Posts by curlers

8

Ignored Aspect of Pedophilia

by Francois in

jw
friends

much has been said about pedophilia among jws, as it should be.

but there is one aspect of it that i don't remember anyone bringing up, and it's very, very telling.. in something like 95% of all cases of pedophilia, the spouse knows what's going on.

ninety five percent.

Great topic and you're absolutely right. I know from personal experience. Plus, on Oprah at the beginning of this season, Dr. Phil was doing Get Real with like 30-40 people. One was a woman/mother that had kids that been sexually abused (I don't remember exact details). When it was her turn for Dr Phil to get in her face and he's berating her that she knew something was up, she admitted she did.

Its common for the other adult to turn a blind eye. Reasons are many. A mother can feel she's now in competition with her daughter for the man's feelings whether its a bio-dad or step-dad. A lot of times in step situations a mother will rationalize its her daughter coming on to her stepdad. Or, a mother is protecting her husband in the same way as if he was a drinker and she'd call work to say he wasn't coming b/c he has the flu. Sometimes, mothers just don't want to put the dysfuntion out there b/c they'd have to take their share of responsibility.

When I told my mother what my father was doing, she did nothing except say something to him. He then got a hold of me alone and said that you've told your mother awful things and if you ever say anything like that again, I'll kill you. At least, he never touched me sexually again. My mother never said anything to me so I got abused from her as well as my father b/c she didn't protect me.

I like you Pierced Angel have two daughters 6yo & 16mo. I am pyscho about what I went through will never ever happen to my girls. I constantly talk to my 6yo about it is inappropriate for anyone to touch you in the bathing suit area.

I agree that its wrong not to protect your child.

curlers

39

Who shuns you?

by Dawn in

jw
friends

after reading a number of posts it sounds like most of you have been shunned even by your immediate family members (parents, brothers, sisters)after you were df'd.. i am shunned by my sister-in-law - but she's it out of the entire family.

my uncle, brothers, mother, and father (an elder before he passed away) all continued to associate with me - we even go out to dinners together.. so here's my question - is my family the minority?

i thought that only non-family members had to shun you but family was ok as long as they don't discuss spiritual issues.

curlers

I was Df'd in 1981 and have mostly been shunned by all my family who were JWs including my parents. JWs from KH would literally walk across the street to avoid me.

My paternal grandma who wasn't a JW influenced me not just b/c she bad mouthed them but my parents told me she'd be destroyed at Armagadden in 1975. She was the most wonderful human to ever live. My grandfather b4 JWs was a womanizer, drinker, gambler and hit my grandma. She told me she liked him better when he was like that b4 he got mixed up with the JWs. He became one when his 1st son died as an infant. They had 4 living kids and the JWs told my grandfather to leave my grandma b/c she was an unbeliever. This was in the late 1930s or early 1940s. He left but came back in a matter of weeks b/c he couldn't take care of himself. My grandma hated the JWs. She used to calling being Df'd being dismembered.

My brother has actually told me if I hadn't been bapatized and just fell away I could be included in family functions. Two of my siblings have married and I wasn't invited. My maternal grandparents had a 60th wedding anniversary and I wasn't invited. Yet that grandfather died a year later and I was invited to the funeral.

My husband has never been a JW and neither of my kids so they're accepted and I can visit now (we live 1,000 miles apart) in the guise of preaching to my husband and kids.

This is the most retarded religion in the world. I was visiting last summer and an adult female cousin was also visiting who life is sordid is invited to our uncle and aunt's for dinner and innocently asks why I can't be invited. She gets the scripture in 1Cor. about not eating with whoever. I always say this is the greatest testimony to make people want to be JW. Treating your own blood like lepers. It makes my husband angry and my 6yo is confused.

