homesteader

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Posts by homesteader

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  51

  Chemo begins today

  by outnfree in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so, i've been sitting at the computer all night long, not really panicked, but definitely disturbed at the thought of what the months to come will entail.. the port-a-cath was "installed" (surgically) on monday, and that was tough.

  somehow the lumpectomy last month and even finding out that there was lymph node involvement was okay.

  scary, but okay.

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  homesteader

  outnfree,

  you are in my thoughts and prayers. by all the replys here it doesn't sound like you are alone!!!!!!!!!
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  46

  Need clarification on communication with a disfellowshipped person

  by jostes in

  1. social
  2. family

  was wondering the clarification of a relationship someone can have with their mother if they have been disfellowshipped and the daughter is in good standing with the congregation?

  the daughter was baptised after the disfellowship.

  does this mean the daughter is not to have a relationship with the mother.

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  homesteader

  They can do what ever they want as the are responsible adults in society. What are the consequences for the daughter to have a relationship with her mom? I wouldn't feed into telling the daughter what JW's say she can do. Help her think for herself. What does she want to do? Nice of you to want to help.
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  33

  How do you feel, relieved or sad?

  by jula71 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  ive been doing a bunch of reflecting and pondering> im just seeing if anyone else has been feeling this and/or if its common.

  relieved that i have a new found freedom, free to pursue goals and dreams i never could as a dub.

  free from the guilt, always feeling god is watching waiting from me to screw up so he can erase my name from the book of life.

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  homesteader

  I understand your bittersweet feelings. I definitely feel relieved not living under such pressure to measure up to such high standards. I felt sadness at the loss of some good friends, but have so many more wonderful people have come into my life. I try not to look back too much. You might feel a little more sadness than some of us because it's an end to your childhood dreams and fairy tales. I've found that paradise is right here and now. Life is your perception. I'm 40 something and living all of my dreams and feel fufilled.
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  47

  Is College now wrong for Jehovah's Witnesses again?

  by booker-t in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have been out of the jw's for many years now but i still have devout jw's family members.

  and i am attending college now at 40 yrs old working on my ba degree.

  i was so happy a few years ago when my jw mom told me that the wt is slacking off on telling jw's teenagers that college is bad and it is ok to attend college and universities.

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  homesteader

  i could never understand jw's going to physicians, lawyers and other professionals yet not encouraging higher education. so many gifted minds going to waste.
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  54

  There were some good things about the organisation...

  by Do I Stand Alone? in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have read a number of experiences in this discussion forum and quite frankly, i would have to agree that many, if not all, were pretty terrible experiences if not all together traumatic.

  i know that my personal 9-11 tragedy resulted in finding out that the watchtower society was involved with the united nations.

  that pretty much said it all as far as my "career" in the organisation was concerned.

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  homesteader

  my observation of your post is that you should of raised this question without trying to promote your business. also you are stretching the good things about the organization. the public speaking skills are nothing compared to toastmasters and although i wasted a lot of time out in service i am by no means a sales person...in fact i hate selling things. i didn't become a jw until i was 20 so must take responsiblity for what i got my self into. in retrospect i don't have any ill feelings towards jw's because it was where i needed to be at that time in my life. it did help me to quit smoking, drink in a more responsible way, give up an immoral lifestyle. my children were exposed to literacy and reading at an early age. i think i gave a little too much credit to jw's for everything because after i left the org and met my husband he accepted christ, quit drinking, quit smoking and also gave up an immoral lifestyle. my husband and i have both been through some rough times and neither of us regret what we've been through or done as it's made us the people we are.

  as a child i lived in an orphanage (Mooseheart) and for many years couldn't see one good thing that came out of it at the expense of my lost childhood. my anger has passed and although i don't feel appreciative of the place or the the Moose Organization, I don't feel angry either. I try to look at the positive points and there is always something postive to focus on but i do believe one has to work through the anger first. it's interesting that they have a message board and when i showed up as the antagonist many weren't happy that i questioned their 'happy child city" memories. the board was quite interesting for a time with different viewpoints but now has settled down and has very few posts.

  thanks to the folks who exposed the business as amway....been there, done that.
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  13

  Life was a game of make pretend!!!

  by Tez in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  when did i discover this?

  i was brought up by an alcoholic mother and step father, life was miserable, told never to tell what was going on to other family members.

  my elder siblings left home as soon as they could to marry.

