Cordelia

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Posts by Cordelia

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  99

  guys i really need your help

  by Cordelia in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  todaythings have really come to a head and i have a massive decusion to make by 7pm tonight!.

  basically i have been dfed since march tryed to get reinstated two weeks ago but they said no, thing is i only did it for my family esp my dad he is not well and i love him to pieces.

  but when i got dfed i had a boyfriend and things have been up and down (hes put up with alot) but he is sticking by my side and i love him and want to be open about him and not lie anymore, .

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  Cordelia

  Ross those poem were brilliant have you wrote any more since?

  you are right my mum is a good sign but would she still do it if she thought i was living in sin!

  i dont understand why im so mixed up, how can i swing from loving my bf and be willing to give up everything, then being strong enough to tell my dad i dont want the truth even tho im not reinstated, to feeling like i should just go back to my old life for my daughter even if it means being back in the truth! i find myself thinking things like we would move halls that would be ok and maybe it is the truth??

  how can i be swinging so much and should i lose my family if im not sure altho if i dont i will find myself back in the truth and have lost my bf!!
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  99

  guys i really need your help

  by Cordelia in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  todaythings have really come to a head and i have a massive decusion to make by 7pm tonight!.

  basically i have been dfed since march tryed to get reinstated two weeks ago but they said no, thing is i only did it for my family esp my dad he is not well and i love him to pieces.

  but when i got dfed i had a boyfriend and things have been up and down (hes put up with alot) but he is sticking by my side and i love him and want to be open about him and not lie anymore, .

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  Cordelia

  you are right, sometimes i wonder why i left in the first place now my ex is trying to be nice and keeps saying we shouldnt be sharing our little girl but he would only have me back if i was in the truth again! and obviously there was areason i left in the first place! i just gave up so much we had a lovely house,

  im just so mixed up and now my mum has broke her arm and actually invited me round tomorrow as she says it is difficult family circumstances so she can see me! i know it will just be an opputunity for her to tell me to get reinstated and back with my ex,

  i just dont know what to do the bf says he will get back with me but only if i tell everyone we are moving in together and give it a proper go! but then i hurt everyone even more (coz id be living in sin!) and then i feel mad at him giving me that ultermatim when he has treated me so bad, but then he does prob deserve it,

  see i feel that if he had been supportive and nice i could of done anything! but maybe i wouldnt be happy without my family! im so mixed up (and going on too much!)
• 
  99

  guys i really need your help

  by Cordelia in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  todaythings have really come to a head and i have a massive decusion to make by 7pm tonight!.

  basically i have been dfed since march tryed to get reinstated two weeks ago but they said no, thing is i only did it for my family esp my dad he is not well and i love him to pieces.

  but when i got dfed i had a boyfriend and things have been up and down (hes put up with alot) but he is sticking by my side and i love him and want to be open about him and not lie anymore, .

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  Cordelia

  thanks again

  daystar thats what i was wondering if the bf has been so unsupportive now ( and actually cruel at times) then i dont need him, i was scared that i was being unreasonable and expecting too much but i think i deserve a little understanding not an unreasonable request to do everything at once! (i think)

  little toe i know i have made things harder esp as i have started working on a tuesday over the group time, and i dont want to go thru all the hard times again, my ex husband would prob support me if i showed i was doing it properly (he still wants us to get back for our little girl!) i am just so confused i have just been focusing on the bf entirely but its ended up with me getting hurt,

  i just have to think whats best for me and my daughter (tho what that is i dont know!)
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  35

  My First Doubt

  by tall penguin in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  this may not seem like your typical doubt but it was the first time i allowed myself to question the bible and the wt's explanation of things.

  about 6 years ago, i was assigned a talk on the man judah.

  this was when we were doing talks on specific bible characters.

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  Cordelia

  so sorry tall penguin GAL.

  My sincere appologies,
• 
  99

  guys i really need your help

  by Cordelia in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  todaythings have really come to a head and i have a massive decusion to make by 7pm tonight!.

  basically i have been dfed since march tryed to get reinstated two weeks ago but they said no, thing is i only did it for my family esp my dad he is not well and i love him to pieces.

  but when i got dfed i had a boyfriend and things have been up and down (hes put up with alot) but he is sticking by my side and i love him and want to be open about him and not lie anymore, .

