my mother just called and has taken over all the arrangements.
granted it's her daughter that just died but she hated my sister and took out all her rage on her.
not that the rest of us got anything good.
((((((((((((Lady Lee))))))))))))
Have a private service with your siblings and anyone else who cared about your sister and who you want to include. Only include them if they are capable of real feelings and empathy for what you and your siblings are going through now. Talk about your sister, talk about your feelings, or do whatever you and your siblings feel is appropriate to honor her memory and recognize the pain you feel right now over losing her.
Whatever you decide, I wish you peace.
GGG
.
my mom told me about this site im embarrassed to tell yahs who she is haha,kidding shes legolas, lets see i left the "truth" aka the lie in june, although we stopped going a year ago, i just want to see if i can learn more about the lies in the cult because my old best friend works with me but she is a jw and she acts like i dont exist, i want to tell her somthing thats a real shocker and maybe shell come to her senses, any ideas??!
i just want to say hi to jordan....so hi!!!!
Welcome!
GGG
i see a lot of happier people around here.
Yes, absolutely.
I think the whole process of exiting has phases, and ups and downs, but it moves towards healing and the closer one gets, the better one feels, generally speaking. Some days I feel so happy and hopeful about the future... I was always afraid of Armageddon, too, and just knew that I wasn't good enough, should have been doing more, etc. Not being afraid of Armageddon anymore and being able to look forward to the future was amazing! But other days I still get depressed over the fact that my husband is still in, that we can't talk, and that I will never have a 'normal' marriage as long as he is a JW. Or the fact that I can't be with my friends for fear of them bringing up the dreaded 'What can I do to help you get back to meetings?' questions....
All in all, though, I am happier now than I can ever remember being in my life.
GGG
i just got some news and am still shaking.
my sister died today.
i hardly knew her .
((((((((((((((((((Lady Lee)))))))))))))))))))))
I'm so sorry for your loss.
GGG
intimacy in a mixed marriage
ok, time for my second poll.
the first one on secrecy struck a chord with many of you.
1. When one of you changed your beliefs, did it change the level of intimacy in your marriage, and if so, was it for the better or the worse?
I was the one who changed my beliefs, and the level of intimacy changed initially from my end mostly, and for the worse. And since I am absolutely the verbal party in this marriage, when I pulled back, it was a noticable problem.
2. Can you share your innermost religious feelings with your partner?
NO
3. Does being able to share your religious feelings impact your ability to be intimate overall?
At this point in my exit, I really wish that I could share what I have learned with my husband. Interestingly, my husband and I have never discussed religious matters as a JW couple in the 20 years we have been married. We have discussed practical JW things - where is the new Kingdom Ministry, what hotel will we stay at for the next assembly - but never doctorine. But knowing that I no longer share his beliefs has been a problem for him, which is something that I found puzzling to begin with, because despite the fact that he is an elder, I don't know that he is truly a 'believer.' He believes the JW teachings because it's all he's known his whole life, but he is content to accept the WTS on their word because they say that he must. I find that mindset infuriating now, but I had it myself for a long time. I really feel that if he knew what I know now about the WTS, his 'faith' would be just as shaken as mine was initially. I try to be patient with him.
4. I have used the analogy of the "other woman" when describing the influence of the Watchtower Bible and Tract society on our marriage. Hubby also consults "her" whenever he is making a decision. Would this analogy fit your situation, and if so, how does it affect intimacy?
I was a JW, so I know all the 'rules', and thus I can predict what his JW-decision will be in any given situation. What bothers me is the amount of time he invests in the WTS persuits, time that he could spend with me, with our kids (instead of dragging them to the meeting), or doing something productive. The fact that he's an elder means that suddenly he'll have extra meetings, shepherding calls, etc. Frustrating.
5. Does your partner bring Watchtower materials to bed?
Nope - but he never did before, either.
6. Anything else you would like to share?
Leaving the WT is an emotionally traumatic experience - at least I have experienced it to be. Your belief system is gone, you are risking the loss of every friend you have ever had, and your spouse is dead-set against your actions. You are trying to figure out what you believe now (instead of just what you don't believe), trying to carefully back away from your longtime friends in case you are df'd, and trying to make new 'worldly' friends whom you cannot invite over to your home because your JW mate believes them to be bad association. The emotional support that I desperately need from my husband is not there, and instead I find myself in the postion of peace-keeper in our marriage when all I want is for him to tell me that everything is going to be ok. But his world has changed, too - because I no longer believe in the JW way of doing things, I seriously think that he was afraid that I would leave him or have an affair or something. So I had to be the emotional pillar for a while and smother HIM with affection, to reassure him that I still love him, it's just my beliefs that have changed. I can sooo understand that many women can't cut it. It's draining. But I am just delusional enough to believe that maybe someday, someday, he will listen to what I have to say and we can have an intelligent conversation about all of this. We'll see, I guess.
it feels like it's never gonna totally go away....
It will.... believe me.... and it won't take as long as you think, either!
Welcome!
GGG
Guilty for...... being here?
Welcome!
GGG
wouldnt it be great to have an international apostafest ??????????.
couldnt it be planned for a couple of years in advance so that ppl could save up ???.
where do most ppl live i suspect the us but i dont know which state.
I would soooo love to go to an apostafest! Maybe by 2007 I'll have my husband out and we can both come!
Wow, am I in Positive Thinking mode today or what?
GGG
I agree with EO... It's why the beef industry tried to sue the pants off Oprah for her opinion, but David Letterman and Jay Leno can nightly insult every public figure known to man, with no reprecussions.
GGG
So any of us is vulnerable at any time? Any company with a burr up its butt can decide to bring a civil case against me and as long as on its face it is sustainable enough for a trial, I'm toast.
It costs just as much money to bring a suit against someone as it does to defend yourself. Unless a corporation has something to gain by suing you (money, publicity, protecting it's interests - as the WTS is doing), then they won't.
Unless you have undisclosed millions hidden away somewhere, I wouldn't worry about it...
GGG
