Posts by luna2

70

What is your standing in a congregation if you're a man of 40 and never married?

by dgp in

on a different thread (http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/members/private/211210/3/my-life-well-the-first-part-at-least.

someone commented that.

as a sister especially you are nothing when not attached to you husband.. this made me curious.

luna2

I think unmarried brothers who reach the age of 40 are looked at with some suspicion and sometimes with envy by other brothers in the congregation. JWs are such homophobes that some are always looking for evidence that others might not be heterosexual. There are also those that think, due to the number of unmarried women in the congregations, that its a man's duty to marry and that he's shirking that duty by remaining single. There is envy that more of his free time is his own, so they often assign more duties for the single brother to handle.

One brother that I recall from my first congregation who was unmarried seemed to be expected to be available 24/7 because he didn't have a wife and children. I seem to recall that when his father (who lived about 60 miles away) got sick, he felt the need to step down as elder in order to take care of him.

Witnesses are nothing if not judgemental and jealous of each other. The more I think back, the more I wonder what was wrong with me that I got involved with them.

47

Wachtower says 97% of teens masturbate....is it realistic that 100% Witness teens don't?

by Witness 007 in

"young people ask" book admits 97% of youths masturbate...to put it into perspective, it's like saying 97% of the worlds population own a phone or a t.v!!

so is it realistic to believe these witnesses going thru puberty and teenage years won't on penalty of death?.

i always thought, if nearly 100% of teens do it isn't it normal?.

luna2

My boys were very young when we started going to the KH. I was shocked when one Sunday we had the masturbation talk. I didn't see how it would help anything to introduce the topic to young kids and get them curious about it. I didn't see how it would really help anybody stop doing it. I didn't understand how making people feel massive guilt was beneficial. I didn't see why, if it wasn't a disfellowshipping offense, the had to bring it up at all.

I agree that its a control issue. Anything they can do to mess up your mind and make you feel that you are lacking and, therefore, continue to need their guidance.

32

my strange neighbor

by jam in

a neighbor four doors south of me.

the night before our trash pick up he send his sons out (20-30 year old) with their trash and fill up the neighbors trash cans.

i was speechless when my next door neighbor told me this.

luna2

I hope you get this resolved. The jerk is, in effect, stealing.

I live in a townhouse complex where we used to have several dumpsters for the trash and another dumpster for cardboard and bottles. There was a man who used to come into the complex, go through the dumpsters and pull out the bottles...both in the regular dumpster and in the recycle dumpster. On the one hand, he was sort of doing a service by taking out a lot of the bottles that should have been put in the recycle dumpster. On the other hand, it was kind of creepy to have this guy going through the garbage.

They also had problems with people from outside the complex throwing their trash in the dumpsters we pay for. They solved it by issuing separate garbage cans to each unit. Its too much work for bottle guy to go through individual trash cans...also its more personal...so we don't see him any more. Still wouldn't stop some freeloader from coming into the complex and topping off a couple of cans, but I'd think that that would draw unwelcome attention, so I haven't heard that its a problem.

10

Why I was disfellowshipped

by truthseeker1969 in

in 1996 i was approached by elders asking me if i had at any time been inside a "gay bar' in the city center to which i replied "yes" since i had, i was renovating it on behalf of the brewery that owned it.. i advised them smugly that i go there daily and that i did not see a problem with it.

it was well known in town that it was closed for renovations and that no one other than contractors were in there.. i was told that there had to be a judicial meeting and was invited to attend which i did not and was given a note through my letter box stating that "the decision has been made to disfellowship you".

i kindly sent a letter telling them that the bar in question is not a "gay bar' since the bar is inanimate and therefor had no sexual orientation and that the bar was not a bar since it was gutted and therefor had no bar for it to be called a bar.. i further told them that the extent of my work was on behalf of the brewery who sublet the building to the landlord.. my work was to provide detailed interior redesign and nothing more.. therefor the judicial committee was formed in error based on assumption with no foundation and null and void.. oops, sorry please dont mention this to anyone was the reply, too late.. .

luna2

It was reading about experiences like this that finally cleared the cobwebs from my mind regarding Jehovah's Witnesses and their claims to being directed by Jehovah. Such a sad little club that destroys people just because it can.

