Posts by onacruse

20

ITS SO NICE TO SEE LIKE MINDS~ I THINK?

by radicalthoughts in

.

i'm sorry to see so many likes minds as mine...i think~~anyway..i am a red blooded american male looking for love...but how do i explain where i was, or what i thought, am why i am a little confused about certain subjects.

and does this mean i must find a wtsociety throwaway as myself to be understood...because i'm afraid to explain this to anybody...do want to be in a str8 jacket..lol anyways ..its so nice to meet ya all....rad.....

onacruse

<<thwacks mac real, REAL hard up side the head>>

LOL.....ain't giving you NO MORE info!

20

ITS SO NICE TO SEE LIKE MINDS~ I THINK?

by radicalthoughts in

.

i'm sorry to see so many likes minds as mine...i think~~anyway..i am a red blooded american male looking for love...but how do i explain where i was, or what i thought, am why i am a little confused about certain subjects.

and does this mean i must find a wtsociety throwaway as myself to be understood...because i'm afraid to explain this to anybody...do want to be in a str8 jacket..lol anyways ..its so nice to meet ya all....rad.....

onacruse

Ruby....you ask if any couples have met on this board. Well, I've met someone on this board.....well, er....actually, I haven't met her yet, but we will meet in exactly 215.567 hours!

OFFICAL NOTICE: Palm Desert, California.....ignore all earthquake warnings from 7:31 pm Sep 20 through 8:07 pm Sep 22!!!!

(It's now exactly 7:57 pm)

Craig (of the totally twitterpated class, and loving it!!!!)

30

I cant move on!!!!!

by In_between_days in

jw
friends

well guys, i just cant do it.

for a long time now i have been trying to get on with my life and try to forget the rage and hurt i feel at the wtbs.

my resignation from the board a few weeks back was part of this.

onacruse

Once again, it just blows me away how much good advice we can find on this board!!!! I agree with everything said above, and would like to add a thought about my own progress in getting rid of the anger....

I've always been and "all or nothing" kind of person....absolute, unconditional, total committment to the whatever I was doing. Fall in love....completely; work to do....till I drop from exhaustion; study for a meeting or class...try to comprehend all the subject matter printed since the dawn of time. Part of the addictive personality that I have and which was fostered by being a JW.

Now, I take each little part and piece as it comes to me, deliberately try to keep it simple, don't over-analayze, and especially....stop myself and say "How do I FEEL about this?" instead of "What do I THINK about this?" And, as I take those issues one at a time, turn them over in my heart and head....try as hard as I can to accept how I feel and let the resolution come naturally, and let myself feel good about that resolution. Losing the indecision, guilt and regret takes away so much of the fuel for anger.

Sorta like having a big ugly boulder right in the middle of the landscape of my life....I've tried to blow it up, I've tried to bulldoze it over the side of the cliff, I've tried to cover it over with ivy and pretend it's not there. Well, none of those ideas worked. So now, each day, and one day at a time, I just go out there with my little hammer and break off a piece here and a piece there, and can go to sleep in peace, knowing that sooner or later that boulder is gonna be nothing more than a pile of dust!

Craig

17

Formula for a perfect marriage

by BoozeRunner in

it is important to find a woman that cooks and cleans.

2. it is important to find a woman that makes good money.

3. it is important to find a woman that likes to have sex.

onacruse

I just found that special lady!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Or, I should say, she found me, grabbed me by the heart........I'm down for the count!!!!!!

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((KATIE)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

23

Rebound Relationships

by onacruse in

i really don't know where to start with this....it's so personal, and i'm so confused.

when i left bethel, i was a basket case, and married my first wife while i was still in mental/emotional limboland.

i loved her from the bottom of my heart (as best i can imagine what that means), and meant what i promised "till death do us part.

onacruse

Wow! I came home from work yesterday, and did my usual routine....glass of wine and hit the board. So many responses!!! THANKS! Was gonna post back then, got sidetracked.

Well, life and love sometimes have a way of taking their own course, in spite of any advice we get. And, that's what's happening with me right now!

Let me just say that in a couple of weeks I'm flying down to meet bikerchic!

