BugEye

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Posts by BugEye

• 
  139

  Just a few more

  by BugEye in

  1. social
  2. humour

  joey's teacher sent a note home to his mother saying, "joey seems to be a very bright boy, but spends too much of his time thinking about sex and girls.".

  the mother wrote back the next day, "if you find a solution, please advise.

  i have the same problem with his father.

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  BugEye

  Bubba died in a fire and his body was burned pretty bad. The morgue
  needed someone to identify the body, so his two best friends, Daryl and
  Gomer were sent for. Daryl went in and the mortician pulled back the
  sheet. Daryl said, ''Yup, he's burnt pretty bad. Roll him over.'' The
  mortician rolled him over, and Daryl said, ''Nope, ain't Bubba.'' The
  mortician thought that was rather strange. Then he brought Gomer in
  to identify the body. Gomer took a look at him and said, ''Yup, he's
  burnt real bad, roll him over.'' The mortician rolled him over and
  Gomer said, ''No, it ain't Bubba.'' The mortician asked, ''How can you
  tell?'' Gomer said, ''Well, Bubba had two assholes.'' ''What? He had two
  assholes?'' said the mortician. ''Yup, everyone in town knew he had two
  assholes. Every time we went to town, folks would say, 'Here comes
  Bubba with them two assholes.''
• 
  139

  Just a few more

  by BugEye in

  1. social
  2. humour

  joey's teacher sent a note home to his mother saying, "joey seems to be a very bright boy, but spends too much of his time thinking about sex and girls.".

  the mother wrote back the next day, "if you find a solution, please advise.

  i have the same problem with his father.

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  2. 
  3. 
• 

  BugEye

  On the last day of kindergarten, all the children brought presents for
  their teacher.

  The florist's son handed the teacher a gift. She shook it, held it up and
  said "I bet I know what it is — it's some flowers!"

  "That's right!" shouted the little boy.

  Then the candy store owner's daughter handed the teacher a gift. She
  held it up, shook it and said "I bet I know what it is — it's a box of
  candy!"

  "That's right!" shouted the little girl.

  The next gift was from the liquor store owner's son. The teacher held
  it up and saw that it was leaking. She touched a drop with her finger
  and tasted it.

  "Is it wine?" she asked.

  "No," the boy answered. The teacher touched another drop to her
  tongue.

  "Is it champagne?" she asked.

  "No," the boy answered.

  ''What is it?"

  "A puppy!"
• 
  7

  Christianity and human rights

  by PerFect in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  a: human rights, articel nb 1 all human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights.

  .... b: christianity, dogma nb 1 those who belive in jesus christ will be saved .

  i cant get a and b in agreement.

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  BugEye

  PerFect

  Excellent use of the word bunghole, you are indeed to be commended.
  BTW "cristians" would simply say that the UN doesnt agree with GOD, end of story.

  Lots of things I dont understand, like exactly why there are so many bungholes in this world.

  Dave
• 
  38

  Brand New Religion

  by BugEye in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  new religion.

  i am hereby instituting a brand new religion.

  we will from henceforth be called the church of wendy mommy.. we are a multifaceted organisation and will have our headquarters in tampa florida 'cause i know someone there and the weather is good.. we have 3 leaders or gods if you will.

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  BugEye

  Hopeful

  Lighten up

  She would laugh at this, just ask her

  BugEye
• 
  38

  Brand New Religion

  by BugEye in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  new religion.

  i am hereby instituting a brand new religion.

  we will from henceforth be called the church of wendy mommy.. we are a multifaceted organisation and will have our headquarters in tampa florida 'cause i know someone there and the weather is good.. we have 3 leaders or gods if you will.

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  BugEye

  New religion

  I am hereby instituting a brand new religion. We will from henceforth be called The Church of Wendy Mommy.

  We are a multifaceted organisation and will have our headquarters in Tampa Florida 'cause I know someone there and the weather is good.

  We have 3 leaders or Gods if you will.

