Head of the House?

cofty

I often see comments by ex-JWs that would suggest some men still view themselves as "head of the house". Sometimes comments from women appear to support the idea as well.

How many still see things this way or have you completely got over it?

joyfulfader

Headship was rammed down my throat for so many years that if I ever find Mr. Right it will have to be an equal partnership. Period.

prologos

we ( the 4 of us) live in a mixed marrige, she from a matrimarcal background me from laughingly accepted male headship.

wt has not overcome family traditions. Men should enjoy the freedom that comes from ladies leading. but

there are times when firmly grabbing the helm works wonders.

Each gender, sex leads in different fields. but

men have the last word:

Yes dear, --in many countries: --Yes minister,-- Yes --prime minister.

Years ago in my old KH, a senior brother answered a question and mentioned about the husband being the head of the house. Before he was even finished, his wife's hand was up and the bro on the platform called on her. He comment was....."The husband might be the head but the wife is the neck and she can turn that head anyway she wants." Everyone had a good laugh and enjoyed that comment. Sorry that they are now gone, but they were really good and down to earth people.

HappyDad

jam

Head of the house, what a joke. I don't know of any men in the borg or

out of the borg is head of the house hold. You may think you are the head

but trust me no way. Women are groomed at a early age for that position.

Observe older couples who is in charge, the woman. Think about it, most men

wouldn't be in the borg if it wasn't for their wives. I have notice the change

over the years, I am not head of this house hold. LOL

FlyingHighNow

How many still see things this way or have you completely got over it?

I've had a very good relationship with a man, since leaving the org. We've never discussed power in our relationship. We lived together for a while and we are still very dear friends who spend time together. We are adults. We don't discuss who is in charge. We work things out together and the decisions fall with the person they should be with, if we don't make them together. We enjoy the differences in our two genders, but we enjoy the sameness, too. This man comes over every other weekend and does my laundry, cleans my kitchen, helps me with my grandson. He says that since I am a single parent, he knows I need the help. He grew up in a family where his father helped a lot around the house and still does. There's none of that men's work and women's work kind of thing going on. His family is Roman Catholic, but the church does not govern the roles of his mother and father. They enjoy a pleasant equality.

Andy has taught me that men and women communicate well, harmonize well, if they are compatible, like and respect each other.

That headship thing broke up my marriage to a raised-in JW. It's sets both men and women up for deep, sometimes bitter disappointment. The only truly happy JW marriages I saw was where the couple really liked each other and headship never came up.

Dis-Member

The only elders I have ever seen that were not totally dominated, controlled, micro-managed and p*ssy whipped by their own wives were the single elders. And they were just afraid of women full stop.

All the elder sisters were great leagues ahead in terms of life experience, knowledge and maturity. If I ever needed to talk about anything I would not dream of talking to an 'elder'. I would always confide in the much older sisters who were overflowing in wisdom and compassion.

It was in fact the older sisters themselves that warned me never to go to the elders about anything as they were like little immature children and not real men at all. They were often described as being useless by these very same sisters.

jam

I saw the same thing in the borg "headship thing broke up marriages".

label licker

Just look at the body of elders in the halls. In our old ones it were definitely the wives that ran the show. We even had our fill in circuit overseer elder let his wife rearrange car groups. Right from the platform the elder would say he didn't have time to "totally" study his part and would get the correct answer from his wife. He would actually ask her without her putting her hand up for direction. Never saw any wife in subjection except this one couple who were mennonites all their lives and then they became jw's. I often wondered how the mennonite wives made subjection look like it came so naturally.

I don't see any change in me or my spouse before, during or after this religion. Life is good! Actually it's way better now that there's no religion. Just pure freedom and respect.

ShirleyW

Life in general, you men thnk you're the "King of your castle", but who's the one with the common sense and thinks thrings through, the wife.

Head of the House?

Share this