Stay tuned

Craig

23

Rebound Relationships

by onacruse in

i really don't know where to start with this....it's so personal, and i'm so confused.

when i left bethel, i was a basket case, and married my first wife while i was still in mental/emotional limboland.

i loved her from the bottom of my heart (as best i can imagine what that means), and meant what i promised "till death do us part.

onacruse

OUTLAW:"If it doesn't feel right, it's not." Yes, indeed....but my first 2 marriages felt soooooo right, at least to begin with, and for some time after. That's part of my fear.....will what feels so right to begin with endure? Heck, how would any of us know that anyway? lol Just pay the dime, and take the chance, I guess.

Fe2O3: I have many, many happy memories of my 26 married years! And, I still feel fondly for Judy and Susan. Part of my dilemna, in fact...I know that being married gives me great satisfaction and peace of heart. It's the vulnerability to pain and disappointment that gives me pause, and not primarily for my sake.

Tish: "live your life" Yeah, I'm still staggering in that direction...which is why the term "rebounding" came to mind....kinda like bouncing back and forth between the walls

Thanks to you all for your feelings!

Craig

13

An adorable surprise tonight....

by Mimilly in

jw
friends

i was so tired tonight and could barely wait to snuggle up with my diego.

for some reason, probably the neverending headache, or the neverending thinking and analyzing process - i laid there wide awake while my two dogs snored.

how rude!

onacruse

Mim, I loved it tonight when you came into chat and told us about these cute little coons on your deck!! We used to have a lot more little critters like that here in Portland, OR, before we started getting so citified. grrrrrr

Makes me wish I was out in the country! :)

24

Dream of Going Back

by professor in

jw
friends

i awoke from sleep about a half hour ago from a dream in which i returned to the witnesses.

i had become so upset from losing my family and friends that i decided to return and seek reinstatement even though secretly in my heart i did not believe (i was trying to fool the elders).. i awoke from the dream with illusions of actually following through with this idea.

it took me about 5 minutes to arrive at reality.

onacruse

fwiw, I was myself used an example of this very thing. Shortly after I was rei'd in in 1981 (just after the post '75 apostate purge) the elders used me (anonymously) as an example of this very thing. I was sitting in the 5th row back at the circuit assembly, wife by my side, as 2 of the elders from my JC looked down at me from the stage (everybody KNEW who they were talking about) and made similar comments. I had repented! I was sorry! I was wrong!

Like nilfun said, this was all part of staging the assembly, getting kudos from the CO and DO for ferreting out such a fine specimen of recalcitrance. And I was a willing part.

SHEESH!

On-A-Cruise (of the "paddling as fast as I can to get away from that brain-death" class)

23

Rebound Relationships

by onacruse in

i really don't know where to start with this....it's so personal, and i'm so confused.

when i left bethel, i was a basket case, and married my first wife while i was still in mental/emotional limboland.

i loved her from the bottom of my heart (as best i can imagine what that means), and meant what i promised "till death do us part.

onacruse

((cheryl)) No apologies necessary. Your thoughts gave me the courage to even start this thread.

23

Rebound Relationships

by onacruse in

i really don't know where to start with this....it's so personal, and i'm so confused.

when i left bethel, i was a basket case, and married my first wife while i was still in mental/emotional limboland.

i loved her from the bottom of my heart (as best i can imagine what that means), and meant what i promised "till death do us part.

onacruse

I really don't know where to start with this....it's so personal, and I'm so confused. But, here goes....

When I left Bethel, I was a basket case, and married my first wife while I was still in mental/emotional LimboLand. I loved her from the bottom of my heart (as best I can imagine what that means), and meant what I promised "till death do us part." After 9 years, that was gone..she had an affair with and married an elder "friend" of mine. Two years later I remarried (again in a state of traumatic shock)...I NEEDED a life-companion. That lasted 17 years (we even made a mutual non-divorce "death-pact", as it were), until I was df'd, and it became apparent that the only thing we had in common was the "truth." As per her request, we divorced (final 4 mos ago). <<leaving out a lot here>>

So, here I am, a young 50, and I don't want to live alone for the rest of my life. But, quite frankly, I'm AFRAID! Afraid of making a wrong decision, afraid of making the same mistakes I've made before, and, mostly, afraid of hurting someone else.

Thoughts? Advice? Experiences?

edit for PS: This is not a hypothetical question...I've met someone who means a lot to me, just don't know where to go from here.

Thanks,

Craig

Edited by - onacruse on 6 September 2002 4:5:6