I find Rub's comments very funny, as I've thought of doing similar crazy things to get hte JWs off my back. Isn't it sad that it is easier to pretend to be mentally unfit or at least religiously extreme in order to deal with JWs? I mean, in what other contezt would such an off-beat answer of acting wierd be considered? That shows you how crazy and extreme the JWs are!
skeeter1
JoinedPosts by skeeter1
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46
I need help in dealing with a toxic family member!!!!
by hoser ini have a close family member who is a pro in using shame to try to make me feel bad.
they are coming to stay at my place soon and the issue of me and mrs hoser not attending/ doing field service will come up no doubt.. i need some advice on how to deal with this because whenever i deal with these relatives they make me feel worthless.
it is probably part because they are jw's and jw's motivate by fear and guilt.. .
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46
I need help in dealing with a toxic family member!!!!
by hoser ini have a close family member who is a pro in using shame to try to make me feel bad.
they are coming to stay at my place soon and the issue of me and mrs hoser not attending/ doing field service will come up no doubt.. i need some advice on how to deal with this because whenever i deal with these relatives they make me feel worthless.
it is probably part because they are jw's and jw's motivate by fear and guilt.. .
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skeeter1
I know how hard it is to deal with someone who is toxic. I go through the same thing when they want to be a guest in my house. Dread.
The person knows my position on the WTS. That's right. They know that I think the WTS is full of caca. Well, I didn't tell them exactly that. I said, "I have some major differences with the WTS. I have researched my issue thoroughly and have even talked with esteemed elders about it. No one there has ever been able to answer my questions and concerns. Either the WTS is wrong on many key issues or I have run ahead of the Organization. I refuse to think that I am so great as to have special knowledge, but I do know that the WTS is wrong on many fronts. Therefore, I can not support it at this time. Now, when YOU have decided you want to leave the WTS, then I will entertain talking with you about what in particular I have learned. However, I will not talk with you about the WTS "just becuase" I don't want to stumble your path with God in case I am wrong. Therefore, you are welcome to stay with me. I have planned some fun outings and some quiet time. The rule in my house is that you leave the Jehovah's Witnesses at the door. If you can not deal with that, then my mental stability is going t to be tested too far and I am afraid I will not be able to handle having you in my house.
If that doesn't work, just breathe through it and post here. We will be your sounding board. Sometimes, you just need to get the frustrations of a toxic family member off your chest!
Skeeter
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Do you have school aged children still going to meetings?
by KateWild ini have stopped going but my son goes with his dad once a week.
my son got asked by his dad............... "do you want to be a publisher again?".
my son replies.
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skeeter1
I don't have kids that attend the meetings, but I do have kids and JW relatives who have tried to get them to the meetings and/or do informal witnessing.
I "innoculate" my kids by showing them independent thinking on JW and non-JW topics. And, my mantra is that life isn't black and white and there is always multiple, multiple sides of every story!
I've tried to learn the more mainstream viewpoints on the Bible. For example, the Memorial. My relative made a big deal about the Memorial, and said that they were the only religion that followed Jesus command to remember him. . . to my kid! I quickly reminded my kid that when we went to a Catholic church with a friend, there was taking of the bread and wine, and that Catholics (and many other religions) do this on a more frequent basis. And, I quickly reminded the relative that Jesus didn't give a time table on when to do the remembering and to go check the scripture. Of course, the JW is a "JW for feeling" and barely knows the JW spin and could not even come close to defeating me in my argument.
After that, I had a conversation with my kid in that no one is allowed to talk about the Bible/God/religion with them without me present. And, I told my JW relatives of this fact. No problem since. But, I stll keep moving on.
I also try to explain the perils of idealism (and closedmindedness which quickly follow). Idealism is throughout our culture and the pressure the group a puts on individuals to conform is unrealistic. Plus, idealistic people are often trapped in cults.
