Sad. Very sad. I wonder if the elders tried to help in their "trained" way?
skeeter1
JoinedPosts by skeeter1
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6
JW Family Suicide
by Emery inabsolutely terrible,.
http://www.thestate.com/2014/01/15/3208551/2-adults-2-children-dead-in-apparent.html.
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April 2014 WT is up, more attacks on career and unbelieving family!
by EndofMysteries inhere are some highlights from the magazine.
the first article, "imitate the faith of moses", teaches how moses didn't remain in pharohs court, they then skillfully spin getting a decent paying job and career as equaling "enjoyment of sin", and how those who have "enjoyment of sin" will die at armageddon with everyone else who enjoys their job.
here are some quotes from the article.... "when tempted to engage in sinful conduct, ask, what future do i want for myself?....
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skeeter1
Hope my sister sees this article. She loved ballet when she was a wee little kid, and apparantly caught the eye of a ballet teacher who even offered her free ballet classes. She had super rarely good feet. Mum refused ballet classes because of strong devotion to JW. 55 years later, mom is dead and not being able to even do ballet is a super sore spot with my sister today.
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Well my JW elder dad has lost his job...
by BU2B inas a little background, my dad became a jw in 1980 i think, went to bethel, married my mom in 86' went back for another year and then i came along... he worked in the auto repair shop at bethel while he was there, and upon leaving, continued working in this field.
my whole life they have been the type of jw parents that tell you how you will never get to high school, never graduate it, never get married in this system, never have children in this system etc.. i say this to illustrate the end is just around the corner attitude they have always had, probably because they fully bought/buy into the hype at the conventions/wt articles.
my father has no plan in place for retirement, and he is physically slowing down doing such hard laborious work.
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skeeter1
To thine own self be true, and thou can't be false to any man. Shakespeare. Hamlet, I think.
What kind of quality relationship do you have if he's accepting only an illusion of BU2B?
Who announces to hardcore JW parents? I did. Oh, there was a blow up initially when I rejected the GEneration change in the late 90's (but hadn't attended since the 80's). "How could you, Skeeter?" "All we taught you?" That went on for a few weeks. Then, the elders and JWs came to the door, sent by my parents. I asked if my parents sent them? They said yes. I told them I wasn't interested and to stop. So, they did. Then, I went total appostate in the mid-2005's. At this point, my dad was guilty, saying that I'd be a JW if he was a better dad. To which I said, 'no, I'd be a JW if it was the true religion. it has nothing to do with your parenting.' Luckily, I was never baptised. So, I have a strained relationship of almost/quasi shunning. But, it's really strained on their end because my relatives have to hold their judgemental tongue. Only if they start on the Troof, do I start in on my side. So, that shuts them up and keeps them shut up now...for years. I am not constrained on my end of how I think about spirituality, what I do, or what I say. So by being me, I have found freedom and peace. I have defined who I am and what I think, as well as the boundaries of my family. They have deal with it. I do have to occassionally deal with their idiocracy, and it reminds me that there are worse things than being shunned. I think to myself that shunning is a blessing. LOL.
But really, perhaps your mother's comments about moving in with you were just a quick reaction to the rug being pulled out from under them. Perhaps it will soon pass, and they will find their own way.
Skeeter
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An incident in Michigan
by Mandette inan article on a jw who died from lack of blood.
family then sued.. .
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skeeter1
Let me get this straight.
1) Seek out doctors who are willing and expert enough to treat the JWs.
2) Sign a waiver to induce the JW friendly doctors do the transplant.
3) Due to no-blood stance, impose risk that the transplant might be a failure (i.e. the organ should have gone to a more suitable candidate).
4) Then, when things go wrong . . . husband sticks by the blood ban.
5) Then, hubbie has the gall to sue the doctors when her blood loss didn't support the organ and she wouldn't get a transplant.
Gee, talk about tying the doctors' hands behind their backs and then kicking them in the groin. I think these doctors (and all doctors) should think twice before accepting a JW patient. And, organ donation should consider the person's refusal to take blood products into the eligibility criteria.
Skeeter
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Are you materialistic?
by Goldiver inwhy, yes i am according to the jws.
this is an topic that has always irked me with the jws.
anyone who had a good paying job and nice things was materialistic.
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skeeter1
I attended a normal church. You know what normal Christianity's take on this is? In a nutshell, each of us is unique. Some have a talent and they use it to make money. People benefit from their talent and are willing to pay for it. Others have time. People with a talent for making money, that's great especially if they can donate so the others with time can volunteer. So, imagine this as how a church is run. The people with money build a food bank. The people with time, get local restaurants and stores to donate food, and take the food to the poor.
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Do Wills Ever Affect Shunning?
by Cold Steel ina man has several sons and daughters who are active jehovah's witnesses.
so was his wife, who died two years ago.
he has since lapsed into apostasy and has been openly critical of the governing body.
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skeeter1
Yes. Theocratic lying would probably trump shunning. They want your money. Honorable JWs would use it for Kingdom interests, like buying a brand new 4 door car. But, there are plenty of greedy JWs. From con-artists, vitamin sellers, . . . . just look at the number of government scammers in the congregation that take assistance in order to pioneer full time in the door-to-door.
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skeeter1
Well, at least this church is upfront and honest about who they are. This sign is a huge advertisement to keep most people from coming inside. Now, the JWs are different. They are sly like a fox. They believe this, but are going to have to indoctrinate someone before this message really comes into play. Organized religion is about controlling the masses, never forget that.
