I am hoping someone here can offer some wisdom on how I can deal with my guilt. When I was disfellowshipped a few years ago I acted like a maniac afterwards. I did and said things to my then girlfriend and other witnesses that I truly regret. The rage I felt at the betrayal I felt the borg was giving me was truly intense. I felt like the gates of hell were opened in my heart and all the bile I had stored up for all those years at Bethel and in the full time service came pouring out and I vented on everyone bearing the name JW, even long time friends and family members. Right noe I am looking for redemption and even attending meetings in an effort to come to peace with it all. I still fell rage at all the lies but I figure making myself go through the reinstatement process will be a good way to learn the lesson of humility. I know you all here will think I'm crazy, and maybe I am. But the pain of being separated from my family is not easing even after all these years. Actuall I feel the pain more now than ever. I'm just not strong enough to be alone out here. I need family around me to feel safe. There are reasons why so many people go back to cults once they are exited, and why people join known cults in the first place. A sense of belonging. I'll never again actually believe in the "Truth" but it seems the lesser of two evils at this point in my life. I am failing at college, teaching and almost everything I try. I was good at being a witness once upon a time and happy once too. I need that happiness back. I am not finding it all alone by myself. Thoughts appreciated.
Shawn10538
JoinedPosts by Shawn10538
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36
Guilt over how I acted when I was disfellowshipped-moment of weakness
by Shawn10538 ini am hoping someone here can offer some wisdom on how i can deal with my guilt.
when i was disfellowshipped a few years ago i acted like a maniac afterwards.
i did and said things to my then girlfriend and other witnesses that i truly regret.
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Stuck in a dead-end job because of obeying anti-higher education policy?
by nvrgnbk indid you refrain from obtaining a degree or advanced studies when you had the chance because it wasn't the witness thing to do?
how has this affected your life?
comments, rants, and personal experiences please.
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Shawn10538
Yup, I listened to that bad advice. Now going to college in my 30s sucks ass, and it takes sooooooooo long when you have to support yourself through it. Almost there. Almost there.... Patience grasshopper....
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JW Children Lie in Custody Cases
by compound complex indirect and cross-examination questions in child custody cases.
wtb&ts, page 42.
"be careful that they [jw children being questioned] don't get the impression that they are in a demonstration at the circuit assembly, when they would show that the first things in life are service and going to the kingdom hall.
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Shawn10538
After cruising around on Eduardo's site I found out some interesting things. 1) He is involved in Russian mail order brides or something close to that. 2) He lives in Los Angeles, or at least that is where his office phone is. (213) 842-2792. 3) Also, his symbol, Oroborus is of pagan origin and even has roots in spiritism and ancient mythology, being related to the god Hermes. The symbol is also used by Theosophists, a spiritistic cult. He has a daughter but it is unclear if he is married. He may be latently gay. This would explain a lot. But the main thing I want to say is this: NOONE, NO ONE EVER, and at no time in history has someone spent this much time and energy talking with apostates unless they themselves are trying to escape. So, people of this discussion board take heed. We must not insult this man or alienate him in any way. He is begging for our help. This point can not be overemphasized. We must be patient and we must continue to welcome him and engage him. He is a ticking time bomb of apostasy just waiting to explode. If you call the number above it should be with the intention of helping him out of a situation that he is lost in. He is asking you with every word he writes in this forum to save him. I don't mean that in the religious sense, I being an athiest. I mean this is an individual who is in a cult and can't get out. He is begging for help, BEGGING! So let's help him out.
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JW Children Lie in Custody Cases
by compound complex indirect and cross-examination questions in child custody cases.
wtb&ts, page 42.
"be careful that they [jw children being questioned] don't get the impression that they are in a demonstration at the circuit assembly, when they would show that the first things in life are service and going to the kingdom hall.
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Shawn10538
I think we need to set up a meeting with Eduardo. I find that when an argument has had no results in cyber world, sometimes a face to face meeting can work wonders. I believe that he has stated his last name on here somewhere. Let's look him up and try to talk with him in person. I know I've tried to get him to call me but to no avail. Apparently talking with ex-JWs here does not count as bad association. I wonder how he reasons that away. But, my number is 562-225-5928. Eduardo can call me, or maybe I'll be calling him. I just want to talk soul to soul. Looking into the eyes of somwone that you disagree with can make you see things in a totally different way. Maybe Eduardo's heart can be opened this way.