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  Cordelia

  thats the piont tho daystar i honestly dont know what would make me truely happy!

  im leaving the jws anyway i just wonder whether i would be happier being reinstated first, so i can have some degree of contact rather than throwing it away for a bf who im not sure is worth it!

  see if the bf wasnt in the picture i would just be leaving for me and would probably do that after i got reinstated (play them at their own game get that annoucement maybe even help unsupecting ones to leave!) if the bf is in the picture he will not allow me to get reinstaed coz it would mean hiding him even more, and he keeps wanting me to prove my love by telling everyone about him,
• 
  35

  My First Doubt

  by tall penguin in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  this may not seem like your typical doubt but it was the first time i allowed myself to question the bible and the wt's explanation of things.

  about 6 years ago, i was assigned a talk on the man judah.

  this was when we were doing talks on specific bible characters.

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  Cordelia

  that was one of my first doubts too!

  i read it in a question from readers, and the answer was that it didnt matter coz in the end the right thing had happened the family line had been carried on correctly and tamar was so righteous!

  it didnt seem to matter that perverted judah slept with a prositute (premeditated sin i believe!) and had no idea it was tamar. how can that be right? and yet the society hold to so much onto accounts that they pick out to tell us how wrong we are but seem to miss this one!

  i completely agree with you penguin guy.
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  99

  guys i really need your help

  by Cordelia in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  todaythings have really come to a head and i have a massive decusion to make by 7pm tonight!.

  basically i have been dfed since march tryed to get reinstated two weeks ago but they said no, thing is i only did it for my family esp my dad he is not well and i love him to pieces.

  but when i got dfed i had a boyfriend and things have been up and down (hes put up with alot) but he is sticking by my side and i love him and want to be open about him and not lie anymore, .

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  Cordelia

  i know you are both right and thank u for being there for me, but i think i am realising that i couldnt be happy without my family around me, i think what i should do is get reinstated and then leave, i know i can do it now as i have really stood up to my dad so much im sure i could handle fading and i think thats maybe what i should do,

  as for the bf to be quite honest i know i have been unfair on him, but there have been a few things that have happened recently that have made me question how much i love him, he really can be a nasty person and talk to me badly, and hes younger than me and i just think he cant give me the support i need, tho i realise things must be so hard for him, but i think if i keep seeing him im gonna resent him and that isnt fair,

  x
• 
  99

  guys i really need your help

  by Cordelia in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  todaythings have really come to a head and i have a massive decusion to make by 7pm tonight!.

  basically i have been dfed since march tryed to get reinstated two weeks ago but they said no, thing is i only did it for my family esp my dad he is not well and i love him to pieces.

  but when i got dfed i had a boyfriend and things have been up and down (hes put up with alot) but he is sticking by my side and i love him and want to be open about him and not lie anymore, .

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  Cordelia

  thanks everyone but it doesnt matter anymore, thye have won i am so unhappy without my dad and the bf has not been nice at all this weekend in fact hes hurt me every single day coz he seems just not to care at all when i needed him the most.

  ive told my dad i am putting the bf before him and seeing how it works out, my dad said he doesnt want to know coz it will hurt him so much and he has kept his word and not contacted me,

  but my ex was bringing my daughter home and i told my bf to go to the pub for 5 mins so that my ex didnt see him (coz he would tell my dad) and he went mad and we have finished now, i understand my bf position he wants my ex to know he is still seeing me, but things have been that bad between us that once they actually know i have gone ahead and had him at my house etc that will be completely it my 8 months of trying to get reinstated will be gone and everything! and things have been so bad ive felt really uncared for and unloved by my bf the one who i am losing my entire family for that i am not willing to do it just yet and think if he loved me he would see how much i have already done for him and just give me a couple of weeks to see if we can not argue and that i could be sure i was doing the right thing in losing everyone,

  why can he not just be there for me instead of always wanting more? or why cant he just show me we can actually have a day without being upset so that i can lose everyone completely and feel thats hes worth doing it for?

  dont know why im writing all this personal stuff i just feel so depressed at the mo!
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  32

  Uh...hi...

  by klinton in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i was looking around the internet, trying to locate an image of god's chariot to show someone, and i found this little place here.

  it's...interesting.

  as far as i can tell from poking around there seems to be a mix of the faithful, the inactive, and the disfellowshiped (like myself).

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  Cordelia

  Thanks Klinton, the heavy drinking definately going on!
• 
  32

  Uh...hi...

  by klinton in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i was looking around the internet, trying to locate an image of god's chariot to show someone, and i found this little place here.

  it's...interesting.

  as far as i can tell from poking around there seems to be a mix of the faithful, the inactive, and the disfellowshiped (like myself).

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  Cordelia

  <<<welcome>>>

  hope you enjoy being on this site, i was dfed in march and have been trying to get reinstated for my family but now i cant take it anymore and am trying to be honest with them that i dont want it anymore! so wanted to ask you how you coped with it losing everyone?