Posts by cat1759

11

Pictures of Wife's Graduation

by Undecided in

jw
friends

here are a couple of pictures at my wife's graduation.. .

http://www.strike9.com/file.aspx?path=%2fundecided%2ffullsize%2fmom's+graduation+007.jpg.

emily and me.

cat1759

Beautiful family.

Extraordinary Mom!

Thank you for sharing!

Cathy

21

New Illinois Sex Law - Its a Killer

by Amazing in

jw
friends

the governor of illinois just signed into law new legislation that says that anytime during sexual intercourse, if a woman (or man) says stop, then the other person must immediately stop ... or ... they can be charged with rape ... okay ... .

so, i can see it now ... a partner is reaching orgasm and the other person says ... stop ... yeah ... okay, that's the law in illinois ... .

oh, i understand the foundation of the law ... and i suppose it has its good purpose ... but ... .

cat1759

After intense learning on the subject it is better to say No right off than wait. NO means no. No means no you cant kiss me, no means no holding my hand, no means you are not getting any part of me. I am not going to wait until you are on top of me to say NO. As I learned the hard way. On the other hand if I have given my ok to start I do intend to finish or at least let him finish. There has to be some responsiblity somewhere. After penetration you have already made the decision it is ok, it is almost done. Rape on the other hand is a different ballgame all together. I don't put myself in situations where the possibilty exists. I always have backup. So I don't have to worry about saying NO as it is hard to do.

Donkey forgot that one.

Funkyderek love your reasoning. Just a few more seconds dear, almost done.

Cathy

14

Good Comebacks!

by UpAndAtom in

jw
friends

i've got a great one line comeback that i would like to share... and was wondering if there are any other short but sweet ones to battle the rhetoric.. background:.

my dub brother mentions that my sponsoring of children in 3rd world countries doesn't really save their soul, as only spiritual food can truely save them.

to which i then reply,.

cat1759

The end is coming!

Thank god I need a break!

Cathy

16

JWs and Persecution - Am I Missing Something?

by Stephanus in

jw
friends

from p19 of the june 15, 2003 'tower: .

not sure about what they're saying here - it's not like this "opposition" (presumably the unamused expression on the householder's face) can't be placed at these ladies' own feet - after all, they are the ones who are ganging up, two to one, on a householder's own doorstep at a time obviously inconvenient to her to give her a message she's obviously not receptive to.

are the dubs really getting that sensitive in their old age?

cat1759

Isn't it persecution when a witness comes to your door and you are trying to make a baby? They are taking you away from your pleasure to share the end of the world viewpoint.

Love the picture. That is how I look when I go to the door, although not dressed like this woman.

Cathy

21

New Illinois Sex Law - Its a Killer

by Amazing in

jw
friends

the governor of illinois just signed into law new legislation that says that anytime during sexual intercourse, if a woman (or man) says stop, then the other person must immediately stop ... or ... they can be charged with rape ... okay ... .

so, i can see it now ... a partner is reaching orgasm and the other person says ... stop ... yeah ... okay, that's the law in illinois ... .

oh, i understand the foundation of the law ... and i suppose it has its good purpose ... but ... .

cat1759

No should be said up front. Screaming at the jerk should be done up front. Waiting until both of you have your pants around your ankles and all of a sudden you decide or he decides no, seems wrong. Although there was one time where I saw what he had and didnt figure it would fit I used the next line.

Just tell him you need to get birth control because you could get pregnant seems to be the way to go then run out of his house so fast he won't know what hit him and never by all means never go out with him again.

For those of you who do say no and he doesnt listen, carry hairspray, works like a charm everytime, as my mace was confiscated by the state police as I didn't know I needed a gun permit to carry that.

Cathy

4

So Are You A Part Of The World Now, Then?

by Englishman in

jw
friends

i was just musing over what turned out to be a very happy time in my life.

it was christmas, 1973, several weeks after i had been df'd by the leigh park congregation in portsmouth.. i'd taken to attending folk concerts, tom paxton occasionally, but mainly the raucous "wild rover" stuff that was being hiked around at the time by the likes of noel murphy and john fitzgerald.

there was a folk club each sunday at the coral reef bar on south parade pier (that's the one that got burned down during the filming of "tommy").

cat1759

Your words it is after all where we belong.

You are right! We were born into this world and we leave this world.

I will be a bigger part when I can fight for what I truly believe.

The computer doesn't do it for me.

I am part of the world and I am able to make decisions based in reality not from idealization.

Big change.

Cathy

31

What if JWs had never been part of your life......?

by Scully in

jw
friends

prisca's topic about personal responsibility vs blaming the jws (http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/56286/824979/post.ashx#824979) got me to thinking..... where do you think you'd be if the jws and the wts had never been part of your life?how would your life be different from what it is now?what do you think you might have accomplished or done differently without the encumberances of the jws in your life?what kind of relationship would you have with your family?who would you be?.

there are no right or wrong answers, but think about those what-i-want-to-be-when-i-grow-up ideas you had as children and whether those dreams could have become a reality.. .

love, scully

cat1759

Greven I understand now why I am like I am. It only took my parents three months after my sister was born to concieve me...no perfection there.

