M*A*S*H

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Posts by M*A*S*H

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  26

  How do I get my "lesbian" co-worker to stop discussing her lifestyle?

  by booker-t in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i work with a young woman in her mid-thirties that is openly lesbian.

  we have been friends for about 10 years when she first started working at the company.

  i was crazy about her before she came out as "gay" and i still have a good time working with her.

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  M*A*S*H

  I would out strip her...
  
  If she nudges you in the ribs, saying "hey she's a bit of alright", as a pretty girl walks past; next time a nice chappy walk by punch her in ribs, saying "Wow, I wouldn't a bit of him, wohoo! Get in on girlfriend".
  
  If she says "Hey I picked up a real hot chick last night."; you say "Really, I managed to get another boy friend last night... Phew two or three in one evening is a bit much but... but it keeps me fit".
  
  If she flirts with co-workers or clients... do the same... wait 'till some bloke walks past her desk, leap on to it, legs akimbo, liking your lips provocatively...etc... etc...
  
  I know this isn't the advice you where after, but hey... I enjoyed writing it.
  
  PS. Try saying, "Hi Girlfriend, I know it might seem a bit old fashioned... but sometimes I get a little uncomfortable when you tell me about blah blah".
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  13

  Intelligent Design

  by M*A*S*H in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  hello chaps .

  i've been away... but now i'm back to 'troll the place up'.

  a long time ago my brother and i had a little gentlemen's bet.

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  M*A*S*H

  Hello Chaps
  
  I've been away... but now I'm back to 'troll the place up'.
  
  A long time ago my brother and I had a little gentlemen's bet. By 'brother' I mean biological. By 'gentlemen' I mean unbelieving dead men walking. So anyway... the bet was that evolution will be accepted by the borg before the decade is out.
  
  From time to time I like to grill my dub parents about any new 'light' on the subject, but alas the 'holey' spirit seems to of let me down; or so I thought. Whilst pursuing the official dub site I started to notice some familiar looking expressions from the wonderful world of Intelligent Design! There are even some nice little quotes from pro ID discredited disgraced nut job professors, hurrah!
  
  I just love 'irreducible complexity', it send shivers of pleasure down my spine when reading at http://www.watchtower.org/library/g/2004/6/22/article_03.htm... The other parts of the article are http://www.watchtower.org/library/g/2004/6/22/article_01.htm and http://www.watchtower.org/library/g/2004/6/22/article_02.htm
  
  I reckon I'm on to a winner... looks like my brother will be going to the memorial 2010!
  
  I'm not exactly sure how they would make such massive change in doct-urine, probably the same way the 'generation' thing went down. "Welcome to the Watchtower Study, hey lets talk about the word 'generation'... Brother 2 of 9, please read the paragraph 'Millions Living Then Are Already Dead, Ooops'".
  
  My personal view is they'll say something like 'The bible said that G created the earth - but we kinda believe in the big bang, so maybe G set the creation in motion, perhaps guiding it a bit... just like evolution... just like we've always said... AMEN, a bit like when G built the pyramids as the great Tazer once said'.
  
  What do you guys think? Do ya think they'll go for Evolution eventually?
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  22

  2005 SERVICE YEAR REPORT

  by Mary in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  country

  % increase

  baptized

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  M*A*S*H

  Right, I'm off to Bangladesh where there's 1 JW to 1,311,997 people... if that's not paradise on earth, then what is?
  I wonder how many people have claimed and been counted as annointed over the years... they don't seem to publish that figure!?
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  13

  Thinking of leaving? Do you have a good Reputation?

  by M*A*S*H in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i've had an idea, a cruel and malicious idea.

  want to hear it?

  well, what i'm hoping is we can find someone who's thinking of leaving the jw's, has a relatively good standing in the congo and is a good actor.