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  homesteader

  hi tez,

  thanks for sharing your story. it is verysimiliar to mine. i was from and alcholic family, married a guy at 17 to get away from family, became a jw at 20, had four children and tried hard to be a good jw. when the two older kids were df'd in their late teens after being baptized at 12 &13 i couldn't abandon them either. especially because they had such valid points about jw's. i left the org. and my immature husband and i divorced. i remarried a wonderful man and am now living happyily ever after and am not pretending. we have our problems, but have coping skills. you don't have anything to feel guilty about!!!! you did your best and as a previous post said it's a system that is set up for failure. i don't regret the 20 some years as a jw because it contributed to the person i am and that's someone i love unconditionally. i learned a lot while being a jw, met some wonderful people and it kept me out of trouble for a time. take care and keep in touch. how neat to have your son sharing on the board also.
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  22

  I need some help. How do you deal with your JW family

  by Apostanator in

  1. social
  2. family

  my whole family is in the troof.

  i am at a point were i want to present them a book on cults.

  i have nothing to lose as they have dis-owned me for years and have only recently came back into my life as a result of my moms illness ( alzeimers ) these people are driving me nuts!!!

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  homesteader

  sorry to hear what you are going through. it must be tough for you. i know when i have any contact with jw's i experience JW Post Traumatic Stress. Maybe you should tell them that the only reason you are there is for your mother and if something happens to you they will never hear from you again. i would definetly set up some boundaries for myself however possible. good thing you are seeing a therapist. hang in there!!
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  7

  I felt more love tonight than at memorial service...

  by jaffacake in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i was brought up a catholic, then learned as a baptised adventist in my teens that the pope was the anti-christ, and that only we were the one true remnant church etc.

  the adventists did have true christian love, even if they were somewhat misguided.

  when i drifted away from religion, i still refused to marry in my wife's catholic church.

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  homesteader

  i sent my son to a catholic school after being one of jw's. i found the school to be so postive and upbuilding. he didn't like mass and some of the rituals but thrived in a controlled enviroment. i was impressed with the school's vision and the staff's thoughtful prayers. he just graduated from high school and did well. thanks for sharing your story. best wishes with your daughter's education.
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  27

  We are NOT appostate

  by jimakazi in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  not to rain on the collective parade but what makes people here think they are appostate?

  most of us have come to a rational conclusion that the jw / wtb is directed by a bunch of old men not directed by the holy spirit, is fallable, and cynically changes doctrine.

  so to be against that is not to be appostate.

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  homesteader

  so then...apostate is another of their cult word that doesn't ring true along with "the truth," brothers and sisters" (are they really your brothers and sisters?) the paradise earth, great crowd, etc. etc. etc. we broke the code and got out!
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  18

  feelings of hopelessness for wife and I. Any video or book recommendations

  by PaNiCAtTaCk in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  ive read coc and isocf and they destroyed my faith in the society and faith in man.

  ive officially gone inactive in the last 2 months.

  ive had several email conversations with ray franz that have also made me more convinced that i could never be an active jw again.

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  homesteader

  sorry to hear about the loss that you and your family are going through. this is a big loss, i would say comparable to someone dying. take time to grieve and heal. sounds like your mother is doing her best to support and understand. one of your purposes is to be a loving husband and father to your wife and son, to guide, provide for and protect them. sounds like you are already doing that by protecting them from an organization that is harmful because of it's deciet and lies. another purpose at this time is to get out of heal the wounds of the org. only then will you be able to see further purpose in life and that takes time. i've read The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren and found it very helpful. The first section of the book is excellent, but halfway through it does push belonging to a religion, not something i feel comfortable with and don't think you will be ready for in the near future. instead of 40 days it took me one year to read and process. when i read his thoughts about belonging to a church I tried not to judge what he says, but yet affirmed myself that it wasn't for me at this time in my life.

  give your wife time and space to heal in her own way. try to share what you are feeling as best you can. sometimes, just an "I'm sorry your feeling angry, lost, forlorn, hopeless" can help. Not that you are responsible for those feelings nor need to fix them, it's just a way to acknowledge her feelings. Maybe you can think of some interests that you set aside for the organization that you can begin doing together. Enjoy the life God has given you and have some fun together as a family. Run, play, swim, laugh, hike, shop, go out to dinner, the library, movies, the zoo. Everywhere you go look at the postive in people, situations, say hello to people, introduce yourself and smile. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.