Posts by serendipity

11

Working in IT

by Chameleon in

jw
friends

hello.

if you work in it, what exactly do you do, and did you go to school for it?

I got a BS in Computer Science back in the dinosaur days of mainframes and midranges. After about 8 years, I transitioned to a business analyst role. My team was nearly offshored in 2000, so I got serious about project management and became a certified project manager.

If you're thinking about IT as a career, just be aware that more and more programming and system designer/architect jobs will be offshored. Any role that doesn't require extensive internal/external customer contact is a candidate.

67

The serious conversation with the wife about the cult

by OnTheWayOut in

jw
friends

if you needed my background, this thread will tell it-.

http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/121888/1.ashx.

my wife recently asked me about not commenting at a wt study.. our discussion was the topic of this thread-.

serendipity

Hi On the way out,
Sounds like you made some inroads. You're smart to remember that you want to win the war.

22

Did you say "I love you?"

by serendipity in

i grew up in an emotionally constipated family.

my parents didn't hug us or tell us they loved us.

they were slightly affectionate with each other, but i don't think i ever heard them express their love for each other, in front of us kids.

serendipity

I grew up in an emotionally constipated family. My parents didn't hug us or tell us they loved us. They were slightly affectionate with each other, but I don't think I ever heard them express their love for each other, in front of us kids. I was the affectionate one in the family, hugging my sister, brother and mother, but I didn't say "I love you".

As an adult, I had no problems expressing love, appreciation, etc. for boyfriends or my daughter. I tell the kids in the family (nephews, niece, cousins) that I love them. My family hugs now, since we're adults, and I mean, they initiate the hugs, rather than me. But we still don't say "I love you".

How many of you articulate your affection for family members? Were you raised that way, or did it happen later?

15

What do you single guys do?

by frozen one in

do any other single guys here experience this?

i can go for months without meeting one woman of interest.

then suddenly women start coming out of the wood work.

serendipity

I'm going to assume that you know what you want in a relationship and what kind of woman you're interested in. With that being said, I agree with the others. You can keep things casual and go for coffee with all three of them. See where they've been and ask them where they're going with their lives. Once you spend an hour with each, your choice may be easy.

If you continue dating more than one of them, just be upfront about it. The women may be dating others as well. You'll have to decide if that's acceptable to you.

Good luck!

19

The more expensive house: Vinyl or Brick?

by YoursChelbie in

jw
friends

there is a significant difference in the prices of houses that are built of brick exterior to comparably sized ones with vinyl exterior.

i assumed brick costs more because it's more durable, but was surprised to find that brick houses such as the one i chose at random pictured here for sale in texas actually costs over 50k dollars less than the one with the vinyl exterior in the far northern us.

both have four bedrooms.

serendipity

Lower labor costs. I think much of the labor in Texas is done by illegal immigrants who work more cheaply.

24

Online Dating etiquette

by serendipity in

i ran across this info and thought it would be good to share since there are some here who are using online dating sites like match and plentyoffish.

i've been a bit surprised by some of the men emailing me, demonstrating that this info is not common knowledge.

(i'm not suggesting that men alone are guilty.

serendipity

I ran across this info and thought it would be good to share since there are some here who are using online dating sites like match and plentyoffish.

I've been a bit surprised by some of the men emailing me, demonstrating that this info is not common knowledge. (I'm not suggesting that men alone are guilty.) There's only one additional thing I would add:

If you want to keep an email conversation going, ask a question. No questions suggests no interest.

The following is at this link:
http://www.perfectmatch.com/pepper/columns/column_Apr06.asp

I know from firsthand experience what the "Ten Commandments of Online Etiquette" should be. There are just too many nasty transgressions of common courtesy and good faith beginnings. So, here are the etiquette rules I wish everyone would live by.

One

Thou shalt be honest about your marital status and emotional availability

It's not nice to lie about your marital status or intentions. And, guess what? It's a lie which will get you thrown off most sites, certainly Perfectmatch.com. There are plenty of sites which are basically adultery.com. Go there if you need to and don't hurt innocent women and men who are emotionally honest and vulnerable. Remember, lying about your marital status makes you a lowly coward. Lying about your emotional availability, makes you a candidate for therapy.

