I'm not at this stage of life yet, but I can imagine what it feels like. I'm happy that you have children that you care about so much! "You are the wind beneath their wings". Even though your relationship with them is changing, you will always be their mom.
DiscoSandy
JoinedPosts by DiscoSandy
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21
Help me with my "empty nest" moment!
by changeling inmy daughter is married and lives in another state.
i miss her but i'm happy for her and have long ago adjusted to this situation.
we have a wonderful relashionship and talk almost daily on the phone and see each other about every 6 to 8 weeks.. my son is in college about 45 minutes from home.
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Being shunned by JW's who you know have done worse than you
by milligal inokay-here's one i was thinking about the other day-after reading some of your posts.
have you ever been shunned by a jw who you know was doing (or had done) some really devious things?
for instance when i was df'd the first person to give me the five minute long evil eye at the grocery store was a sister who had five children by two different fathers and a sixth child who was molotto (she was white) and she insisted that she had no idea why he came out so dark skinned.....she was never df'd.
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DiscoSandy
It stinks! Especially when the JW's who shun you are relatives, who have done MANY worse things than you. I will never be able to make any sense of it.
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No Emotion at Funerals
by DiscoSandy ini was a chaperone for my daughter's out-of-town volleyball tournament last weekend - got to meet another mom that had grown up in the same area i grew up in.
she proceeded to ask about my childhood, etc.
and i had to spill the beans on my jw background (i usually keep this to myself!
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DiscoSandy
I was a chaperone for my daughter's out-of-town volleyball tournament last weekend - got to meet another mom that had grown up in the same area I grew up in. She proceeded to ask about my childhood, etc. and I had to spill the beans on my JW background (I usually keep this to myself!) Anyway, she mentioned it was funny I should talk about this, she had just been to a J.W. funeral for a casual acquaintance of her hers that had passed away. She noticed at the funeral that SHE WAS THE ONLY ONE CRYING! She couldn't believe that nobody else even so much as shed a single tear for the dearly departed - she was truly astounded!
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My favorite uncle passed away
by DiscoSandy inhi everyone - i don't post here often, but i need some help.
i just received a letter from my (jw) parents, informing me that my (jw) uncle has passed away.
he was my favorite uncle who could always make me laugh.
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DiscoSandy
Thanks everyone for your kind wishes. It means more than you will ever know. It's hard for me to ask for help/advice - I always try to tough it out - but this time around, I really needed to hear from someone. Each of your responses touched my heart and gave me some great insight.
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My favorite uncle passed away
by DiscoSandy inhi everyone - i don't post here often, but i need some help.
i just received a letter from my (jw) parents, informing me that my (jw) uncle has passed away.
he was my favorite uncle who could always make me laugh.
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DiscoSandy
Hi everyone - I don't post here often, but I need some help. I just received a letter from my (JW) parents, informing me that my (JW) uncle has passed away. He was my favorite uncle who could always make me laugh. I have great memories from my childhood of spending time with him and his wife (who passed away a few years ago). I'm married with 3 kids - my husband and kids have never been JWs. . . My parents have informed me in writing that our family can attend the funeral, but since I am disfellowshiped, nobody will talk to me there. (They will, however, talk to my husband and kids.) I was specifically told that I cannot share any memories of my uncle at the funeral. So basically, I can show up and pretend like I'm invisible and keep my mouth shut. I have decided that I'm not going to push the issue - I will not be attending the funeral with my family. I do not want my kids to see me being shunned - I don't think it's healthy for any of us to experience that . . .Instead, I will write down some of my memories of my uncle so that I can hold on to them and share them with my kids. What hurts me the most in all of this is that my children (and husband) have never been able to feel like they're part of a true extended family. Everyone on my side of the family are JWs. I have this constant feeling of guilt that I haven't been able to give my husband and kids an extended family. How do I get over that feeling? ? ? Thanks for listening.
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JW's Raised In - Did you get bullied during you Grade School Years?
by BBOARD indue to the way i was raised a jw i constantly felt guilt for trying to act like the other guys and it made me stand out even worse.
to this day, due to this, i nowdays become somewhat physically ill whenever i hear a brother give a talk where he says (many here have heard it in different forms) "if jehovah was looking at you youths in the congregation during school could he tell the difference between you and a worldy person.
" myself and most of the other jw guys during middle school and high school did not have the confidence or the "rough and ready to fight" type of body language so we tended to get picked on.
