Why don't you try being friends first? Even if you have a crush on someone. Husband and I met in highschool, we were friends for about a year before we became involved. Though we both really had a crush on each other. Been married 20 years now, not too happy with him these days but...... carla
Posts by carla
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26
Head of the house? Who?
by upside/down ini have read in different threads, comments to the effect of married dub males as being despotic, tyrannical lords of their domain.
and i'm sure in many istances this is true.
i had never heard of men (family heads) referred to in such terms before i became a dub.
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carla
naw, Sith, just blowing some steam. We actually did have more of that kind of household. Not that he was 'lord' of his castle or anything. Just more traditional. We were more equals, had to be, we had a business together. But when it came to big decisions like what car, etc.. I would usually go along with him. My comment of the wife being the head was in reference to above comments that jw women are stronger personalities than maybe the wt likes to admit. Things in this household are just so different and it because he is not the same, doesn't think the same. carla
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Head of the house? Who?
by upside/down ini have read in different threads, comments to the effect of married dub males as being despotic, tyrannical lords of their domain.
and i'm sure in many istances this is true.
i had never heard of men (family heads) referred to in such terms before i became a dub.
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carla
You mean I get to run the household? great!
Never being jw perspective-- first of all, and some of you may take offense, sorry. Husband has only tried that a "head of the household" crap a few times. My reply? That comment from the bible is for Christians, as I do not consider jw's Christians in any sense of the word, it doesn't apply in this household. Furthermore, I believe to be "head of the household" , one must actually be home to be considered as such. He had that once upon a time, he threw that away. He had the Norman Rockwell life or the Leave it to Beaver life, he threw it away. That scripture can no longer be applied in this house!!! And for those of you who may say, who am I to pass judgement, I will ask- would you have the same opinion if this was a Satanic org? why not? Isn't it "freedom of religion, not passing judgement?" In my mind, the wt org is not that far off from any Satanic org. The Wiccans have more respect for life than the wt, as do Native American's. Which I believe both of the above would be labeled as "pagan".
The head of the "house" is the person who is actually there mentally and in body. That does not fit my jw husband. That only goes to show the "fruits" of the society in my mind. How could anyone belonging to one of the most insidious cults on the face of this planet be considered the head of anything?
carla
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How many married folks post here and your spouse does not know?
by xjwms ini got to thinking about this, and how many are here without telling anyone.. my active wife does not know i post here.
also, i have met some wonderful local people who are here, and you know who you are.. those who i met, i regard as friends, and very supportive.
given our backgrounds we understand each other.. is this a double life?
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carla
My husband knows I post 'somewhere'. At one time he wanted to meet 'these people'. That was on the other board. I decided not to introduce him because these boards are the only place where anyone knows what the heck I am even talking about! I think for awhile he was looking for me, but not anymore. We were arguing one day and he gets this real incredulous look on his face and says, "you sound like an apostate or something!!!! I literally had to bite my tongue from laughing. I felt like saying 'no sh** sherlock! He knows I have nearly exjw book on the market, reams of printouts etc... and he just figuring this out now?! Who knows, I may become very vocal when he gets baptised and goes door to door. The kids want to disown him if he does that. carla
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which would be better?
by carla inin following jaffacake's posts, a comment was made that when the guy gets baptised and the love bombing stops he may see things differently then.
my question is would it be better to do all you can to stop a baptism or don't worry about it because then the changes may seem extreme enough for the person to think, 'hey, i didn't sign up for this!'.
not that you can stop a baptism
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carla
In following Jaffacake's posts, a comment was made that when the guy gets baptised and the love bombing stops he may see things differently then. My question is would it be better to do all you can to stop a baptism or don't worry about it because then the changes may seem extreme enough for the person to think, 'hey, I didn't sign up for this!'. Not that you can stop a baptism
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GIVING A WITNESS THIS WEEKEND?
by Outaservice inhow many of you brothers and sisters in the united states will be going to the cementaries to hand out literature at the gravesites this year?.
this was always my favorite form of witnessing unless of course 'street witnessing'!.
outaservice
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carla
Are you kidding?!! They really do that? On Memorial Day?! have they no shame at all? This is as bad as them cruising the obituary pages. I guess nothing should suprise me anymore, but it still does. carla
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Had study with witness today
by jaffacake intoday was probably about our seventh meeting.
he never got a quarter way through his agenda because of my questions & digressions.
i kept an open mind on doctrines.
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carla
Excellent job Jaffacake! One other point on translation, I don't think they ever translated into another language themselves. I believe they let the other religions do it first then they could print the NWT. carla
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Paradise?
by carla inhow does the wt explain the 'new paradise earth' if your loved ones have now become 'birdseed'?
how could it be any kind of paradise if (in my case, we didn't know any jw's) everyone you ever knew or loved is now 'poofed out of existence'?
i guess one could ask the same question of the christian view of heaven.
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carla
How does the WT explain the 'new paradise earth' if your loved ones have now become 'birdseed'? How could it be any kind of paradise if (in my case, we didn't know any jw's) everyone you ever knew or loved is now 'poofed out of existence'? I guess one could ask the same question of the Christian view of heaven. How could it be heaven if everyone you knew & loved wasn't there? any thoughts? thanks, carla
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emotionless
by carla inis it normal for one who is a somewhat new convert to become emotionless?
maybe that's not quite the right word, but, husband just doesn't seem to care when there is a problem in the house with one of us.
he will just say things like, 'well, i'm sorry you feel that way' and nothing more!!!
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carla
The language barrier is getting to be a real problem as well. Just tonight the kids are complaining that dad said this but then said he didn't say it or it meant something else, not common language usage. Then he gets frustrated because we expect him to say what he means or be held responsible for what he says, at least most of the time. I understand we all say things we may not mean whole heartedly. But, if it doesn't have a grain of truth, people usually don't say it, just for the heck of it. I guess the main problem is that they and I remember the 'old him'. just more venting, thanks, carla
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emotionless
by carla inis it normal for one who is a somewhat new convert to become emotionless?
maybe that's not quite the right word, but, husband just doesn't seem to care when there is a problem in the house with one of us.
he will just say things like, 'well, i'm sorry you feel that way' and nothing more!!!
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carla
thanks kls, I know what's coming. still, you hold out for some hope, knowing there is none. How does that quote go? Forgetting is bad, remembering is worse. That just about sums up the past 20 years for me today. carla