"Many of them believe that we weren't "genuine" converts, that our profession was somehow narrow and insincere, that we weren't "really saved" and thats why our faith did not persist. But if my conversion was insincere, then I can't fathom what sincere conversion is.
See if this sounds familiar: I was converted when I came to believe I was a sinner separated from God, who could not pay the debt of my own sin, and that Christ had come to die in my place on the cross, to restore me to God. When the realization of this hit me, it was like I'd been hit in the head by a bolt of lightning. I believed it and accepted it with all my heart, and I asked Jesus that very moment, with every ounce of sincerity in my body, to come into my heart and save me and cleanse me and purify me and sanctify me and keep me from temptation.
At that moment I had the same conversion experience that so many other Christians have had, and that so many cling to so desperately in the final death throes of their faith. It was a genuine transcendant experience. I felt I was in the very loving embrace of God, like a newborn baby in its mother's arms, completely safe, completely secure, not a doubt, not a worry, not a single fear. I wept at the beauty of it all. How much more sincere can one be? Must one weep tears of blood?
And yet, now in the face of the irrationality of this belief system, not even an experience as powerful as this can convince me of its truth. Because, you see, it wasn't long before that pure, loving, wonderful experience was trampled upon by the juggernaut of Christian dogma and guilt."
The above is part of the first deconversion story to be found on a website entitled, 'Losingmyreligion.com', in the section, 'Letters from ex-Christians'. If you're an exiting JW thinking about joining a different church, please become familiar with this site. Another very therapeutic site for disllusioned Christians is entitled, 'The Joy Of Disillusionment'. Good luck.