12

As Christians, do you cry?

by misty in

jw
friends

this keeps happening to me, and i want to know if i need to seek professional help?

is this normal?

since i da'd, i became a christian, and now everytime i go into hearfelt prayer or even worse, the couple of times i actually went to "an apostate" church and sing songs of praise, i start bawling like a baby.

curlers

The first time I went to a Catholic church after being df'd, I cried and thought I was losing it. Sometimes I'll go to a Christian church with praise and worship and cry. I agree its from the repression of being raised as a JW and to shun the world b/c they're evil but in reality God is love.

24

1975

by musky in

jw
friends

there has been much said about the watchtower saying that the end would come in 1975. i have never seen any evidence that the watchtower said the end would definitely come in 1975. if there was such evidence, there would certainly be little or no witnesses left today, i believe.

i do not believe that excuses the fact that they definitely put that idea in peoples heads.

i was 10 years old then.

curlers

I was 15 in 1975 and agree with the last poster that anyone that was a JW then can't say now that the WTS didn't say the end would come in 1975.

My dad and grandpa are elders from way back and grandpa was buddies with Fred Franz and the family knew Nathan Knorr. At all conventions, the pot was stirred with excitement that the end was coming in 1975.

What some don't understand is the damage this caused especially to children. My 5yo brother was told he'd never start Kindergarden. My 13yo brother was told he never go to high school. Me, at 15, was told I'd never graduate high school and being a led sheep led me to not really achieve academacially in school since it wasn't worth anything in the New System. It generated a high level of fear that 27 years later I still have problems with. It was terrifying to think of the fiery, buildings collasping, ground opening up end of the world. It's cruel the psychological trauma inflicted on people especially kids. Talk about a downer. JWs rob childhoods. That was 1975.

20

When Will District Conventions Be Abolished?

by AvailableLight in

jw
friends

the thread on cutting back the number of weekly meetings to two got me thinking:.

do you think the jw organization will continue to hold district conventions for very long?.

i wonder, how many people *really* feel upbuilt after attending a dc?

curlers

I don't remember Cedar Point but I remember the International Conventions at Yankee Stadium when they still had the polo grounds. They were like 8 days from 9am to maybe 10-11pm. It was horrible. And the lines for the ladies room averaged an hour. I don't keep up with JWs too much but I understand Circuit Assemblies are one day now. The JWs are just crazy. It was so BORING!

60

Who will go to heaven?

by misty in

jw
friends

i know that jw's say only 144,000. however, i just read a book called "as time runs out" by robert jeffress and he claims that all christians who have received jesus will be picked up at the rapture.

but, he says, we will not all have the same rank in heaven.

he claims that different responsibilities will be assigned.

curlers

This is such an interesting topic. I was raised as a JW and df'd at 20. Its so ingrained in you that its hard to think there could be other senarios. At least, you can get a basic knowledge of somethings in the Bible that the JWs don't mix-up. Also, being raised as a JW, for me, left me with no desire to belong to any organized religion. Its been 21 years and I don't trust religion. All religions, Christian, Allah and Judeo seem to deal in semanitics. Christians believe in heaven and hell and JWs believe in paradise on earth (JW version of heaven) or just death (JW version of hell.) Born-again Christians believe that a person is heaven bound when they accept Jesus as Lord and Savior, even if they're on their deathbed and have led less than a Christian life. Well, that doesn't seem fair so that leads me to believe that they're could be a ranking system where newbies would still have to be taught or prove themselves. Who knows? I think we go somewhere when we die and I'd like to believe that if there are ranks that JWs like my parents would be at the lowest rank. I know my parents are evil just misguided and I got to believe there some justice somewhere for all the pain JWs give.

31

Who has been out the longest?

by Beans in

jw
friends

i have been out since december 22 1984, 17 years,i was 16 and never looked back!

and thats when apostacy was in the early stages and am now a full fledged member!.

beans

curlers

It was 21 years since January, 1981. What a waste of a childhood!

110

Memorial No Shows...Please Check in....

by ISP in

jw
friends

well, i was tempted but i decided not to go to the most bizarre religious ritual of modern times....how about you?.

isp

curlers

Got invited by my brother and grandmother. Didn't go That's 19 misses.