33

They Came, They Said, They Left

by snowbird in

they came to the rural black belt county of wilcox in alabama, in the year 1970. hailing from exotic places such as new york, new jersey, connecticut, and massachusetts, they were bright, articulate, and persuasive.. they said the end was close, that the year 1975 would probably be the farthest limit for the current "system of things.

" some of us believed them and embraced their theology wholeheartedly.

we wrote letters of resignation to our respective churches and hit the highways and byways, hawking the wt message to stunned families and friends.. 1975 came and went - nothing.

luna2

I started studying around about 1985 and knew nothing of the 1975 debacle....until the sister I was studying with brought it up. I'm sure she did it to head off any criticism from my relatives, but since they didn't know specifics, there wasn't much they could argue with me. I just wish I'd done more research. I completely bought the "running ahead" excuse and the "cleansing of the congregation" excuse.

I read Terry's post about reality/truth vs unreality this morning....I was firmly rooted in fantasy for a long time. I didn't want to have to prove things or think too hard. I wanted someone to tell me that I was a good person and that "meek" people would be rewarded. I purposely closed my eyes to those things I didn't want to see. I often wonder if I would have been one of those who swallowed the WTS's explanations, accusations and excuses for the failed 1975 date.

For me the watershed was the big "generation" meaning change, and it took me a good long while after they changed the meaning of generation to finally realize what a fantasy it all was. There was always a certain amount of discomfort and pain involved with being a JW....and that's how I convinced myself that it was really real....but when the pain becomes constant, some do wake up.

37

I had my first encounter with JW's at my door! I was called an apostate!

by Desert Rat in

jw
friends

so, i am getting ready to move across the state.

we bought a home there, and have taken a couple of loads over, with the main move being this next week.

i went over this last week cause i wanted to paint the kitchen and dining room before we moved in (a lot easier to do without grandkids and dogs under foot).. anyway... here i am painting away when there is a knock on the door.

luna2

Well, the good thing about being labeled an apostate is that they won't come by any more. Of course, you are moving anyway, but keep it in mind if you get any door knockers at the new place. Its a good way to keep them away.

62

How To Leave Jehovah's Witnesses Easily and Painlessly

by Daniel Metz in

jw
friends

i have just thought of a way to leave jehovah's witnesses using information from the new shepherd the flock of god book.

it's quite simply: rebaptism.

here are the steps:.

luna2

Having some sort of "crisis" in your life...whether its a real crisis or a manufactured crisis in faith...does give opportunity for you to back out of the JWs. They feel okay about it because you are obviously troubled (and they don't really want to deal with that anyway...or at least most don't) and you get to remove yourself from any responsibilities and gradually stop going. This is what I did...although, I was truly struggling at the time and it wasn't a planned withdrawal, it was natural. I also wasn't married and had no family who were JWs, so it was pretty easy for me to fade out.

I'm not sure how well a carefully planned campaign would have worked. You'd have to be pretty careful not to say what you really think to anyone and you'd have to play lame duck for a fairly long period of time. You'd probably also have to endure elders wanting to pay you a visit from time to time too. I have one pioneer sister who still, after ten years of no involvement at all, leaves me notes and tracts.

I will say that leaving the way I did was pretty painless, but it also depends on the congregation too. Some like to purge their rolls of inactive ones every so often and will disfellowship in absentia just based on the fact that they can't contact you and you never go to meetings any more. I'm waiting for that myself. At this point, I don't care. Its not like anybody from the KH tries to talk to me anyway any more, so there's very little pain they can inflict.