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The Greek word 'pais'
by Zico infrom matthew 8:5-13 - .
5when jesus had entered capernaum, a centurion came to him, asking for help.
6"lord," he said, "my servant lies at home paralyzed and in terrible suffering.
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Shawn10538
why always defend the Bible? It seems some people keep spinning information until they find a way to explain away a criticism. people don't do that with other books because people don't see the point in defending a book that's JUST A BOOK. With the Bible, the assumption and presumption is that it is God's word BEFORE the investigation is even started. Therefore, by necessity, every criticism must be overcome, otherwise God will look bad. This process is opposite the scientific method which dictates that observation takes place first and objectively, without an interest in how the investigation turns out or how bad it makes God or the Bible look. The man above who raced to the Bible's rescue because his poor little mind couldn't cope with the idea that Jesus could have been an imperfect man who blessed an immoral relationship and was therefore a hypocrite, is a perfect example of a response to cognitive dissonance. A more appropriate response would consider the possibility that pais in this case really did indicate a sex slave situation. Not acknowledging this possibility is unscientific and logically fallacious. Of course the inverse is also true. It must be likewise observed that pais in this case does not mean sex slave. So you end up believing what you want in the end because it lies in the category of unprovable either way.
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Cognitive Dissonance...A Mind Dance
by Confession incognitive dissonance.
there are things that i believe, hold them closely to my heart.
i may myself deceive, to keep on feeling smart.
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Shawn10538
Excellent! I think I'll use it for my education psychology class. Very relevant.
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Jehovahs Witnesses Lose Court Battle to Suppress Freedom of Speech
by Dogpatch inhttp://www.silentlambs.org/denmarklawsuit.htm.
[see more information at the link above] .
jehovahs witnesses lose court battle to suppress freedom of speech.
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Shawn10538
I sincerely hope that O'Reilly does NOT pick up this story. I would rather an actual journalist picks it up rather than that uncredible sensationalist propagandist for the religious right. I mean, please. Is there anyone on this planet that is actually dumb enough to take that clown seriously? The whole of Fox News is for the mentally deficient ignorant Red State hicks. See "Outfoxed" the documentary on Fox News. Or, just start thinking critically. Actually, better find out what critical thinking is first. Then find out what Ad Hominem and Begging the Question mean. Then go back and watch Fox News. If it isn't blatantly apparent how they are twisting the News, then there is a problem up top for you, sad to say.
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Scandal of former Governing Body member
by BrotherChitty ina number of men on the governing body have been bachelors all their life, and are believed by people who worked at headquarters to have been homosexuals.
leo k. greenlees was forced to resign when his homosexuality became public.
he then moved to new orleans.
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Shawn10538
The first glaring mistake must be the whole thing about a 17 year-old Bethelite. How could a Bethelite be 17 when the admission age is and always has been as far as I know, 19?
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Need 2004 Jan Awake on Mood Disorders
by Good Girl or Bad Girl? inhi, i'm wondering if somebody who has easy access to the cd-roms could pretty please with sugar on top look up the 2004 january awake on mood disorders and email/post/pm me the articles that say it is ok to go to therapy????.
thank you so very much in advance..
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Shawn10538
Conspicuously missing from this discussion is the fact that SEXUAL PROMISCUITY is a major symptom, if not THE major symptom of bi-polar disorder. All sufferers of bi-polar disorder experience hightened sexual feelings and as a result are often more promiscuous than they really want to be in their more lucid moments. This of course would necessitate a reexamination of all the bi-polar people who have been disfellowshipped. Of course, since even people who are severely retarded may be legitimately disfellowshipped according to society guidelines, I'm not sure if an argument for insanity defence in the case of a fornicator would fall on hearing ears.
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Why do they do that?
by nonamegiven inmy "best friend" who will no longer talk to me because i'm df'd is serving temporary service ay brooklyn bethel.
he and his wife were to be there for a month or two a year or so ago.
when they were just a few days from the end of thier stay, they got a letter asking them if they could extend it for another month or so.
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Shawn10538
I don't think that that kind of devotion is necessarily bad in and of itself. The problem comes when the thing they are devoted to is lying to them and has lied to them their whole lives JUST TO GET THAT KIND OF DEVOTION FROM THEM IN THE FIRST PLACE.