Posts by carla

63

SECRECY, Pros and Cons...UBM's, I'm asking you

by jgnat in

"unbelieving mates" (ubm's), this is for you.

i'm compiling a tips sheet for brand-new ubm's to help them deal with the stresses and strains of being in a religiously mixed marriage.

help me out by giving me your experience, both good and bad, about secrecy.

carla

Are you open with your partner about your participation on this board? he knows I go on boards, but which one? he doesn't know or care. all exjw's are liars you know.
Do you hide your reference materials from your partner? no, but I no longer leave it all out either.
Have you had any close calls, and if so, describe them? met with some people from the hell, very unpleasant.
If you are secretive about your anti-JW activities, do you plan on coming clean with your partner at some time? someday I will, I suppose.
If you do plan on coming clean, when do you anticipate doing so? can't anticipate that at the moment, maybe if/when he leaves?
If your partner is aware of your anti-JW activity, how do they react? he doesn't exactly know, has some idea of something, no idea I have now 'hit' 300 homes with anti literature by myself.
Any stories to share? to new umb's - everybody will say 'don't freak out' , I say, 'now is the time to freak out', get your butt in gear and do whatever you can to show them the false prophecies, etc... if they will agree to meet with any ex jw or minister or cult experts- do it now! Do not think you can do this by yourself. You can't. This is to ubm's who know very little about the org. Also learn all you can, order C of C book yesterday and any other literature. Never, ever allow your children into the hall or alone with other jw's. I will say that losing your temper does not help anything. The loss of your relationship will have no real impact on the new jw, (suffering for jah and all) Get mad, it's better than despair. The loss is incredible. As I have said before it's like having to live with someone who broke up with you and has a new fling going on or something. There will be 'shades' of the old person and if you can draw out the old person as much as possible it will make life more pleasant. I have no ethical problems with 'arranging' things if at all possible on meeting nights or if things coming up feeling happy they are missing a meeting. The emotions of ubm's can range from despair, depression, rage, indifference, to how much longer?, moments of hope, moments of no hope, and anything in between all of those. I do feel a responsibility to let others know the damage this cult does. I wouldn't wish it on anybody.

Thanks!

33

Outright Lie in the Reasoning Book

by PaNiCAtTaCk in

under the topic "are jehovahs witnesses a sect or a cult?

the last sentence of the first paragraph says "they do not look to any human, but rather to jesus christ, as their leader.".

if an active witness were to make this exact statement to an elder, he or she would throw up a red flag!

They certainly are a cult. I think it is on your site where you infer that because 'cult experts' profit from what they do it somehow invalidates anything they have to say, yet I did notice the little $$$ signs in the corner of your site where you solicit funds as well. Do you see this as just a little bit hypocritical?

20

SCHIZOPHRENIA + JWS = ??

by lisaBObeesa in

i really am upset right now, and for a wide variety of reasons.

but number one on my list right now is my worry about my aunt.

my aunt is schizophrenic and obviously off her meds.

carla

You are right to be worried. Your father needs to be educated! And she needs her meds! I wish I knew how to tell you how to reach a jw about this or anything else but you know him, there must be some way. He needs to understand it is an illness. Best wishes, carla

33

Outright Lie in the Reasoning Book

by PaNiCAtTaCk in

under the topic "are jehovahs witnesses a sect or a cult?

the last sentence of the first paragraph says "they do not look to any human, but rather to jesus christ, as their leader.".

if an active witness were to make this exact statement to an elder, he or she would throw up a red flag!

carla

Do they mention the fact that they are not allowed to talk to 'their leader Jesus'?

30

Circumcision?

by jstalin in

does the wts have anything to say about circumcision?

is there an official doctrine?

carla

Naw, they just cut the whole damn mess off and be done with it.

23

FINALLY -- I get to move the H#LL out of here!!!!

by outnfree in

jw
friends

it's true!

as many of you know, i was divorced in may of this past year, but forced by financial circumstances to continue sharing the marital home with my ex-husband.

that situation alone is very stressful, but add to it my surgery/treatment for breast cancer and the fact that our house is still not on the market for sale (due to repairs that must be completed, but which i am unable to do and ex- doesn't care to do/take care of) was making me feeling like i was living in a holding tank instead of a home.

carla

I'm so happy for you! How difficult to have to live with your ex and be going through chemo! in my thoughts, carla

18

Does anyone find reading in here dpressing?

by klinton in

jw
friends

sorry to be a downer...but i'm just new here.

i've been scanning topics and reading people's various stories....and i have to say, a lot of what i'm seeing is just eating me up.

i've actually teared up a few times.

carla

Sometimes it is depressing. I remember about a two week period between this site and another there were two suicides, broken hearted people who were now going to be shunned by their entire families (acutally an ongoing theme), and a child sexual abuse case that had just come to light to a family and the various,"Help! my b/g or spouse is .... what should I do?" ( I fit in that category). All depressing stuff. Some have suggested I not read the sites as well. What? should we hide our heads in the sand and maybe it will all go away? Or read and see how others have dealt with situations and become educated on the many evils that can happen in this cult? And educate others. Sometimes there is no help for our loved ones, all we can do is try to keep others from suffering what others here have.

4

New Ex-JW Books to Check Out

by Cocoon in

(1) "out of the cocoon: a young woman's courageous flight from the grip of a religious cult" and (2) "have you seen my mother?".

i'm the author, brenda lee, of the first book and i just finished reading the latter book by bryan lee mcglothin (available at www.haveyouseenmymother.com ).

(bryan's book was very well written and thought provoking.

carla

I'm always glad to see new exjw books. I will be ordering mine soon. I just wish they would make the best sellers list so they could reach the mainstream public. Maybe I should donate to the public library? Anyone try this? What if a dub is working there?

16

My First "Birthday" party!

by tall penguin in

my former colleagues at the clinic i used to work at took me out for lunch today.

what i didn't know was that they'd arranged a "birthday" party for me.

although my birthday isn't until june they wanted to celebrate the 25 birthdays i've missed while a jw.

carla

How lovely! A very Happy Unbirthday to you, to you! ( that's from Alice in Wonderland you know, are jw kids allowed to read that?) I bet they had as much fun in planning this for you as you had!

14

Haunted Hall

by Virgogirl in

jw
friends

was it just me, or did anyone else experience unsettling, wierd vibes inside a kingdom hall?

it used to creep me out, it felt almost eerie and spooky inside.

sometimes we opened the doors on saturday afternoon to clean, and it was all dark and sinister inside when we entered, and it almost felt like something was in there, not good vibes, either.

carla

was there.