Two

Thou shalt not use a picture that no longer looks like you

This is such a waste of time. Unfortunately, even a picture which is trying to be honest is sometimes misleading. Still, remember, you know if the picture was 10 years and 40 pounds ago. Don't set up disappointment, anger and a sense of betrayal in the first 10 seconds of meeting someone. They will like who you for being honest about who you are now. No one will want you when they are expecting the person you used to be…or perhaps, never were!

Three

Thou shalt not send too many emails to someone who has not responded

Ok, you thought the person who didn't return your email was deluded, wrong and/or a tragic mistake. Maybe so. But, three strikes and you are out. A few additional pictures, another note, but if you haven't got an answer, then leave the scene. You don't want to be seen as a stalker. And, if Perfectmatch.com sees you as one, your account will be terminated immediately.

Four

Thou shalt not be silent upon receipt of a picture

If you ask for a picture, see it, don't like it, and then didn't respond back, you are brutish or bitchy. The least you owe the person is: "Thanks for the picture. I'm respectfully moving on." You asked and they responded. Be nice about it.

Five

Thou shall not make up a lame excuse about why you are not going to follow up after a first coffee. Be at least a bit honest and let them learn something

Have some common decency and manners. If you meet someone and don't want to continue seeing them, drop them a line and say it was a pleasure, but they are not " the one". If there is something which really bothered you (they blew bubbles in your face, cleaned their nails at the table, never shut up, etc.), it wouldn't be awful to give them a little constructive feedback. If you don't want to do this, at least don't say something like, "…my husband and I decided to get back together…", especially if you are going to be back on the site and they can see you are still looking around. Be honest and straightforward. It's good manners and good character.

Six

Thou shalt not take a refusal to continue personally

Not everyone in the world is supposed to be attracted to you-and vice versa. So, don't sulk. And for goodness sake, don't say anything nasty to someone who said they weren't interested in you. Move on and be gracious about it.

Seven

Thou shalt be honest about whether or not this is an exclusive or non-exclusive situation

You don't have to say anything, if your partner doesn't ask. But if you can see he or she assumes you are being monogamous when you are not, you need to set the record straight immediately. Likewise, if you agree to a monogamous relationship, do it. No one is forcing you to make the agreement. If you give your word, be honorable about it. Don't muck up a perfectly good relationship by promising something you don't mean and can't provide.

Eight

Thou shalt not assume who will pay for what

The tradition has been the man always pays for the woman. But, traditions are changing and some men are starting to feel taken advantage of. This is especially true if there is never any reciprocity, or if the dinners and outtings are extremely expensive. Women and men should discuss their values about cost sharing early on.

Nine

Thou shalt be honest about whether or not you are every going to actually see the person you are corresponding with

There are a certain number of people who email back and forth forever, and never show up anywhere. That's not ok. The vast majority of people on Perfectmatch.com are looking for love and a lifetime soul mate. Having cold feet in the beginning is understandable. But, emailing and never connecting is dishonest. It hurts the person who trusted you to be serious about getting together if the emails went well. Cyberspace is a vehicle, not a destination.

Ten

Thou shalt not whisper promises and endearments and then disappear

Just because it is possible to disappear into Cyberspace without a trace, doesn't mean you ought to let yourself do it. Don't be romantic and promise the moon just because you know you won't have to actually deliver on what you said. Being a cyber-tease hurts people, and even damages their ability to trust in the real thing. Be honest, and be careful about what you say.

1

Shopping sabbatical

by MegaDude in

jw
friends

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070103/ap_on_re_us/shopping_sabbatical.

could you go a year without buying anything new?

some people take this a little too far!

serendipity

freegans? Is that the politically correct term for bums now?

To pay for my vacations, I take shopping sabbaticals for a large portion of the year. Works great.

27

Is it wrong to be proud of achievements?

by free2beme in

jw
friends

i don't want to have this come across as bragging, but i have to explain this to ask this question.

okay, where i work is a call center and i do sales, along with customer service.

for the last five years, out of 2500 representatives online nationally, i have been number one in sales for all months and years.

serendipity

Sounds like something that could happen where I work. I would remove the trophies and do the other things your boss asks that doesn't involve taking the promotion. If you're a union employee, is there any way you can file a grievance? It's very poor management to threaten a person with job loss if they don't want to advance.

9