my dad passed away in december and i had to fly to south africa for his funeral.
both my parents and just about all the extended family are devout witnesses.
the funeral talk was held at the local kh.
((((((Raphael))))))
Sorry for your loss.
I think that when the JWs shun someone at a family member's funeral, more often than not they are trying to make a point or strong-arming the DF'd person. It has less to do with WT policy and more to do with control on a personal level, I think.
GGG
since 1995 and the "generation" change, many jw's have gone ahead and had .
fairly normal lives instead of waiting until the new system.
by 1995, the 1975 mentality .
I havnt' read or heard anything about baptizing kids under the age of 14, let along 10, if it came to that then I am sure they would lose more than gain.
At the last assembly I attended a couple years ago, they interviewed an 8 year old girl who had gotten baptized the day before with her 6 year old sister!!! Of course, the audience clapped, but I could see around me there were several people who didn't think this was right. They will keep "encouraging" baptism younger and younger, because it's the only way to keep kids in the org. If they are baptized before they know what they're doing, and they risk losing everything if they leave later in life, the WT might be able to hang onto them. As it is, the kids are leaving in droves. GGG
i have previously posted on the subject of finding people who could help me get some testimonials from experienced jws who have been shunned by friends and family.
this was my way of getting my daughter to wake up to the realities of what is going on with the organization she is associated with.
much to my sadness, i have been notified by her husband that she died this morning of lung cancer.
I'm so very sorry.
GGG
long story short, (i'll post it later), after many years of problems with the wts my wife and kids left me and she has filed for divorce (no adultery was committed).
feeling really sad right now.
i was a great husband and father, however, i could not take the thought of going to any more meetings and have over the last year started to find was to avoid meetings.
((((((((((thepackage))))))))))
I'm so sorry for what you're going through.
GGG
i'm currently active in the congregation but i want to make an exit.
now there is a brother about my age in my congo that i've spent more time with lately.
i really didn't consider him this at the time but he told me that he doesn't really have many he's open to, and he said he considers me one of those close friends of his.
If you can manage the potential effects of his cutting you out of his life suddenly, then I'd say to continue your friendship. I think you should live each day you have to it's fullest potential. Having close friends is a great experience in life.
It's very hard if the friend cuts you off, but then again, he might wonder why you are leaving and follow you out! You never know.
I was a JW my entire life, and had friends who I'd shared everything with for decades. They all pretty much ignore me now. I was very depressed about it at first, but I'm glad that I've had such unbelievably close friends. Teaches you a lot about yourself, I think.
GGG
from someone who attended:.
there was a big elders meeting in columbia sc on saturday june 9.. around 240 congregations, 2000+ elders.. the society wants to build a brand new assembly hall in columbia, sc, to handle the huge influx of jws moving to the us southeast from up north.. they expect to have it done in 34 months (finished by april 2010).
total cost estimated to be approximately $8 - 9 million.. they want to have the whole thing paid for by the time the building is done - no long term loans.. they "strongly suggested" that each of the 240 congregations commit to supporting "their share" of the expense.
Even if it's fully paid for, the R&F get screwed over just the same.
You spend a fortune in gas to get to the Assembly Hall, where you check into a hotel at the bargain price of about $85 a night (including taxes, which are outrageous here), fork over money for breakfast, lunch, and dinner out, and go to the assembly where you hear how priveleged we are to be at Jehovah's table, and how it's only proper to show our appreciation by helping to pay the expenses of this spiritual feast.
It makes me so mad. My husband just got back from the convention. Can't wait to see the credit card bill. Plus, he's now in a foul mood, no doubt because of all the talk of evil apostates, the evil internet, the evils of college education, ad nauseum.....
GGG
do you ever want to share something with the spouse that you read here on jwd or .
at other anti-jw information sites?.
examples: "dear, i heard that magazines won't be handed out to the df'ed anymore.".
My husband is an elder. He was raised a JW, as was I. When I first started facing my doubts, I asked him things like, How can we possibly say that this is the only true religion, when neither of us has ever looked into anything else at all?? As I brought up my doubts, he had no answers and finally told me that he didn't know me anymore. For a while, I though my marriage was going to end over all this. There was nothing left between us, for all intents and purposes.
