Hi KCM, and welcome to the forum
According to the watchtower definition of apostate you, and I, and many others on this board are apostates. However, like moat things, the society have twisted the meaning of the word to suit their purposes anyway. The dictionary definition of apostate is someone who has ababndoned a previously-held belief, usually religious though it can be something else, like political.
That makes over 60% of the congregation I used to belong to apoatate, as so many of them had come to the watchtower from other religions, a fact I have on occasion pointed out to them.
To be called an apostate is nothing to be ashamed of. Everyone has the right to change their beliefs, or even abandon them. That the watchtower tries to apply the term apostate only to people who leave them is just another example of their mind control tactics. They try to make members fearful of apostates, and are very successful in doing so. Most jws I have known, including myself when I was a jw, are very wary, to say the least, of speaking to anyone who they consider to have what they would regard as apostate ideas.
When I quit the meetings just over 7 years ago, I would have disputed that I was an apostate, but nowadays being referred to in such a way doesn't bother me at all. I came to realise that such thoughts and feelings were throwbacks to my days of being under the watchtower mind control. I would think that, with the passage of time, you will feel the same way.
dedpoet