If you like Cold Play/Oasis style music listen to my son's stuff on myspace.com/markwilks its not everyone's taste but I am very proud of him. He writes his own lyrics and I can see how his upbringing as a JW has influenced some of his songs.
Posts by Tez
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3Have a listen...
by Tez inif you like cold play/oasis style music listen to my son's stuff on myspace.com/markwilks its not everyone's taste but i am very proud of him.
he writes his own lyrics and i can see how his upbringing as a jw has influenced some of his songs.
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Ex-JW's Pioneers Help! What can I tell my 75 year old mom who "fs" in rain?
by booker-t ini have tried talking to my "devout" jw mom until i am blue in the face and she just won't budge.
but now i am really worried to death for her.
the other day she told me that she was going on return visits with another pioneer sister who is in her early 40's and much, much younger than my mom.
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Tez
I remember an elderly sister who thought she was one of the remnant. I had been going in to keep an eye on her as she was ill and very frail. One day I was driving past her house on a cold windy day and she was standing at her gate. I stopped and asked her what she was doing, she said she had to do the 'Lords work' in whatever way she could, so she was waiting for folk who passed her house in the hope she could witness to them, there was no telling her she shouldn't be doing it! The thing is the brain washing goes deep, folk are convinced it is what they should be doing. I agree with the others that say a quiet word in the sisters ear just reminding her of your mother's health, but your mum is probably chuffed to bits to be being used in this way and it is a way of doing her ministry that means she isn't just traipsing around streets calling on not at homes.
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Did You Do Business With JWs Thinking They Would Obviously Be More Honest?
by minimus ini know many people did business with me because i was an elder and had to be honest.
i never cheated anybody anyway because it's simply not right but i know a lot of witnesses that were "screwed" by other witnesses......what about you??
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Tez
Well this question certainly brought back memories!! very bad ones!! My ex hubby worked for JW's, 3 elders who were in business together, all serving the same congregation. My ex uncovered some misdemeanours of one of the elders of this company and our life then became so miserable!! He confronted the elder, was sacked! then given his job back, then had to appear before a kangaroo court, which included the circuit overseer (of which he had no warning, just turned up at the hall and there they all were). During this time staying with the JW's was like trying to hang on to a greasy pole, oh how I wished I could just name and shame. This situation went on for several years and uncovered many skeletons, but do you know what? This elder seemed to be a lovely man, brilliant speaker on the platform, gentle and kind in everything except his business dealings!!
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Why does it take so long for lurkers to join ?
by moomanchu inhow long did you lurk before joining ?and why?.
it took me about a year before joining and posting.. i can sum up my reason in one word,.
fear .
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Tez
It didn't take me long once my son told me about this site, but I don't visit that often now, partly because of not having as much time as I did originally but also there is still a fear.... not so much of what I have and am still learning, but its a fear of ever letting anything get the same hold on me ever again. As ex JW's we receive a lot of information on this site, but also a diversity of opinions too, having been easily conned in the past I think I am vulnerable to suggestions, I suppose I consider myself a weak person in this regard so its easier to put the blinkers on and just get on with the life I am living now. I am so much happier now than I have ever been, the shackles have been lifted, I cannot deny that I miss some sort of spirituality in my life but once bitten twice shy as they say!!! I don't feel I have the strength, mental, emotional or physical, anymore to make any major decisions in this regard, but I do still visit this site because it helps me enormously and for that I am grateful to all who post on here.
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Tez
Kwint!! how dare you say Scotland is horrible, it is one of the most beautiful places on earth - Gods Country!! Recently moved here so very biased as you can tell as for no assembly halls well good for Scotland!
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Question re Jehovah's view on marriage
by Tez inhave there always been marriage ceremonies to legalise marriage?
don't remember any really early accounts of this.
also how about today?
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Tez
Have there always been marriage ceremonies to legalise marriage? Don't remember any really early accounts of this. Also how about today? Is a legal ceremony really necessary top be pleasing to God, as it is accepted by most governments nowadays that if a couple live together they can be regarded as 'common law' spouses after a certain period of time.
Even as I am writing this I am pondering on different ways of answering this so be interested to see your replies.
Tez
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Question re Mary.
by Tez inwell it started with one and sort of developed from there.. firstly, mary was a virgin when she miraculously conceived jesus, so does that mean then that he was illegetimate, and if so then why did jehovah not simply allow her to marry joseph, send an angel to joseph to advise him to abstain from sexual intercourse until after the birth of jesus?
after all joseph was the only one who could testify at that time that mary was a virgin, he could have easily have done that even if they had been married.
the fact that she was a virgin would not have been obvious until the birth when it could be proved that her hymen was intact.
