tex,
you didn't mention that when this occured you had been out for 14 years and didn't care what the rule was because it didn't apply to you. as i said you reap what you sow, if you teach your child to fear being disfellowshipped, hated and murdered by jehovah at armegeddon and shunned themselves or allow others to teach them this then don't whine when they shun you. after all it isn't a suprise is it? it may be a shock. it might make you miserable. but it isn't a suprise. your father-in-law's story is a sad one, but was anyone really suprised that someone you described as going from being a mild mannered and wise elder to being a drunken, loud and obnoxious 78 year old sailor who wanted to bed anything in a skirt was dfd? how much misery did he dance on in his 50 years of annointed eldership? how many people did he shun? did your wife shun people outside her family? or was she taught that the rules only apply to families who don't have an annointed elder as the father? every family is different, every family handles these things in their own way. only hypocrites want the rules changed when it is their turn in the barrel. i don't dance on other peoples misery, but hypocrisy is another matter.
j2s