Posts by conflicted

29

trying to understand

by DixieDarlin07148 in

jw
friends

i'm 18 and my boyfriend is 16 and an active jw.i'm a baptist and very stong in my belief and love of god.my boyfriend and i haven't been together that long but were very serious and plan on getting married (when the time is right).we both know that we have no intentions of raising our children jw but as baptist and he tells me that he wants to get out of jw but right now its very hard for him because he still lives with his parents and his mother and oldest sister are very active jw.and i understand all that its just that because i love him so much i want to understand about his life and the way he was raised and what he was raised to believe but hes made it very clear that he doesnt want to explain it or talk about it hes told me some stuff but very little.i'm just wondering about their beliefs and what the jw's have to say about us dating and just any information anyone can provide!!!

!thank-you very much!!!!

!

conflicted

I think it's a brave thing for J2L to come here and post his thoughts the way he has - climbing a soap box and preaching won't work here. He has found a way to speak to us, and get us to listen by admitting the flaws in the organization - it seems to me though that there wouldn't be so many flaws if the society was truly run directly by Jehovah God through his faithful and discreet slave. God is infallible - God is perfect, true, people are imperfect, but would and infallible perfect being allow His organization to be run as sloppily and shoddy as the WTS and still allow them to continue doing this in His name. I find it hard to believe.

Dixie: Patience is the key for your situation. Pathofthorns has good advise - leaving the JW's isn't easy when your family is involved - he WILL be alienated, dont doubt this. He WILL be pressured to return, and he may do just that. Even if he does leave and doesn't go back, everything you consider normal will be foreign to him - he has never lived for himself before - he has never done ANYTHING just because he wanted to. His whole life has been dictated by what others expect of him, and he has been taught that this world will soon be destroyed, so there was never a need to cultivate anything lasting in his life. I dont want to sound harsh or mean-spirited, I just want you to be aware that this is going to be hard for both of you. He can say he wants to leave - actually doing it is completely different. Best of luck to you both.

24

Big Boys Don't Cry........

by ISP in

jw
friends

big boys don't cry!

well that's what we are told anyway!

and i guess this convention is widespread in many cultures.

conflicted

I dont cry - ever. The last time I cried was 9 years ago when my grandmother passed away. The last time before that was when I was 13 and my parents got divorced, and any times I may have cried before that was childhood.

I dont think I'm maladjusted, I'm not insensitive, I just dont show emotion in that way. It seems to me that crying is almost a subconcious thing, people dont try to cry as far as I know - it just happens - and it doesn't happen to me. I feel sorrow when it's appropriate, sadness too - but the need to cry deosn't occur.

I don't think I'm alone in this, nor is it only a male thing, it's just another one of those things that makes us individuals.

22

How should i DA or DF myself in April?

by TheApostleAK in

jw
friends

i'm thinking of daing myself at the end of april.

what things should i do during april?.

a) doing 70+ hours in field service?.

conflicted

The ideas posted above sound humorous in nature - made me laugh, but if you ARE seriously considering leaving JUST LEAVE.

Here's what I did - I stopped going to meetings, field service, bible studies, everything. Cold turkey. The cong. PO called once and I told him I didn't intend to return and hung up. Later that year another elder came to pick me up and take me to the memorial. As I wasn't dressed for meeting attendance I told him I would get ready and meet him there - when he left I continued playing the one-on-one b-ball he interrupted. I have never been bothered since.

I never had to write a letter - never had to go to a judicial meeting - never had to endure ANY JW BS. It was very clean and easy.

I hear alot about people wanting to "get even" or "get back" at the JW's, but I dont consider them worth my time and live my life as such.

Just my opinion

15

A different thought re "flickering light&q...

by comment in

jw
friends

does it seem plausible to you that some of the society's apparent flip-flops on doctrine are simply errors by the writing department?.

for instance, take the question of whether the inhabitants of sodom and gomorrah will be resurrected.

around 1989, the revised edition of you can live forever in paradise said no, the insight book said something else and the revelation climax book said something else.

conflicted

Now that I'm on the outside looking in,I have a new perspective n what I believe goes on inside the organization. I would have never come up with this idea when I was a sheep.

1) The organization KNOWS it is misleading people
2) Their sole purpose is to sell the publications - not preach
3) Because they already have an outlet to place 90% of what they publish, they dont have to be too concerned with content.
4) As long as they dont make too many waves the r&f wont question it
5) The occasional twist or flip in doctrine is always obeyed by the r&f, so any mistakes can be swept under the carpet.
6) All of the above make it possible for the writing department to print WHATEVER THEY WANT. No harm will come to them.

140

NEW RELIGION! NEED INPUT!

by TR in

jw
friends

this is sort of a take-off of the "what should the wt do" thread.. i need to get together a board of directors and elect a president and officers.

we need to figure out a doctrine, a manifesto, and a set of disciplinary rules.

we need to figure out a way to fund our new movement.

conflicted

This is great - I'm sorry i haven't seen it until now. Here are my ideas.

1) I can lead in the publication department - as a graphic artist and desktop publisher I know the ins-and-outs of publication/printing.