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Tez
Well it started with one and sort of developed from there.. Firstly, Mary was a virgin when she miraculously conceived Jesus, so does that mean then that he was illegetimate, and if so then why did Jehovah not simply allow her to marry Joseph, send an angel to Joseph to advise him to abstain from sexual intercourse until after the birth of Jesus? After all Joseph was the only one who could testify at that time that Mary was a virgin, he could have easily have done that even if they had been married. The fact that she was a virgin would not have been obvious until the birth when it could be proved that her hymen was intact. Jehovah is supposed to highly esteem the sanctity of marriage so why did he go about the birth of his most precious son in this manner? Think I will start another topic with regard to my next question. Be interested in hearing your comments on this.
Thanks
Tez
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How many people do you 'witness' to?
by cyberdyne systems 101 ini find these days that i'm talking to so many people about being a jw and why i am not one now, and in a sense 'giving a witness' as they would term it - only from my point of view its to say why they should avoid it.
i always say to people to ask any witnesses who call on them to ask how the animals managed to cross over the continents after the flood?
like how did the kangaroo's get back to aus?.
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Tez
I'll talk to anyone who wants to listen but still find the mention of JW's often gets the response of an uncomfortable silence!!! I talk to my partner about it a lot, he thinks its a load of hogwash!! and doesn't mind saying so but he still occasionally asks questions.
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Name the good things that Jw's have or believe....
by AK - Jeff inwe always seem to get focused on the bad - and there is plenty of it for sure - and anyone who follows my posts knows i am no wt apologist by any stretch.
but focusing on the postive is a good thing in the 'moving on' process i think too.
what do you think jw's had right?.
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Tez
I have a wonderful family who I feel had a good balanced upbringing, partly due to the morals adopted when we became JW's, before that I was floundering with all the advice the world gives to would be parents. My knowledge of the bible exceeds that of most people I know in the world, albeit that some of that knowledge is not accurate I now have more understanding of what God wants of people. My fear of people went totally, I surprise my partner now in that I will happily talk to strangers, something he is very wary of. Although 3 of my children left they do not resent me for the uprbringing they had and I Iove them for that after reading some of the bitter experiences some have had. My 4th child is a very active JW at the moment. I hope in time he will see the 'real' truth, but in the meantime I cannot knock him for trying to do what it right, after all it is what I taught him for years and once upon a time I would have wanted him to be a pionneer. Its what he is doing and I know it is not an easy option at 18 years of age and he will run into difficulties eventually (didn't we all) but I wait patiently in the hope that one day I will be able to have a good relationship with him. Since leaving I have more appreciation in the Lord Jesus, having always felt his contribution to our existence was undervalued. I always hoped there would be a positive hope for this world and loved the idea of a paradise earth in the future, suppose its a hope I hang on to whether I will be there or not. Unlike some I could never visualise myself being bored in such a paradise, creation fascinates me and there is so much I wish I had time to learn. So all in all my time as a JW has never been resented and I wish more felt the same and it saddens me to hear some of the trauma JWism has caused so many folk on here. I pray that they will be able to move on and receive peace.
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Do you think it`s hard to have a relationship after you leave?
by dido ini have been out for 4 years now, and find it hard to meet someone who i find is compatible.
one of the reasons being is that they haven`t experienced what it is like to come out of a cult, and i find there is a void there.
does anyone else feel like this?
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Tez
Well I have to say it was easier for me than I ever thought possible. My daughter educated me in the use of the internet to find friends. That was what I was looking for, actually female friends, and was a wee bit scared, but I found some really genuine people!! I had always thought it would be a dangerous enterprise meeting people via the internet. True you have to be careful, but in this world today you have to be careful everywhere. Initially we would chat via emails, a bit online, then via telephone. This was how I met my soul mate and I have never regretted one second of it! He has never been a JW, but encourages me to be 'myself', something I had never done, from an early age I was always a 'people pleaser'. Having been married to a JW for 30 years I have now been liberated from all that stifled me. I truly feel loved, cherished and protected more than I have ever done in my whole life, and I feel less guilty as time goes on. Yes having been a JW is hard for folk to understand, but everyone has a 'history' of some sort, so we all have to adapt and try to understand each other. If you find a genuine friend they will give you the time to talk things through and will do their best to support you, that is what we are all seeking, that sort of friend irrespective of whether it develops into a relationship. I am just so happy that mine did, but I would have been content at the time to find new friends. Hope you find someone who will make you as happy as I now am... keep on searching!!