As the child approaches middle school, the teaching of past cultures comes into play. There, you can teachthe child that the past culture's gods, were just as much (if not more) revered by those ancient cultures as ours. Now, all those gods look silly, but today's people will defend their god to the hilt. In other words, I am trying to show my kids the fallacy of "My God is better than your god" thinking. And, there is higher capacity for scientific views . . .
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I Admire Norway
by metatron inhttp://news.yahoo.com/norwegians-become-crown-millionaires-oil-saving-landmark-172511178--sector.html.
wow!
what a country!.
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skeeter1
I love to visit Norway in Epcot. I've never been, but my spouse has been there and Sweden. Loves it.
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Ha, my hub wants a gift~!
by Angus Beef inhe knows i'm done, he's willing to fade.... out of the blue last night he tells me if i want to buy him a gift, he'd like the bacon bowl maker and the hamburger press (with the hollow center for fillings) so i will be buying him a valentine gift and i'm excited to be able to do it.~.
i'm looking forward to doing lots of things we couldn't do, we may have to secretly do them since we still have family in wt.
my mind is overwhelmed with excitement.... .
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skeeter1
Sounds like he likes meat!
How about making him a special dinner. One of my favorites is a Buffalo & Brie hamburger. You can get buffalo feet at grocery stores, Walmart and even my Costco has it! If you have alot more money to spend on groceries . . . elk meat. I absolutely love elk. Nothing else compares to it.
How about game tickets? That's a super nice present. Or, just splurge on the cable bill with those sports packages.
How about a pair of hiking boots and a map of neaby trails as your new Saturday "hours"?
Skeeter
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For the many who remember "just2laws," he had a massive heart attack last night...
by AndersonsInfo inand died at home in panama city beach, florida.
steve imhof, a bethelite in the 1970s and former very active elder who became a very vocal wt critic starting in 2002, was 65 years old when he died.
he was father to three children and two grandchildren.
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skeeter1
I am sorry to hear of this terrible news. Steve was the first true ex-JW I met. I wasn't sure what to expect, after all he was an evil apostate. So, I met him at a local diner and told everyone I knew where I'd be. We shared lunch at a diner in Tallahassee, him driving up on his motorcycle and wearing a jacket and blue jeans. His hair and beard are what struck me when I first met him. He had left the Truth, and appeared to be having a great time! He was a good looking man for his age, and not the ghoul my Watchtower training painted as to what an apostate must look like. I remember that he told me how he learned to respond to questions about what his religious views currently were . .. he said he responded that he felt more aligned with Eastern religion. He said that that answer got people off his back. At the time, I was still trying to find reason in the Bible and had not yet explored Eastern philosophy. I thought his answer was pure strange for a former elder! But now, I understand his view. That lunch was sometime in early to mid 2005. We talked a few times over PM or e-mail, but I never saw him again due to moving away. Steve had his own crosses to bear, not unlike each of us. Nothing and no one is perfect, and Steve, I know, understood this. RIP and Namaste, Steve. Will have to light a candle for him. Wishing his family peace through this time.
"I honor the place in you where Spirit lives
I honor the place in you which is
of Love, of Truth, of Light, of Peace,
when you are in that place in you,
and I am in that place in me,
then we are One."I t is pronounced as "Namastay" with the first two a's as the first a in "America" and the ay as in "stay", but with the t pronounced soft with the area just behind the tip of the tongue pressing against the upper-front teeth with no air passing (as the t in "tamasha").
F or Hindu(s), the greeting of choice is Namaste', the two hands pressed together and held near the heart with the head gently bowed as one says, "Namaste'". Thus it is both a spoken greeting and a gesture, a Mantr(a) and a Mudr(a). The prayerful hand position is a Mudr(a) called Anjali, from the root Anj, "to adorn, honor, celebrate or anoint." The hands held in union signify the oneness of an apparently dual cosmos, the bringing together of spirit and matter, or the self meeting the Self. It has been said that the right hand represents the higher nature or that which is divine in us, while the left hand represents the lower, worldly nature.