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DiscoSandy
YES in grade school and on into high school. Reasons for being bullied were probably 50% being a J.W. and 50% being a geek (overweight with glasses and really bad haircuts!) After I was disfellowshipped, I started going to college and was surprised that NOBODY bullied me in that environment, and I was able to make LOTS of friends. It was like a huge burden was lifted off me and I could just be myself. I really felt like I was reborn in those years.
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What about your JW past are you thankful for?
by nvrgnbk inin the interest of self-healing and finding the peace that comes from being grateful, can you think of anything at all that was positive about having been one of jehovah's witnesses?.
not to be misunderstood with missing something about it, is there something about the experience that has enriched you?.
to answer the question myself, being forced to face the fallacies of the teachings of jwism, i was also prompted to look past those teachings and reevaluate everything i believed in.. that experience was frightening and unsettling, but i'm thankful for it.. i now have a greater appreciation for life in all its wonder than i did when i took it for granted as one of jehovah's witnesses.. i'm more determined now to find meaning in this life, after having lived for so long for a future that was never to arrive..
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DiscoSandy
I'm thankful for the handful of great friends that I had. Unfortunately I haven't seen or spoken to them in over 25 years, and have no idea if they are "in" or "out". But I often think of the great memories we had together just hanging out and having fun. I actually liked going to the assemblies, for the most part. It was a way to get out of the smallish town that I grew up in, meet people from other places, and stay in hotels with swimming pools. The public speaking experience was good - it's pretty easy for me to give presentations and talk to other people about just about anything.
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How Would You Handle Your Daughter Dating A Different Ethnic Person?
by minimus ini know of someone who's daughter is dating a young man from the bahamas.
the girl is 20 and he's 24 and was already married to an australian woman 10 years older than him.
he has no use for his crack addicted mother and he tolerates his younger sister that seems to be on the same course as her mommy.
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DiscoSandy
I married a guy from another ethnic group 23 years ago. He's wonderful and I can't imagine being married to anyone else. I will support my daughter dating anyone from the human race, as long as they are responsible, motivated, and treat her right. It sounds like your daughter is just dating and things may not be too serious at this point. If it turns out to be a long-term relationship, I offer the following advice. There are always going to be some cultural issues when you're in a long-term relationship with someone from a different ethnic background. For example, my husband is from a culture where extended family have a huge amount of power over you in terms of money, decision making, etc. He is called upon continually to help his family out financially and otherwise. This was really hard for me to accept, especially in the early years of our marriage. Cultural difference such as this are not apparent when dating, so it's something to be aware of when pursuing a long-term relationship! If you can't embrace these differences, you need to at least accept them or the relationship will crumble. As a side note - I work with a lady who is turning 70 this year. She confided in me that when she was in her late teens, she was dating a Japanese guy and had fallen in love with him. Her parents were extremely upset and forbid her from pursuing a relationship with him, purely on the basis that he was Japanese. She ended up marrying another dear man, but to this day she regrets her lost love and is upset that her parents did this to her.
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What Are your Favorite Hobbies? Things you do for Fun ?
by flipper inhello folks.
just a little continuation thread of another one i did.
would be interesting to see what fun things people like to do, so we can get to know one another better.
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DiscoSandy
Going for walks - early in the morning and late in the evening
Movies - preferably the non-Hollywood type!
Cooking and baking - trying out new recipes and improvising
Gardening/landscaping - love getting my hands dirty. In the next few weeks I'll be planting about 50 new shrubs/trees/perennial flowers/grasses.
Knitting/sewing - I like starting new projects and sometimes I actually finish them.
Traveling - last year we went to Toronto and New York. I'm working on our next adventure.
Having a glass of wine or Baileys with hubby and just chillin out in his arms :)
Going to all of my kids' sports events - volleyball, basketball, track, and soccer.
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Your most hated Kingdom Songs ever...
by B_Deserter inwe all know that skilled songwriters the brothers are not, so what are your most hated kingdom songs?
the ones that made you cringe when you saw them listed on the km or watchtower?
mine?.
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DiscoSandy
Something that went like this . . . "Let's watch how we walk, and watch how we talk". The canned recorded music was awful, too.
The church I attend now has an ensemble of musicians that play every Sunday. The music is lively and the worship service is so uplifting. We mix it up and sing a variety of contemporary and traditional songs. Quite a contrast !