I would never have had any children. I didn't want children. I would be working in the computer industry as that was a great love of mine as they were new back then. I would have a house on the ocean whereby I could dangle my feet off the dock after a hard day with a martini in my hand. I would never have been married as I saw no need to have a relationship. That in part was due to walking on eggshells all my life with my parents. Never knowing when the axe was going to fall.

I would have lived a very selfish, unknowing life of what love really is and how deep it flows. I just wanted to have peace at all costs. Not come home to a man that nags worse than my mother. I wanted to be free.

Am I better off for the experiences being raised as a jws. Yes. No matter how bad things were I learned to not be so selfish in my life. I learned to give love. I also learned to trust who I am. Well still working on the last one.

I have found out that children are the greatest gift this life has to offer and I would have missed out on all the learning and experiences I have had with them. So maybe we really are where we need to be.

Cathy

41

People are People

by minimus in

jw
friends

the more i read the board , the more i come to appreciate that people are always going to be who they are.

those that complained in the past will always be complainers today.

those that didn't have a clue about life while witnesses are probably still going to be clueless as exes.

cat1759

Minimus and everyone,

I think that we are born with tendencies precipitated by religion and our parents. I think there comes a point in life where we either change or get left behind. We hang on to the allusive dream because it is all we know. We hang on to some form of idealization because we refuse to see reality around us. Sometimes we actually do change because we have to, not because we want to. It is when we start to open up and look around out of ourselves and our own little worlds we realize that if we do certain things we can change our own reality and live our dreams that before were squandered on faith or preconceptions of what our parents wanted.

If we refuse to come to terms with the life we had and what is real today we then find ourselves in a rut of drugs, alcohol, and of course i smoke cigarettes to offset my own reality. I have changed but I have changed back to the little girl I used to be instead of the hard ass I was. I have come back to my dreams in life with the experiences of hard work and knowledge to change my dreams into something more tangible.

Dr. Bradshaw's book was excellent. I have only read two of them. I feel we all do change even if we don't show it on the outside. Nothing ever stays stagnant for long.

Cathy

39

How Much is Personal Responsibility vs WTS' Fault?

by Prisca in

jw
friends

the current discussion of an ex-gb member has prompted me to ponder this question:.

just how much of our personal circumstances can/do we take responsibility for, and how much do we blame the wts?

you may have grown up as a jw, coerced into leaving early to pioneer, not go to university, have no kids, even stay single for the pursuit of singleness in the kingdom work to pioneer or go to bethel.

cat1759

Such heartfelt words from all of you.

Here it is in black and white. I didn't know what a college was growing up. I was taken out of tenth grade to go to where the need was great and told that the end is coming and we have to preach. The year 1975. My parents good bad or indifferent believed every word out of the borgs mouth. So we preached and preached. Then I got married, had four kids to realize that I needed a job that preaching was not going to provide for my kids. Well go into the world after all these years and guess what, you don't have a high school diploma. Your parents never thought you would need it. Turned down by many jobs. I finally ended up delivery newspapers to stores at night when my kids slept. During the day I would do colllections and billing. Working 15hrs day. Manual labor. Hey sling a couple hundred bundles of newspaper on your shoulders for 8hrs of the 15 and see what you feel like coming home to four kids all because you were told the end was coming and preaching was what you had to do.

I along with many others believed in the all allusive Neptune dream. I later went and recieved my GED, then started college. I am still working towards a business degree ten years later I am one semester shy of the degree. I got hurt at work so for the last three years have been sitting it out.

The end was coming. There was no life out of the borg! Do I blame anyone? No, I blame myself for beleiving in a dream that with any sane mind I could have figured out it was pure deception.

Now as far as blame, the WTBS has a huge burden. They have ignored the pleas of the flock, the children. They have handed out death sentences like it was candy. They should have to pay for all the therapy it is going to take those people in order to live a happy healthy god given life.

Yesterday the new Arch bishop of Boston came live on tv and apologized for the sexual abuse that was heaped on it's children. They are at least taking responsibilty even if it is in words only. In my book apologies go further than anything. Maybe it is time the society stands up like the man that they are suppose to be an starts to apologize for what they have heaped on their flock. We all know they won't as they are not humble enough to admit they were wrong. No, they will keep spewing out "new light", god given candy and not even bother with making excuses for their sins. Where is the humility in this?

My ex was given scholarships to medical schools because his mom worked for a dr and the dr wanted him to practice along side him. My ex actually does have brains but he was not allowed to take those scholarships as the end was coming. Instead he sits now years later in drug induced relaxation. No one is to blame for taking all that away from this man. He did what he was told to do. He can not find his way out of a paper bag. How sad to have choices now, years later and throw them all away because inside he is filled with guilt because he feels that the end is coming and he is not worthy. Gee can't imagine where the thinking for this came from.

Cathy

Still in therapy, still working out my own issues. Hope someday that I can be a responsible adult in spite of my past.

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