calling our step Mother a Bitch in a private squabble. Which she was, and deserved to be called worse. I was brough before a JC and reproved for something my best friend did and I had no part in.
It all depends on the Elder. My Dad was just as concerned with appearances as the next Elder, but it represented as a need for perfection in his own family and discipline being handed out at the smallest show of weakness.
My step Mom, I think she did get off on the elders wife thing, but she was pretty much reviled in our congregation and had no friends. They all knew that we were being abused and everyone shook their heads over it but no one said a word.
Oh for a normal childhood- if I had a therapist, I'd be putting their kids through college!