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  M*A*S*H

  Yes, yes sass_my_frass... I think you're right. A global conspiracy! Wouldn't be lovely to see a 10 fold increase in those partaking at the next memorial? That would start the old rumour mill grinding...
  If it comes off for anyone, and they actually can convince people... I'm going to pretend I'm Jesus, turn up at Bethal, as an ass, oops, I mean on as ass... and ask for my own personal parking space (oh and I might steal some of their office paper whilst they're not looking). Mawhahahahaha
  PS. Hi AuldSoul, I'm back! My usual intellectual finess on display. Who's Richie?
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  13

  Thinking of leaving? Do you have a good Reputation?

  by M*A*S*H in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i've had an idea, a cruel and malicious idea.

  want to hear it?

  well, what i'm hoping is we can find someone who's thinking of leaving the jw's, has a relatively good standing in the congo and is a good actor.

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  M*A*S*H

  I've had an idea, a cruel and malicious idea. Want to hear it? Of course you do.
  Well, what I'm hoping is we can find someone who's thinking of leaving the JW's, has a relatively good standing in the congo and is a good actor. Oh, and someone who doesn't mind potentially getting DS'd and annoying lots of people.
  The basic idea is, to see if we can get someone to convince their congo they're annointed. As I understand it, now the whole '1914 generation' thing has changed, any young whipper snapper can be annointed. Wouldn't that be fun? I think if properly planned and well executed it could be done. Surely us worldly folk couldn't pull the wool over the holy spirits eyes'?
  We have some very clever people on the forum, who could probably help with scripting the initial casual conversations with elders... and perhaps we could try to develop some new light... lol. Perhaps a trip to bethal?
  Oh my goatish chin is twitching with delight... so sign up - YOUR FORUM NEEDS YOU! (plus pointy finger thing).
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  22

  Lurkers:How To Leave The Organization Quietly And Discreetly

  by metatron in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  an ever growing number of witnesses would like to leave the organization - but how?

  you may have an extended family "in the truth".. all your "friends" ( and that word "friends" deserves to be put in quotes ) may be "in the truth".

  you may not be in any position to make.

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  M*A*S*H

  That's given me an idea for a new topic.
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  22

  Lurkers:How To Leave The Organization Quietly And Discreetly

  by metatron in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  an ever growing number of witnesses would like to leave the organization - but how?

  you may have an extended family "in the truth".. all your "friends" ( and that word "friends" deserves to be put in quotes ) may be "in the truth".

  you may not be in any position to make.

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  M*A*S*H

  If I could do it all again... I wouldn't do the fade or DS. I'd like to the one thing no one ever seems to think of: Say you're annointed. I'd love to give that a go, I mean the possibilities are endless. The only draw back is you might end up running the JW show, rather than freeing up your Thursday evening.
  It would be nice to swan about the KH, saying "oh, you wouldn't really understand, only those of us with a heavenly hope can... don't worry your little 'earthly hoping' head about it - get on an' shine my shoes, oh and I'm out of bread and wine... chop chop".
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  42

  You know you're an apostate when...

  by MsMcDucket in

  1. social
  2. humour

  .

  i'll start off with... .

  when you go to a jw convention and then go to a casino the same night.

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  M*A*S*H

  When someone asks you "JW's don't believe in Jesus, right?"... you say "err.. yep... whatever"
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  10

  For all you brits in bars...

  by orbison11 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  .

  i just saw a news clip here in vancouver re the 'no close' laws and i noticed people smoking in the bars...is that so?

  or just designated spots.. thanks orbi

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  M*A*S*H

  Personally I doubt much will change, but if anything, things might get a little worse. The fact is pubs and clubs will still close at the same times roughly - occasionally when the England football is playing a match at 03:00 BST/GMT in some far off distant land a few pubs might stay open with there special licence.

  I don't think the binge drinking is anything to do with closing time... I think it's more to do with the fact we're stupid - we love drinking, the more exotic the beverage the better. The easiest way to stop people drinking too much - is too slap on even bigger taxes on Alcohol - then we'd all run out of money quicker. Education might work, but it's doubtful.

  Besides, us brits have to get really drunk when we go out, so we don't feel the cold on the walk home... It's the law in the UK, when you go out for an evening anyone under the age of 35 is not allowed to wear anything other than jeans and shirt. Ask anyone, it's true.
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  18

  1st Thanksgiving ever (for me)

  by AuldSoul in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my wife's first in over a decade.

  wow was that fun!.

  my uncle (by marriage) said grace.

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  M*A*S*H

  You little pagan you... next you'll be beheading people and sacrificing goats all in the name of...