2) I can brainstorm with the writing dept for new ideas and setting up doctrine - including the occasional flip

3) Doctrine: there are 343(7 to the 4th)earthly gods and goddesses (RHW is one) - we can make up a quiz for the others to pass - only these "godly ones" can sit in the thrones we will put at the back of our church podium. At any time during the meeting the "gody ones" can correct the speaker by shouting "INSOLENCE" and whacking them with a scepter we will provide - the "godly one" will then tell us what the "new light" is.

4) Doctrine: The American Football season must NOT be interrupted - so meetings will not be held on Sundays - someone suggest a good day.

5) Doctrine: children shall be revered as "holy midgets" - once they are 10 years old they attain the position of "speakers of the small world" where they can recieve messages from the "godly ones" and report it to the writing dept. in the form of a message box in each church. The writing department will then "interpret" the meanings and write up the articles as they see fit.

6) We should also have a research department that looks up any and all writings to pull quotes from to support our beliefs - if none can be found they will omit or edit as necessary to make them fit.

10

Trust your HEART or your CONSCIENCE?

by LDH in

jw
friends

over the past few weeks i have been thinking about this and wanted to get your input.. it seems to me the wbts has taken one scripture, jer.

10:23 (the heart is treacherous, who can know it) and used it to build their whole religion.

they have convinced us that all of men's hearts are pure evil, and i just don't find that to be true!.

conflicted

You all have excellent points.

I think when I posted my first answer I was speaking more for myself than for others who are in more difficult situations.

It is very hard to go against everything you have ever been taught - and when you try to make life-changing decisions all you have to rely on is what you "know". If your whole existance has revolved around what your parents think, what the elders think, what the governing body think - you aren't thinking for yourself. I believe this is at the heart of the situation (pun intended). When a person begins to think for themselves they come to their own conclusions - they decide for themselves what is right and what is wrong. Some even believe with their whole being that the WTS is right in all things, and as long as they decide this for themselves rather than have it beaten into them that is fine - they aren't hurting anyone. It's when people are forced to comply that damage takes place - psychological damage, and for some physical damage - that is sad and repulsive to those of us who do think for ourselves and know better.

I guess what I'm trying to say, is that at some point everyone has to truly decide for themselves what they really want - even when you have family in the truth, even and especially when children are involved, even when everything you "know" stands in the balance - there will come a point when you have to decide WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU. And then, whether it's your heart or your conscience doing the talking, you can truly be free.

Edited by - conflicted on 20 March 2001 17:25:6

10

Trust your HEART or your CONSCIENCE?

by LDH in

jw
friends

over the past few weeks i have been thinking about this and wanted to get your input.. it seems to me the wbts has taken one scripture, jer.

10:23 (the heart is treacherous, who can know it) and used it to build their whole religion.

they have convinced us that all of men's hearts are pure evil, and i just don't find that to be true!.

conflicted

I dont know which one is "speaking" to me, but I live my life by the "golden rule" of do unto others as you would have them do unto you. If that means I let my conscience rule - so be it, I find that I'm a pretty happy person, and People tend to befriend me more that the witnesses ever did.

As for what would happen if JW's started listening to their heart: I think it happens every day - and they end up leaving the organization as a result - all the more reason for the GB to frown upon it.

Edited by - conflicted on 20 March 2001 13:50:44

28

"For bodily devotion is beneficial for a l...

by LDH in

jw
friends

so along the line of other threads about mortality and every disease known and unknown to man, i pose a question:.

if you are an active jw, how much time per week do you spend on regular exercise (not the sunday afternoon softball game)?.

if you are an inactive or ex-jw, same question, only: how long did it take you to realize that regular exercise should be a part of your life to maintain/improve your health?.

conflicted

RHW, does that yoga include meditation - you know how the society veiws meditation (except when it pertatains the their materials). ;)

15

NUBIE ON CITE

by dark clouds in

jw
friends

want to start this out by saying thank you simon .

its been a few weeks since i joined cyberspace, prior to navigating i had no idea their was a place for ex jw's to chat or meet.

the concept is fabulous.

conflicted

Welcome aboard dark clouds, I think you'll find this site filled with caring people who can help you with any concerns you have. I too left the organization years ago and only began healing recently. Good luck.

28

"For bodily devotion is beneficial for a l...

by LDH in

jw
friends

so along the line of other threads about mortality and every disease known and unknown to man, i pose a question:.

if you are an active jw, how much time per week do you spend on regular exercise (not the sunday afternoon softball game)?.

if you are an inactive or ex-jw, same question, only: how long did it take you to realize that regular exercise should be a part of your life to maintain/improve your health?.

conflicted

LDH and happy, your stories are too funny. In our congregateion we were told ANY competition is bad and that included playing and watching sports. Can you believe it??! There were occasional outings where softball or basketball were played, but only those "not strong" in the "truth" ever partook of the festivities. I amazes me how much these people restrict themselves from normal harmless activities. It's almost like they are actively trying to lead boring pointless lives.

Still laughing at "next time she comes to practice, wont she dress like a lady of GOD" ROFLMAO