I was in love. The object of my affection probably married me for several reasons:
- I was a hard worker as well as a pioneer.
- There was money in my family.
- I was the last remaining single brother in the congregation.
- No one else was willing to tolerate her mouth. I'm fairly easygoing. (or I was...)
- A CO announced that Gilead was no longer accepting applications from single sisters, and she was desperate to go. We never did.
- She mistook my kindness for weakness and my silence for stupidity. (I'm more of a doer than a talker.) In other words, she thought I'd be easy to manipulate.
Within a few months I knew she married me for all the wrong reasons, but I was stuck with her and I determined to try to make the best of it. That was the biggest mistake of my life. I carried on with it for 16 years. I probably would have stayed longer, but it became obvious that she was just waiting for my mother to die, hoping she'd get her grubby hands on more money, and then she'd leave probably me. I had already DA'd when my JW mother agreed with my assessment of the situation, and my mom was very supportive of me dumping the leech's worthless ass. According to my mom, many other JWs were glad to see me do this too. My ex was not well liked by JWs, "worldly" people, or even her own family. I knew this when I married her, but love sometimes makes up the most stupid excuses for bad behaviour.
The damage is lasting though. In the 8 years since I left her I haven't been able to have any relationships. I can't even accept a hug from my sisters without cringing inwardly, though I manage to hide it. So I make it a point to avoid any women who appear interested in me now. They don't need my fucking baggage.
W