8

'The Great Submission', Masculinity, and Future Elders

by metatron in

jw
friends

i will, in this post attempt to filter my thoughts thru the prism of political correctness and thereby cause no offense to anybody.

if i fail, i ask that the "jury disregard those comments" ( laughable if a judge says it because it underlines what was said).. since the watchtower allows nothing but ( a veneer) of male domination, it faces a bleak future because of the decline of masculinity in general society.

they abhor the idea of any 'sunday school' or more and so are not training young men to be fathers, husbands or just men generally.. i once went to a 'get together' - so called because the term 'party' might create offense - and noticed young brothers together with (hot) young sisters..................................................discussing shoes !!!!.

luna2

Some congregations hold to masculine domination more strictly than others. After moving away from the first congo I ever attended, where one prominent elder's wife held a lot of power (and there was much speculation that he was a gay man desperately living a straight life), at least one other sister rose up to challenge male rule there. She would whisper in the elders' ears, she would write notes and pass them to elders who were up on stage, she could make or break reputations....and they seemed to have no problem with it (at least that's what I heard). They would still posture and proclaim male superiority, but they certainly allowed these two women to act as unofficial elders.

In contrast, the congregation I started attending out east was very careful not to let women gain any authority. They went so far as to remove one pioneer sister from the lists because she was too aggressive and challenged the elders on several occasions.

It all seems to vary from congregation to congregation. Frankly, it seems that they ask the impossible of elders anyhow. These guys are supposed to make all the decisions and run the show, give all the talks, councel and discipline the wayward, set a good example in everything from field service to their family life and squash any females who try to step up to take on any authority...many extra hours of meetings and talks and duties and pressure with very little compensation.

18

A Typical Witnessing Letter from JW Family

by mummatron in

thought i'd share this as this is a typical example of the kind of letters i get very occasionally from my jw family.

in this instance it was sent as my daughter had spent some time in hospital.

note, very little information in terms of family news.

luna2

JW families do what all families do. They talk about what is important to them. If a part of the family doesn't believe the same way, they get preached to. My mother, who became sort of a born again something or other when she and my father moved to Texas 6 years ago, preaches to me about her faith. Its annoying, sad and funny all at the same time. Annoying because she persists as though I'm not an adult and as though I don't know my own mind; sad because...well, all that devotion to religion is such a waste of time; Funny because I finally see the light (about what a crock the WTS is) and my parents and sister become these goofy born-againers.

I guess its human nature to yap at our family members about what we believe in, whether we are Jehovah's Witnesses or athiests or Baptists. JWs are probably more persistant and noisy about it, but they aren't the only ones out there harrassing their families.

48

True Friendship Only Found In the Organization?

by What Now? in

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often times, i read in the magazines that only among jehovahs people will you find true friendship.

luna2

When I was a JW, I thought I had friends. They weren't. How can you have true friends when you know that if that person doesn't do exactly as the organization dictates, you will have to dump them? Everyone is expendable to Jehovah's Witnesses. People that I had known for 15 years seemed to easily cut me out of their lives when I stopped going to the KH.

The only friend I had as a dub who remains a friend to this day, is someone I met when we were both studying. We worked at the same place and started talking more to each other when we found out that we were both considering becoming JWs. We've stayed friends all throughout our JW years and beyond. We both began to find the JW life intolerable at about the same time, though we didn't discuss that with each other as we began our individual retreat from the borganization. We only tentatively began really talking about our disappointment with the WTS and Jehovah's Witnesses about ten years ago. I think we would have been friends no matter what religion we were...and that's a gift.

You don't have real friends in the organization. Not really. Everything is contingent on your standing within the congregation. How many talks are there that discuss being careful of your association...to the point of not associating with those considered weak. How does that encourage friendship? How is that "loving"?

Jehovah's Witnesses stiffle true friendship and encourage isolation and dishonesty. People are afraid to say what they really think and feel for fear of being shunned or turned in to the elders. Its very hard to cultivate true friendship under those conditions.