About a year ago we had a family crisis that sort of brought him back to reality, and our relationship now is very good. By that I mean that we love each other and aren't afraid to show it, we talk about the daily stuff, the kids, etc. But it's all superficial stuff. The WT is off limits. I don't mention doctorine, and neither does he. He's stopped asking if I'm going to meetings. He did ask if I was going to the convention, and I said no, and he didn't really react negatively to that either. HUGE relief....
I'm in the same situation as some of you, though. My thought process are going 100 miles an hour most of the time, I'm reading and learning and doubting and I want to talk to my husband about all of this, and it's impossible. I feel like this change is a huge part of my life, and being a JW is a huge part of his, and we can't share those parts of each other. In one way, he's at a disadvantage because he doesn't have a clue what I believe anymore, whereas I know exactly what he believes and does. I have online friends now that I discuss all this with, but I have no real life friends, either, and I really miss not talking to my husband about things that are this all-encompassing for both of us.
My kids are teenagers, neither one is baptized, my oldest is away at college, and both have said (to me) that they will never be JWs. That is huge, because until I started fading a few years back, we were the Perfect JW Family. I do wonder what will happen when the kids are grown, non-JWs, I'm completely inactive, and my husband is going to meetings by himself (well, with his mother.) I hope that he will leave, but I'm not holding my breath. Too much of who he is is tied up in his being a JW. I'm not sure that I can replace that for him. And I'm not sure that it's my job to, either.
GGG
think about this.. go way back...far far back in history.. go back before the internet.
go back farther.. go back before newspapers, tv and radio.. go waaaaay back before there was public education.. return to a time when there were no universities or libraries.. go even farther back in time and return to when it was thousands of years before any modern era.. people got their ideas from their families and neighbors period!.
everything was rumor.
Thanks for your explaination, Vernon.
I guess I believe that if there is a god who created all mankind, he would make it known beyond a shadow of a doubt to each and every human being that they are loved, that he is there for us, and that he cares. We would KNOW.... we wouldn't have to have "faith"... or have to believe a story that someone else tells us.
I've had Christians tell me that feeling the love of God in my life is a grace. So that means, then, that since I don't feel it, I'm not good enough. God is withholding his love from me. Come to church, worship daily, then you'll experience God's love! Sorry, but that smacks of control to me.
God isn't real because lots of people believe in him, either. I don't know if he exists or not. But the fact that Christians 2000 years ago martyred themselves for him, and the fact that others today are willing to fly themselves into buildings for him, proves only how deeply mind control can reach. And it's scary. If you're convincing enough, and get enough people to believe that what you say is God's will, you can tell them anything and they'll do it. Because if you call it "having faith", that makes it so much more holy and good.
GGG
think about this.. go way back...far far back in history.. go back before the internet.
go back farther.. go back before newspapers, tv and radio.. go waaaaay back before there was public education.. return to a time when there were no universities or libraries.. go even farther back in time and return to when it was thousands of years before any modern era.. people got their ideas from their families and neighbors period!.
everything was rumor.
GOING.....GOING...Going...going....GONE!
And here I thought this post would be all about me!
VernonWilliams: The cool thing about God: His patience with our limited intellect, level of perception, our over abundunce of self awareness in this cosmos, .....all that restricts and blurrs.
How do you know God is patient? You missed Terry's point, I think.... You believe the story, why? I'm not trying to be critical of you personally, I truly want to know how someone professes belief in someone who they claim is almighty, yet who allows suffering, unjustness, and (if you believe the bible) takes pleasure in genocide. I don't get it.
GGG
yes, i realize it's quite a hare-brained idea .
how to verify, etc.
it could be done and i like the idea.
One way you might achieve this is to set up a foundation to that effect. Ex-JWs ccould apply for scholarships in writing, and the Board of Directors would make the decision on who gets the annual/semi-annual scholarship that the foundation awards.
That's all I know about how foundations work off the top of my head. My daughter applied for many scholarships before she started college, and nearly all had stipulations as to who could apply (based on ethnicity, field of study, geographic location, education level of parents, etc.) I'm sure you could find lots of information about it online!
GGG
