As a teen, I looked forward to the assemblies. The anticipation and new clothes were fun, anything to break the monotony of my day to day life as a dub. Then getting to the assembly and realizing what I was in for. In the morning the excitement still fresh. By the afternoon I was desperately trying to stay awake or amusing myself by watching people, fantasizing about boys, bathroom escapes etc.... What a waste!
Evi
Posts by evita
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29Assemblies suck
by Nosferatu indidn't it drive you up the wall how, after a long week of working or going to school, you had to spend your entire weekend at an assembly?
the saturday and sunday that you could've spent catching up on some yard work, or even relaxing was wasted away by sitting in a bunch of chairs, listening to stuff you've heard many times before.. i know this used to drive me up the wall.
it felt like i had absolutely no time to myself during these weekends.
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evita
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17
Letter to my Elder Uncle
by Lehaa inthis is the letter i just recently sent to my uncle.
he replied
its not hypocritical.
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evita
Dear Leah
I am so sorry and I know how painful it is to be shunned by those you love. I think it just has to be endured and the reasons for why we have to go through this may never make sense. Focus your attention on your kids and others who can respond to you in a more loving and "spiritual" way than the JW's.
My thoughts are with you.
Evi -
31
List options for my escape here.
by tsunami_rid3r inproblem: .
want a normal life of going to college, freedom.
in return will get kicked out of the house.
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evita
Hi Tsunami
You are really in a tough situation that I can relate to. I did very well in HS and had teachers willing to help me apply for scholarships. I had to turn down their help because my Jw mother would not sign the forms. At 18 I begged her to let me attend the local JC. Her response was "not as long as you live in my house". I spent the next few years trying to fade and establish a life outside the org. At 20, I moved out and at 24 began to attend a 4yr. college. It took me 6 years to get my degree but I felt a huge sense of accomplishment. And I had no student loans to pay back as I had worked my way through. It can be done.
My advice for what it's worth. Go to college and live on campus. Gradually establish a life outside the organization by making friends and finding mentors. My advisor opened a lot of doors for me. Do the minimal that your folks require. Even if you only get one year of college credit out of them you will have established yourself and have something under your belt. Gradually become too busy to do all the Witness stuff. They will either get used to it or make you choose but you will be older and wiser and more independent.
Try to stay positive and loving toward your parents. I wasn't able to and I regret that now. You have your whole life ahead of you and I wish you the best.
Evi -
29
left out in the cold
by donald inhello im new to this...my wife and i are still baptized....but weve not gone to meetings regulary...for some time now...even though we still go to the memorial.....and we are wondering if to go back.....here without being too specfic is our story.
i was rasied in the truth...she was not...she got baptized...about 3 years after we were married..i was made a m.s.
in 1990...but becuse of personal reasons i stepped down shortly after..i conecentrated on raiseing my family..and had to work 2 jobs to support them......3 children.....then a few years later my wife left me for some one else...and then i got very sick...and was told my kidney was failing....a elder came to my house and told me that if there was anything i neede that all i had to do was ask...well...a few weeks later i asked this elder...if he could get a couple of young brothers to hep me get rid off some boxes of stuff my wufe had left behind..because i could not lift them...he told me in a reproachful tone...get your family to help you...this after he had told me weeks before...to ask him for help........i thought at the time its no big deal....but then something else happen to call into question all about jw.
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evita
I am so glad you have the support of your wife and children. Your story is heartbreaking and I can't imagine having to deal with it while having health problems. Please take good care of yourself. This board can be much help as you rebuild your life.
Evi -
32
Thought it was about time I spill my guts...
by Krystal ini have already posted bits and bobs about my "story"... i like the companionship i have found here and i feel it about time i get this off my chest, so here it goes.
i am a 20 year old montrealer (it is me above!
) who was brought up a witness from the day i was born.
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evita
Welcome Krystal
I was really touched by your story. So much to deal with at such a young age. I know how painful it can be to need your mom so much and have her shun you. I hope she reconsiders before the relationship is irreparably broken. I wish you all the best as you release yourself from the JW bonds of guilt, sadness, and fear and create a new and wonderful life with your future husband.
Evi -
82
Name Things You Can Get Counseled,Reproved or Disfellowshipped For
by minimus insince the jw religion is sooooo restrictive, it is good to think about just how wacky this cult is.....for example, you can get counseled for buying a 2 door car as opposed to a "pioneer" car (4 door).
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evita
At 15 I was counseled by the elders because I snapped at my mother while in field service. They almost didn't let me get baptized at the coming assembly.
The elders thought I was bad association for their daughters because i wasn't raised in the troof.
My best friend was an elders daughter from anothers cong. who wore a ton of makeup. I was counseled that she was bad association for me.
The same elders daughter and I went to see an R rated movie. I was 19 and she was 20. Her mother refused to speak to us when we got home, and her dad was furious.
I had lunch at High School with a girl who had a large Jw family but was not active and engaged to marry a man many years older than herself. An elders wife had a fit and complained to my mother about my bad association. That was almost 30 years ago and the girl and older guy are still married!
I was temp. pioneering and wanted to continue. Was counselled that I couldn't due to my low magazine placement. Actually they were right about this one - I wasn't doing anything out in service. I hated it and I was afraid of people and dogs....LOL
Evi -
63
Did You Ever Think You'd No Longer Be A Witness?
by minimus indid you ever dream that you'd be posting here too?
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evita
I was always religiously confused. Born Jewish, raised an atheist, Mom became a Jw when I was 14 and I was baptized at 15.
I don' t know if I ever really believed it. I remember praying to Jehoba to please help me believe. Then I just did it to fit in but I think I even had myself fooled for a while.
I also remember praying to J to help me find a way to get out.
What a confused and foolish girl I was.
A little less confused now.
Evi -
36
Anyone Here from No Calif?
by love2Bworldly indoes anyone post here who is from northern california?
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evita
I'm from Sonoma County
Evi -
25
Regrets
by Blueblades indo you beat yourself up about things you should've, would've, could've done with your life, instead of becoming one of jehovah's witnesses.what regrets do you have, if any?
what are you doing now to overcome your regrets?.
blueblades
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evita
I regret losing my teenage years to JW
I regret all the hours and hours spent at meetings, field service
I regret how long it took me to "fade" - 4 yrs.
I regret being so angry and holding on to past hurts for so long.
But, I am sooo glad I left when I did. I was still young so I went to college, got married, had 3 terrific kids.
So, to all of you out there who are thinking of leaving... Get out now! You will never regret it.
Evi -
27
Slow Fade Progresses
by TheListener ini wanted to give everyone an update on the current state of my slow fade.
i live in an environment that is hostile to the slow fade so i usually speak in general terms.
this time i plan to give just a little bit more information so i can heal myself as i go through this process.. i have doubted for several years (about 3).
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evita
Doing the slow fade is really agonizing. When you step down, some will be angry, some will be scandalized, some will feel uncomfortable and ignore you, and some will be legitimately sad and recognize the loss. It will all happen the way that it happens and you will need to endure. I am glad to hear you are making friends outside the org. This helped me so much! There are many who will care about you as you share your story with them, including us here on this board.
My only regret when I faded was how angry I was with everyone. I was not my best self and I did and said some things I wish I hadn't. But I was young and immature. You seem to be handling it very well considering the pressure you're under.
Wishing you the best in your journey out.
Evi