Noname, thank you for posting that. I shunned my friends when I was in (although I would greet them in town if no witnesses were around).I feel terrible now. I never know it affected people like that.
I always thought it was just some kind game we all played. We all knew the rules, we knew it wasnt pesonal, and the D'fed person was just playing the game like I was.
I've thought about getting to the meeting just after the opening song and leaving as soon as the Amen comes. But i have to consider my wife.
I would say she isnt considering you. It seems to me that she is using the situation to punish you (shes playing the game too, but the rules are in her favour - she can beat you up emotionally three times a week while pretending shes just doing what shes supposed to, and shes got the umpires backing).
I know shes using the situation against you because its EXACTLY what I would do if I were a faithful wife in her situation. Boy, id make you pay every goddam day of your lousy rotten sinning life with me. Especially if I were able to get off on the symapthy vote for being such a faithful wife. Now think - can you bear the rest of your life like that?
The only good I can see out of this is that your kids will be thinking something about it, and given childrens complete faithfulness to their parents they will be forming opinions that make them wonder why people are treating their daddy like this. As they grow older they will definately see that this situation is out of order.
(although I do worry about the lesson being reinforced that 'daddy did something wrong so everyone ignores him'. It might make them feel insecure about the consequences of their own natural childish behaviour).