Skeeter
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40
New here, just wanted to say "Hello"
by Goldiver inhello all, it is nice to have a forum for former jw's and see i wasn't the only one out there having serious doubts.
my parents got into it when i was about 4 years old.
my family was part of the granville ny congregation.. my dad in time became an elder.
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skeeter1
Big welcome! Budweiser gives me headaches too.
Skeeter
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7
The Generation of 2014
by free2beme in"surely i tell you today, the generation at saw the events of 2014 will surely not pass away before the end comes.".
damn it!
someone hit the reset button, i feel we have all been here befor a hundred years ago.
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skeeter1
OMG, i think I'm going to accidentally start using that phrase with my JW relatives. . . . "Generation of 2014. .. oops, I meant the generation of 1914". LOL. Doesn't 1914 seem like a long time ago?
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Non JW girl with a JW guy
by Accio ini want to talk about my story because i need help and advice and most impirtant a lot of comfort.. one year and a half ago i met a wonderful guy.
he was really nice and supporyed me during hard moments.
i slowly fell in love with him.
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skeeter1
I second jgnat's recommendation to see a school counselor about your depression and getting help to deal with this present issue.
As a former JW, I can tell you that JWs date non-JWs. But, the catch is that they have to convert them to JW in order to get married in the Kingdom Hall. There are alot of sermons (i.e. "talks") made at various JW meetings about the spiritual perils of not marrying a JW. The two would be unevenly yoked. You see, JWs strongly believe that their religion is the only good religion on this planet that is blessed by God. They think that God has/will curse/kill all others (and all non-JWs) at Armegheddon. Simply put, God will kill a non JW wife & non JW kids at Armegheddon. They will be dead forever. It is not "rational" for a JW to get invovled with a non-JW. But, JWs do do alot of preaching and trying to convert. That's basically supposed to be their sole interaction wtih non-JW people
As far as college, JWs don't really tout college. It is lightly discouraged in their publications and open, Sunday meetings. But, when you go to a more hard-core convention (say, a Friday or Saturday session that the public usually doesn't attend), you will see how much college is discouraged. It's discouraged, officially, because a college education is worthless since God is going to soon destroy this world. What good is a profession? . . . has been the question for about 100 years. So, even if you got married to him and had kids, he sounds like he is against college. He wouldn't want his kids to go to college, and he probably isn't going to be "supportive" of any of their non-JW aspirations. This ranges to holiday celebrations, sports teams, honor societies, school clubs, debate teams, birthday parties, Boy/Girl Scouts, etc. All are off the list for children of JWs. And, since he will, technically, be the head of the household, he could get emotionally (and alot of JW men are physically violent) with you if you don't obey and allow the kids to join in such Satan inspired events.
Now, if he can get your/his kids to join him in the JWism life, he will probably get them to write you letters begging 'mom' to come to the "Truth" becuase the kids don't want to see her die at Armegheddon.....
Your life wasn't crazy before he came into it. He (and his religion) are the common denominator.
I think what you probably liked about this guy is that he was a spiritual person. That doesn't mean that there are not other guys out there that are spiritual. And, I bet you can find one that doesn't belong to a radical, doomsday cult. Go to one of those mega churches. They probably have a singles night, where young folk can mingle together. Get back out there. And, get to a school counselor.
Skeeter
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46
Head of the House?
by cofty ini often see comments by ex-jws that would suggest some men still view themselves as "head of the house".
sometimes comments from women appear to support the idea as well.. how many still see things this way or have you completely got over it?.
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skeeter1
THis morning on one of those morning talk shows, was some chick talking about her liking being submissive, and her proof of '17 years of marraige being proof that it was a good idea.' (There's alot of fallacy in that 17 year statement alone, and I just shook my head). Anyway, I think it was the Today Show. I overheard the male host while I was getting ready. He refused to comment, as it was a losing battle for him to comment. LOL.