15

Oprah today...March 28

by Mulan in

jw
friends

did anyone see oprah's show today?

it was awesome!!!

all about the catholic church and pedophiles.

curlers

Just my 2 cents. I saw Oprah and was really offended that it was suggested that priests having to be celibate could contribute to the problem. Dubs can marrying and pedophiles are rampant in the "Society." I did like the response from one guest, Do priests become pedophiles or do pedophiles become priest. I'm pissed about the pedophiles among dubs but according to a recent study, pedophiles hide in youth religious organization among all denomations to get victims. Since Oprah is against child abuse, maybe she'd do a central show on the issue including dubs. I, also, like that they'd like to make the Catholic church report pedophile priests to the police. Could you image if dubs had to do this?

22

Wow! I'm so glad I found you all.

by curlers in

jw
friends

i was raised 3rd generation dub.

my dad is an elder as his dad was and my brother and the other brother is ms on the way to elderhood.

i'm df for 21 years when i was 20. the only credit i can give my parents is they're crazy would be whether they were catholic, buddist or atheist.

curlers

I'm new here. I was raised 3rd generation dub. My dad is an elder as his dad was and my brother and the other brother is MS on the way to elderhood. I'm DF for 21 years when I was 20. The only credit I can give my parents is they're crazy would be whether they were Catholic, Buddist or atheist. My parents believed in coporal punishment and my brother and I got a beating on a daily basis.

Recently, my younger brother told me my dad had gotten called on the carpet by his fellow elders in the late 70's for his excessive use of force on his kids which he did at home and in the KH. At this time, the law and schools were getting involved if they thought there was abuse at home. Didn't help me or my older brother but at least my younger brother and sister weren't beat as much.

I was 5yo when I thought the religion was BS. My paternal grandma was Lutheran and the best, most wonderful person in the world. My parents told me she'd die at Armagadden. At school, there was only one other dub family and it seemed so condesending that only we'd survive and everyone else would die at Armagadden which, of course, was coming before I'd graduate high school so why do good in school. I was 7 or 8 and I said to my brother, wouldn't it be something if everyone survives except dubs at Armagedden.

I never believed in the religion but there was no alternative b/c of my dad's beatings. If you did question a dub doctrine, his response would be a punch in the head. Like an idiot, I got baptized at 13. I got DF's b/c I wasn't a virgin, smoked, drank, bars, etc... but most of all I asked to be DF'd b/c I had no commitment in something I didn't believe in. I did whatever while I was suppose to be shopping, working late, etc... I never cursed at my parents, stayed out all night, got arrested.

I get the major shunning. My parents kick me out that day, a Tuesday, and another elder tells my dad to give me to the end of the week. I couldn't stay with the worldly guy I was seeing. I'd found a place by Friday. So, I'm living my life and only 2 or 3 months ago, I'm talking to my younger brother.

My sibling and I are psychologically screwed up b/c of my parents and the religion. My younger brother just doesn't understand why I've had to do the things I've done. I was publicly reproved when I was 18. He's asking me why I confessed. I'm like I don't know. Our parents seem to know. He says, they'd had their doubts and they had our phone tapped. I lost it. I'm parent for 6 years. I can't imagine.

Somehow, I've had some stupid respect or was scared but I never investigated JWs. Right after my brother left, I did a search of anti-JWs.

Now comes the good part. I always felt I would be vindicated and justified someday if everyone knew that I had been molested by my real father, the elder. A very similar story to the girl's story in England that just came out. Imagine my surprise that this is rampant.

I've lurked on the boards for the past 2 months with a sense of being overwhelmed with all the information. My parents told us when we were kids that we were no good, blah, blah, blah. Since being DF'd its horrible.

I never could understand why anyone would want to be reinstated after they're shunned. Dubs are the biggest hypocrits and most unloving group. Yet, I got a memorial invite from my younger brother and grandmother.

Of course, there's more but thanks for all the information.

curlers