kiddotan

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Posts by kiddotan

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  17

  Solution for "Unbelieving Mates" - Add Fun

  by jgnat in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  here is another "solution" on an ongoing series i am developing to help "unbelieving mates", or ubm's, to reach their jw partner.

  each "solution" is part of a toolkit of ideas that the ubm can modify for their situation.

  i am a natural strategist, so it was fairly easy for me to come up with ideas and a plan, based on the temperament and personality of my jw partner.

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  kiddotan

  I know this is/was manipulative behavior....but hey...I was doing life saving work...

  It's could strategic planning, not manipulation, besides when it's fun... and good for all..
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  26

  If you celebrate Christmas, do you belief in Christ?

  by free2beme in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i celebrate christmas each year and do no consider myself a christian in any way.

  my spouse does not either and we are raising our son to be non-christian.

  so why do i celebrate christmas, because i can.

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  kiddotan

  As a family we aren't christians, we just had a family day, lots of food, fun, pressies, food, friends, did i mention food. On the beach or by the pool.

  We have a rule only hand made gifts or certificates allowed.

  We still do this now, if we are all in the same country at once.
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  30

  INTIMACY Poll...UBM's I'm asking you

  by jgnat in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  intimacy in a mixed marriage

  ok, time for my second poll.

  the first one on secrecy struck a chord with many of you.

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  kiddotan

  1. When one of you changed your beliefs, did it change the level of intimacy in your marriage, and if so, was it for the better or the worse?

  N/A new what he was getting as have been friends (gasp, with a non jw) and worked together for years

  2. Can you share your innermost religious feelings with your partner?

  Yes, we don't agree with each other, we just except what the other has to say, neither of us have the much of aninclination to rant. If he starts, I start talking horses which is my only religon.

  3. Does being able to share your religious feelings impact your ability to be intimate overall?

  I believe it does for us, as is gives me an understanding of what holds him back.

  4. I have used the analogy of the "other woman" when describing the influence of the Watchtower Bible and Tract society on our marriage. Hubby also consults "her" whenever he is making a decision. Would this analogy fit your situation, and if so, how does it affect intimacy?

  Sometimes, when this happens, I just ask my dog very loudly to make a decision, or flip a coin.

  5. Does your partner bring Watchtower materials to bed?

  Not if he wants any intimacy EVER , he's got his office and garage for his space. Bedroom is our space.

  6. Anything else you would like to share?

  Having fun together (we are childless), making dates seems to work, who knows, we are only been hanging out for a few years.
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  17

  Solution for "Unbelieving Mates" - Add Fun

  by jgnat in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  here is another "solution" on an ongoing series i am developing to help "unbelieving mates", or ubm's, to reach their jw partner.

  each "solution" is part of a toolkit of ideas that the ubm can modify for their situation.

  i am a natural strategist, so it was fairly easy for me to come up with ideas and a plan, based on the temperament and personality of my jw partner.

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  kiddotan

  Jgnat

  Please don't stop these, I really appreciate you doing this. For those of us that want to stay with our JW partners this is helping. I know i will come second best to that other lover in his life. I want to stay with my best friend.

  We are very social, I horse ride, he has his cars. I am learning to negotiate.
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  28

  Why stay married to a JW?

  by kid-A in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  having read a recent thread on "mixed" marriages between active jws and non-jw (either faders or df'd) two things stood out for me.

  first, there was a profound underlying sadness on the part of the non-jw poster (as there may also be on the active jw mates part) on the reduced intimacy of the relationship, both mentally and physically.

  not being in this situation, but understanding what makes a marriage successful, i cant help but ask a rather harsh question....can anybody in this situation realistically envision how such a marriage can last in the long term?.

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  kiddotan

  I guess, it's different for everyone and life's pretty uncomfortable and not fun alot of the time. My parents are'nt JW they have been together for 32 years with no religon, but some of that time has been hell. I quit my marriage on a lot less than they went through. 2 different people living together will never be 100% wonderful in anyway.

  My partner is a JW. I just tell we have to make the most of this time, cause i won't be around after the end of time stuff.

  I belong to Riding Clubs, play Netball. I take him along to all social events. I am learning to Negoitate
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  1

  I wrote a short story...

  by betty boop in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  i am thinking of submitting this, and other things i've written to a newspaper or magazine... .

  the stories are all fiction, but all based on reality (unfortunately).

  but fortunately, you live and learn.. .

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  kiddotan

  Love it, live it, slashing tires what a great idea hmmm..
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  63

  SECRECY, Pros and Cons...UBM's, I'm asking you

  by jgnat in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  "unbelieving mates" (ubm's), this is for you.

  i'm compiling a tips sheet for brand-new ubm's to help them deal with the stresses and strains of being in a religiously mixed marriage.

  help me out by giving me your experience, both good and bad, about secrecy.

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  kiddotan

  thank you for this, only a couple of years into my relationship. Finding amazing lot of answers here.

  Pardon my ignorance (which is bliss most of the time), what is this book C of C. Find reference on so many threads, keep looking back and not finding it anywhere. Is it worth me reading?
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  21

  Melbourne Cup - I didn't win...

  by misspeaches in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  well while all our american friends are off celebrating halloween in various shapes and forms down under everyone is gathering to watch the biggest horse racing event of the year... .

  the melbourne cup!!!

  well i placed my bets and was very optimistic about them as i had recieved a hot tip.... .

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  kiddotan

  A woman into horse racing at an early age? Do many women in ausralia like horse racing? I'm just curious?

  Yeap, obsession were i am, Grandfather and uncle basil, had a horse called Veandercross, who got second in the Melbourne Cup years ago (only recognisable claim to fame), he won some good NZ races too.

  Mum was a jockey for a little while. I was too tall and heavy, have track ridden since i was legally allowed (16 yrs) (and before), sister who track rides as well. Crazy family mine
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  21

  Melbourne Cup - I didn't win...

  by misspeaches in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  well while all our american friends are off celebrating halloween in various shapes and forms down under everyone is gathering to watch the biggest horse racing event of the year... .

  the melbourne cup!!!

  well i placed my bets and was very optimistic about them as i had recieved a hot tip.... .

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  kiddotan

  New Zealand stops for this race too.

  GO THE DIVA,

  I had a couple of $'s on diva but didn't think she would do it. I liked Xcellence got my $'s back on him too.
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  16

  A Male's Brain?

  by Darth Yhwh in

  1. social
  2. humour

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  (image removed).

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  kiddotan

  love it...