  First of all is the Goddess of sweet looking innocence and love Mommy.
  Next we prostrate ourselves to the Goddess of words and paper Jang.
  And finally we acknowledge the God of sex lust and debauchery RandyAussie

  These form our trinity of one God in three

  We bow low to their greatness and we offer ourselves unreservedly in dedication to these great ones.

  We have decided against adopting the God of the Hebrews because he has still to figure out what he is the God of. Last we checked, he was the god of war, god of love, god of peace and hate inducer. Hopefully he will soon decide who he wants to be and we'll take a vote on wether we want him or not.

  Meetings will be held regularly once each year on the 30th February at 7 PM sharp. Stragglers will be the sacrifice of the night.

  All notices will be filed in triplicate and forwarded to the office of the God JanG located in Brisbane Australia. No notices under 20 A4 pages will be accepted.

  The Church service will be commenced in worship of the Goddess Mommy, with sincere looks of kindness and comments of love between all involved. No grumpy looks will be acceptable and all who refuse to participate in the initial service will be sent to the God of the Hebrews.

  Next there will be a brief summary of notices to the Goddess JanG and the time allotted for this segment is 65 days.

  Finally we will conclude with an orgy in honour of God RandyAussie. Condoms will be provided as will instructional videos.

  Your loving and hating brother.

  BugEye
• 
  31

  Apostates exposed...

  by TheApostateAK in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  this email was intercepted last saturday afternoon.. > -----original message-----.

  > from: "governing body" < [email protected]>.

  > to: [email protected].

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  BugEye

  Daily log

  Agent think41self seems to be a double agent. Was seen in compromising position with other apostates. I suggest immediate elimination.

  Enemy LovDubs has been sighted and will be apprehended soon. She seems impervious to standard Watchtowers and Awakes so my suggestion is to use the Revelation book to confuse her mind and scramble her thought processes. It always worked for me.

  Confirming previous observations, Agent Prisca is a double agent, however nothing is needed to be done as she is sufficiently confused.

  Agent BugEye

  End Transcript
• 
  82

  Has anyone felt like leaving God altogether?

  by lookingnow22 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i know that the answer is yes, but it would help me to hear your sentiments on this.

  .

  after you decided that the wbts, and thus jw's were not god's chosen earthly organization did you feel like you wanted to leave and forget god altogether?.

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  BugEye

  Dana,

  Beautifully said

  Dave
• 
  31

  Apostates exposed...

  by TheApostateAK in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  this email was intercepted last saturday afternoon.. > -----original message-----.

  > from: "governing body" < [email protected]>.

  > to: [email protected].

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  BugEye

  Urgent communique to WTS SS

  Agent Mommy has cracked up. Needs immediate extraction.
  Repeat Agent Mommy has cracked up. Needs immediate extraction.

  Agent BugEyes found Agent Mommy rolling on the floor laughing out loud. She was discovered with her copy of the Nov 95 Watchtower. Obviously she was attempting to correct her mental state by inputting the clarification of the "Generation" issue. Unfortunately, she was just too late.

  It is indeed disturbing to see such a long standing and worthy agent as Mommy failing the grade.

  Repeat Agent Mommy has cracked up. Needs immediate extraction.

  End communique
• 
  31

  Apostates exposed...

  by TheApostateAK in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  this email was intercepted last saturday afternoon.. > -----original message-----.

  > from: "governing body" < [email protected]>.

  > to: [email protected].

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  BugEye

  New transcript

  Ladonna : She seems just your average apostate, but this one is smart
  Prisca : Below par, no need to worry about this one.

  Internal monitoring section is seriously in trouble, I suggest increasing communications security and making sure the pidgeons are well fed before release. (proud that we are using modern communications not like this Apostate crowd)

  Also, note to funding unit : Can I have $10.00 for lunch??

  End Transcript
• 
  13

  The Firm and The WTS

  by bj in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i would like to share with you the following comparison that is based from the book the firm by john grisham:.

  the main character is mitchell mcdeere, a young advocate who was recruited by a small, but well-respected law firm.

  they promised him a colourful future if he abide with their codes.

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  BugEye

  BJ,

  Interesting but stretching it.

  BTW, where I come from, bj stands for Blow Job, are you after free advertising or something?

  Dave