so sorry tall penguin GAL.
My sincere appologies,
Cordelia
JoinedPosts by Cordelia
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35
My First Doubt
by tall penguin inthis may not seem like your typical doubt but it was the first time i allowed myself to question the bible and the wt's explanation of things.
about 6 years ago, i was assigned a talk on the man judah.
this was when we were doing talks on specific bible characters.
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99
guys i really need your help
by Cordelia intodaythings have really come to a head and i have a massive decusion to make by 7pm tonight!.
basically i have been dfed since march tryed to get reinstated two weeks ago but they said no, thing is i only did it for my family esp my dad he is not well and i love him to pieces.
but when i got dfed i had a boyfriend and things have been up and down (hes put up with alot) but he is sticking by my side and i love him and want to be open about him and not lie anymore, .
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Cordelia
thats the piont tho daystar i honestly dont know what would make me truely happy!
im leaving the jws anyway i just wonder whether i would be happier being reinstated first, so i can have some degree of contact rather than throwing it away for a bf who im not sure is worth it!
see if the bf wasnt in the picture i would just be leaving for me and would probably do that after i got reinstated (play them at their own game get that annoucement maybe even help unsupecting ones to leave!) if the bf is in the picture he will not allow me to get reinstaed coz it would mean hiding him even more, and he keeps wanting me to prove my love by telling everyone about him,
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35
My First Doubt
by tall penguin inthis may not seem like your typical doubt but it was the first time i allowed myself to question the bible and the wt's explanation of things.
about 6 years ago, i was assigned a talk on the man judah.
this was when we were doing talks on specific bible characters.
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Cordelia
that was one of my first doubts too!
i read it in a question from readers, and the answer was that it didnt matter coz in the end the right thing had happened the family line had been carried on correctly and tamar was so righteous!
it didnt seem to matter that perverted judah slept with a prositute (premeditated sin i believe!) and had no idea it was tamar. how can that be right? and yet the society hold to so much onto accounts that they pick out to tell us how wrong we are but seem to miss this one!
i completely agree with you penguin guy.
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guys i really need your help
by Cordelia intodaythings have really come to a head and i have a massive decusion to make by 7pm tonight!.
basically i have been dfed since march tryed to get reinstated two weeks ago but they said no, thing is i only did it for my family esp my dad he is not well and i love him to pieces.
but when i got dfed i had a boyfriend and things have been up and down (hes put up with alot) but he is sticking by my side and i love him and want to be open about him and not lie anymore, .
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Cordelia
i know you are both right and thank u for being there for me, but i think i am realising that i couldnt be happy without my family around me, i think what i should do is get reinstated and then leave, i know i can do it now as i have really stood up to my dad so much im sure i could handle fading and i think thats maybe what i should do,
as for the bf to be quite honest i know i have been unfair on him, but there have been a few things that have happened recently that have made me question how much i love him, he really can be a nasty person and talk to me badly, and hes younger than me and i just think he cant give me the support i need, tho i realise things must be so hard for him, but i think if i keep seeing him im gonna resent him and that isnt fair,
x
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99
guys i really need your help
by Cordelia intodaythings have really come to a head and i have a massive decusion to make by 7pm tonight!.
basically i have been dfed since march tryed to get reinstated two weeks ago but they said no, thing is i only did it for my family esp my dad he is not well and i love him to pieces.
but when i got dfed i had a boyfriend and things have been up and down (hes put up with alot) but he is sticking by my side and i love him and want to be open about him and not lie anymore, .
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Cordelia
thanks everyone but it doesnt matter anymore, thye have won i am so unhappy without my dad and the bf has not been nice at all this weekend in fact hes hurt me every single day coz he seems just not to care at all when i needed him the most.
ive told my dad i am putting the bf before him and seeing how it works out, my dad said he doesnt want to know coz it will hurt him so much and he has kept his word and not contacted me,
but my ex was bringing my daughter home and i told my bf to go to the pub for 5 mins so that my ex didnt see him (coz he would tell my dad) and he went mad and we have finished now, i understand my bf position he wants my ex to know he is still seeing me, but things have been that bad between us that once they actually know i have gone ahead and had him at my house etc that will be completely it my 8 months of trying to get reinstated will be gone and everything! and things have been so bad ive felt really uncared for and unloved by my bf the one who i am losing my entire family for that i am not willing to do it just yet and think if he loved me he would see how much i have already done for him and just give me a couple of weeks to see if we can not argue and that i could be sure i was doing the right thing in losing everyone,
why can he not just be there for me instead of always wanting more? or why cant he just show me we can actually have a day without being upset so that i can lose everyone completely and feel thats hes worth doing it for?
dont know why im writing all this personal stuff i just feel so depressed at the mo!
