stillAwitness
LOL That is so funny... in a very sad way.
Eva
Posts by evita
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6Any current bethelites here affected by the layoffs?
by watch the tower in.
let us know how you feel.
what is the general mood like over there?.
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evita
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26
Assemblies: Were You Always on the Prowl for a Mate?
by prophecor init was usually encouraged that we try to remain single somewhere during the assembly, especially the summer conventions.
some of you sisters were so hott with your summer dresses, hair freshly done.
though i went for the obligatory meeting attendance, it was nice to be able to go on a fishing expedition for sisters, if that was your choosing.
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evita
misspeaches
That story gives me the creeps and reminds me of the creepy mating behavior of JW's. In my cong. the young and single were not allowed to hang out together. We had no way of getting to know members of the opposite sex in any real way so our interactions were stiff and self-conscious.
Yes, I remember "scoping" at the assemblies. It was so depressing. You had to be super cute, super spiritual, or come from an elders family to get any attention. One young brother bragged about how he could just have his pick of any sister.
My social skills were so retarded when I left. It took me years to just be a normal person.
Eva -
26
Panic Crisis after talking to JW
by Genesis init's very strange what happened to me those days.
right now im leaving the borg and moving from my appart(im with a pioneer).
im keeping myself informed and right now im reading crisis of conscience by raymond franz.
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evita
Leaving can be a long and painful process. Some seem to make a clean break but I think most of us go through many agonizing changes as we learn the truth about the "troof".
I went through a major depression, lots of self-doubt. Cut my long hair short like a boy, lost tons of weight. After not attending for a while I had a major crisis and went to a district convention alone to see if I was possibly making a major mistake. I felt so vulnerable, alone and isolated. I was not a witness but not a "wordling" either. A pioneer boy from another cong. ( who had never given me the time of day) was very attentive to me. I thought to myself, I could stay, marry this boy, be a good little dub wife. The reality of that scenario hit me like a ton of bricks and I never went back.
Your feeling are perfectly normal. Take good care of yourself and try to find people who can support you through this. I wish you the best.
Eva -
26
Panic Crisis after talking to JW
by Genesis init's very strange what happened to me those days.
right now im leaving the borg and moving from my appart(im with a pioneer).
im keeping myself informed and right now im reading crisis of conscience by raymond franz.
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evita
Leaving can be a long and painful process. Some seem to make a clean break but I think most of us go through many agonizing changes as we learn the truth about the "troof".
I went through a major depression, lots of self-doubt. Cut my long hair short like a boy, lost tons of weight. After not attending for a while I had a major crisis and went to a district convention alone to see if I was possibly making a major mistake. I felt so vulnerable, alone and isolated. I was not a witness but not a "wordling" either. A pioneer boy from another cong. ( who had never given me the time of day) was very attentive to me. I thought to myself, I could stay, marry this boy, be a good little dub wife. The reality of that scenario hit me like a ton of bricks and I never went back.
Your feeling are perfectly normal. Take good care of yourself and try to find people who can support you through this. I wish you the best.
Eva -
39
see any good movies lately?
by lucifer in.
i know i did, i saw the family stone, it was funny and sad at the same time, i would go see it again, and chronicles of narnia, i saw it twice already and want to go again, what about you guys?
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evita
I saw Pride and Prejudice. Thought is was good, very romantic. My friends thought it wasn't as good as the A&E version.
Also, Capote and Good Night & Good Luck. Interesting and great performances.
Watched Secondhand Lions and School of Rock with the kids. Fun family films. -
25
How stressed were you as a JW?
by JH ini don't know about you guys, but it stressed me alot to be a jw.. i never did like talking in public, in front of a group, or going door to door.. gee, i hated the tms meeting.
the moment i knew that i had a talk, i became nervous and often i had a hard time sleeping.
just knowing that i had to talk for 5 minutes in front of the whole congrgation got me nervous weeks ahead of time.
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evita
Yeah, I was stressed out but most of it came from "sitting on the fence" , pretending to be a good little dub. I always detested field service as I was very shy and terrified of dogs. But meetings and FS became sheer torture once I knew I would leave the witnesses eventually.
I was also very afraid of getting found out since I was leading somewhat of a double life. Came close on many occasions but never was DF'ed or even reproved as there were never two witnesses just constant tattling by my so-called friends.
Leaving was even more stressful than being in because my mother was devastated and I had to deal with that; the guilt trips and the shunning.
During this time I started college full-time while working about 30 hours per week. Major stress!
Eva -
18
my story
by fordulant inhi, i found this discussion forum and felt a need to tell my story, and prehaps talk to people who have an understanding of what it feels like and means to be brought up a jehovahs witness.
i was practically born into a jehovahs witness family, there was my mother, my sister and myself, my father (a non-believer) left when i was 3. i can remember my mum telling me that i would never get to school as armagedden would be here before then, then i can remember her saying that i would never get to high school as armagedden would be here.... it was a kind of running theme, mum always lived expecting the end of the world the next day.
mum re-married when i was 6 and her new husband quickly became an elder in the congregation, i also gained 2 step-sisters and a step-brother, who did not live with us but their mother who was not a jw.
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evita
Welcome to the board
I can't even imagine what you went through when you "outted" yourself to the elders and your family. You must have nerves of steel!
Glad you've found some happiness and peace now.
Eva -
21
What will it be like when I finally D'A MYSELF?
by stillAwitness ini have the feeling that 2006 will be that year.
i finally told my brother about my feelings toward the wt (he was never baptized) and i'm still waiting for him to respond through email.
how do you mentally prepare for it?
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evita
I faded when I was your age. My boyfriend at the time was really excited about me cutting off all ties by sending a DA letter. I think he was itching for some drama. But there was enough drama without a formal disassociation and I really just wanted to quietly fade. It worked quite well but my mom still shunned me.
I think it's a good idea to create some outside life before leaving the witnesses. I also found counseling to be helpful.
Best wishes to you.
Eva -
58
If You Had Internet Access Years Ago----Would You Have Gotten Out Sooner?
by minimus ini don't know if i could've 15 years ago because of having nowhere else to go, but now i know i couldn't stay.
what about you??
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evita
I started to fade in my early 20's. That was over 20 years ago before the internet, but we still had the LIBRARY!. Something compelled me to look up JW and I found a Time or Newsweek article about Ray Franz. From there I found his book, as well as Visions of Glory and The Orwellian World of Jehovahs Witnesses. These books helped to solidify what I already knew deep down. I was also attending college at the time which helped me to think critically.
But all the reading in the world did not help me cope with the extreme despair, loneliness, and depression I experienced when I left the "truth". That's where the internet would have helped so much, connecting me with others who had similar issues. Also, I could have learned from those with more wisdom and avoided many mistakes I made in dealing with my mother who shunned me. I was seeing a therapist, but she had never left a cult.
I have had internet access for years. When my mom was dying last year, a friend suggested I try some ex-jw sites. I had never even thought about it before! I must have been in extreme denial. I spent many months lurking before I got the nerve to post.
Eva -
24
Northern CA Flooding
by lonelysheep in.
everyone out there, when you can, will you please let us know if you're ok amongst the flooding and mudslides!!
purza?
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evita
Our entire garage was in about 3-4 inches of water early this morning. The street was about knee deep. It dried out quickly but we spent the whole day cleaning the mess in the garage. This is in Santa Rosa and I can't remember it flooding like this. We are sand-bagging it tonight just in case.
Happy New Year!
Eva