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Well my JW elder dad has lost his job...
by BU2B inas a little background, my dad became a jw in 1980 i think, went to bethel, married my mom in 86' went back for another year and then i came along... he worked in the auto repair shop at bethel while he was there, and upon leaving, continued working in this field.
my whole life they have been the type of jw parents that tell you how you will never get to high school, never graduate it, never get married in this system, never have children in this system etc.. i say this to illustrate the end is just around the corner attitude they have always had, probably because they fully bought/buy into the hype at the conventions/wt articles.
my father has no plan in place for retirement, and he is physically slowing down doing such hard laborious work.
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skeeter1
You are in a tough position. I feel for you. I am going to try to look at this from a tiny different perspectiv then the other posters.
JWs teach to turn their backs on non-JWs, completely turn. Others are watching you, and this could be your own children. I firmly believe that we reap what we sow. How you treat your parents is going to reflect on how you are treated in old age by your own. I am not trying to guilt you, but shunning is a learned behaviour (or, an excuse on how to act).
Your parents zealousness might be a result of another strong need. For me, both my parents were JWs. They were both severely abused in childhood. JWs offered an idealistic escape of the perfect life. For me to take that hope away from them, would be to destroy them. I see their JW involvement as a comfort.
That being said, I think now is the time for everyone to put their cards on the table. I think you and your wife have to first have a discussion (or two) about the situation. Does your parents know how you really feel about the WTS? I encourage you to tell them as gently as possible, and without breaking their own illusion of the Truth. If you kept this away from them, it would harm them should they move into your house. If you honestly tell them that you no longer support Jehovah's Organization, then they might decide it's best to not move into your house....rather than you barring them. Again, support your own viewpoint, set boundaries, and support their right to worship Jehovah by informing them that they would be living with someone who doesn't wholly support Jehovah's Organization.
The nuts and bolts of losing a job. To get unemployment benefits, your dad has to apply. In most states, you have to be actively looking for work. I've seen benefits be denied because the person said, "Oh, I'm taking a few weeks off" or "I was sick and couldn't look for work" or "I decided to go to school and work part time." What your dad tells unemployment could hurt him badly. He needs to read up on what to say. If your dad has physical or mental limitations that might prevent him from working, then he needs to get a doctor's evaluation as to whether or not he'd qualify for social security disability. It's easier to get the closer one is to retirement. He needs to apply for food stamp assistance, and whatever else the government offers in the meantime. He's paid for these benefits through his many years of working. Now, may also be the time to sell his house. Markets are up and banks are super willing to "short sale" a house especially if the breadwinner has lost his job and/or must get a job elsewhere. Talk to a real estate agent/attorney in your area. I would give him this information all under the guise of supporting his and your mom's right to independence.
Is there any different area your father could go in? How about working in a car parts shop? I know that one car parts shop was looking to sell a store, and offered to work with any potential new owner becuase the original franchisee had died. Something like this could be a great opportunity for your mom and dad. Again, support his independence by giving him ideas and alternatives.
It sounds like your mom has stunted her own growth. There are JW women who do participate outside the house. She hasn't had to do so for so long, and getting back into the workforce is super hard for these women. Perhaps your wife has some ideas on how to talk with her?
I don't know how much your familly can take on, financially and emotionally. Whatever you decide, you have to be upfront with your parents. And, they need to be upfront with you. I'm sure you don't want them living out of their car or going hungry. I knew a sister who did just that, becuase she was too proud to call her son who was no longer in the Truth. She tried to commit suicide, and went to the State mental hospital. But, if they do eventually move in with you, you are going to have to set firm boundaries.
Skeeter
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I need help in dealing with a toxic family member!!!!
by hoser ini have a close family member who is a pro in using shame to try to make me feel bad.
they are coming to stay at my place soon and the issue of me and mrs hoser not attending/ doing field service will come up no doubt.. i need some advice on how to deal with this because whenever i deal with these relatives they make me feel worthless.
it is probably part because they are jw's and jw's motivate by fear and guilt.. .
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skeeter1
I find Rub's comments very funny, as I've thought of doing similar crazy things to get hte JWs off my back. Isn't it sad that it is easier to pretend to be mentally unfit or at least religiously extreme in order to deal with JWs? I mean, in what other contezt would such an off-beat answer of acting wierd be considered? That shows you how crazy and extreme the JWs are!
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I need help in dealing with a toxic family member!!!!
by hoser ini have a close family member who is a pro in using shame to try to make me feel bad.
they are coming to stay at my place soon and the issue of me and mrs hoser not attending/ doing field service will come up no doubt.. i need some advice on how to deal with this because whenever i deal with these relatives they make me feel worthless.
it is probably part because they are jw's and jw's motivate by fear and guilt.. .
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skeeter1
I know how hard it is to deal with someone who is toxic. I go through the same thing when they want to be a guest in my house. Dread.
The person knows my position on the WTS. That's right. They know that I think the WTS is full of caca. Well, I didn't tell them exactly that. I said, "I have some major differences with the WTS. I have researched my issue thoroughly and have even talked with esteemed elders about it. No one there has ever been able to answer my questions and concerns. Either the WTS is wrong on many key issues or I have run ahead of the Organization. I refuse to think that I am so great as to have special knowledge, but I do know that the WTS is wrong on many fronts. Therefore, I can not support it at this time. Now, when YOU have decided you want to leave the WTS, then I will entertain talking with you about what in particular I have learned. However, I will not talk with you about the WTS "just becuase" I don't want to stumble your path with God in case I am wrong. Therefore, you are welcome to stay with me. I have planned some fun outings and some quiet time. The rule in my house is that you leave the Jehovah's Witnesses at the door. If you can not deal with that, then my mental stability is going t to be tested too far and I am afraid I will not be able to handle having you in my house.
If that doesn't work, just breathe through it and post here. We will be your sounding board. Sometimes, you just need to get the frustrations of a toxic family member off your chest!
Skeeter