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Uh...hi...
by klinton ini was looking around the internet, trying to locate an image of god's chariot to show someone, and i found this little place here.
it's...interesting.
as far as i can tell from poking around there seems to be a mix of the faithful, the inactive, and the disfellowshiped (like myself).
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Cordelia
Thanks Klinton, the heavy drinking definately going on!
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Uh...hi...
by klinton ini was looking around the internet, trying to locate an image of god's chariot to show someone, and i found this little place here.
it's...interesting.
as far as i can tell from poking around there seems to be a mix of the faithful, the inactive, and the disfellowshiped (like myself).
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Cordelia
<<<welcome>>>
hope you enjoy being on this site, i was dfed in march and have been trying to get reinstated for my family but now i cant take it anymore and am trying to be honest with them that i dont want it anymore! so wanted to ask you how you coped with it losing everyone?
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586 607 Jerusalem destroyed.
by PoppyR inhi guys, new!
and i'm sure this has been covered, but i find the site has no search for me to look, so sorry if you've discussed it to death.
for the first time last night i came across information about 586 being the actual year jerusalem was destroyed.
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Cordelia
If you look in any encloypidia (cant spell) it will give you the true date,
when i first got on this site i posted two threads about it and someone gave me the line of the kings where you can check from the bible how long each one ruled for and get to the date that way too, (i wanted proof from the bible it wasn't true!) (it's on my topic history if you click on my name)
ps. i've just read your profile and i would definately advise fading rather than being dfed just from my own experience it causes too much heartache if youre family are dubs!
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anyone ever wonder whether IT could be the TRUTH?
by Cordelia ini cant believe im posting this either!.
but ive got a huge decision to make wont go thru it all again its on my last thread, and i have decided that i am stopping going to the meetings completly (ive been dfed 7 months and because i didnt want to hurt my family even more i continued going to all the meetings and hid my boyfriend, wno was wonderful about it, put a letter of reinstatement in which they refused but relised by the way i paniked when i thought they might reinstate me that it is not what i want!).
i love my bf and want to be with him without any secrecy but i also want my family to accept him and still speak to me but i know that will not happen, so i have two choices either get reinstated and then leave (and risk losing mybf) or tell them now i dont want it and stop the meetings altogether before i go insane.. thing is to be free of the meetings and be with my bf, i will lose my family they are all so strong in the 'truth' they will not have any contact with me and my husband is divorcing me so ill lose finacially and my house and have to share time with my daughter, not to mention all my old friends who are wanting me back, and if i stop now all those months of trying to be reinstated will be wasted id be set right back,.
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Cordelia
good piont famous!
sass, i was married for 9 years to a witness awho treated me bad, when i left (and thought i'd marry my bf) he just didnt divorce me (we have a 3 year old girl and he wanted us to be together again for her) but we dont love each other, it's sad but i know what proper love is now i have met my bf,
the reason why i get him to hid from him is because the origanal plan was for me to get reinstated and if my ex knew about him it would get to the elders and they'd be no chance of reinstatement. plus it would really hurt my dad as he'd know i've been lying to him!
Now my ex says he knows i am seeing the bf but coz i he has no proof i still don't want him to see my bf at my house (when he brings my baby home) reason is because when i told my dad about him he just said 'don't tell me, don't tell me' (and i felt bad coz he obviously wants to not know properly so maybe he can still have me a little bit!)
but my bf feels thats not good enough and we should be open now, but because we have been fighting so much and i've felt like he doesn't care, i am scared to do it and completly ruin my chance of reinstatement and hurt my dad if we are gonna keep fighting!
but hearing your story has made me see i should put him first but i want support off him too,
what a horriable organization when you can't be happy without it hurting everyone you love and losing everything, i'm beginning to hate it!
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Update on me
by fullofdoubtnow inhi, i am with my friend dedpoet again, we've been out for an hour or so, and he has kindly allowed me to post again from his pc as i have no internet access at home.. i have been reading all your kind replies to my posts of a few days ago, thank you all so much.
afew things have happened to me in the last few days which i would like to share with you all.
i missed tuesday nights meeting, as i have been doing for all the meetings for the last few weeks, and at around 930 had a visit from the po and another elder.
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Cordelia
A friend of mine who has secretly stayed in contact with me but has recently started to ask about the un etc and the elders know she is seeing me (sometimes) but she has been told she will get dfed if she sees me again (but only one elder told her) so i wondered can they actually do that?