Cutaway wrote: I remember every situation like this being given the same scriptural admonition;, "Win your wife/husband over, without a word".
The end results of 10, 20 , 30 years of this spriitual "silent treatment", can be alienation, unhappiness, wasted lives, and many times, the death of what God had joined together.
Wow. I NEVER heard this scripture interpreted to mean 'give them the silent treatment'. In fact, just the opposite. I always took 'without a word' to mean 'without preaching, harping, nagging, etc'.
In context the scripture does not seem to indicate a dispassionate shrew but, rather, an involved and attentive spouse (wife) trying to win over an 'unbelieving' spouse with kindness and radiant inner beauty.
The more-loving interpretation of this scripture was a running theme in my family when asked how they came into the 'truth':
Before my parents started studying, we hosted some international visitors for the 1969 convention in NYC. Four adults stayed with us for 3 weeks. My dad had just one rule for them: No Preaching.
And so it was. They could talk about any other subject than the Bible and their religion. Because of the respect they showed for my father's request (demand?), it softened my parents to the message that was later presented by other local witnesses with the result that they were baptized at the very next summer convention.
I cannot imagine what it would be like to live for a week with someone who is so distant and alienated from me. After a month I would want to hang myself - or leave. Cannot even begin to imagine what 10 - 20 - 30 YEARS would be like. OMFG~!!
But back to the OP. Finding fun, upbuilding, interesting activities for each of you is a much better use of time than harping on the dissonance. Letting the 'believing' spouse have their space and creating a 'safe' environment where they can let their hair down can be a much easier path than forcing them to keep on alert for breaches in their spiritual armor.
Good Post. I think it's an important discussion. One that should be BTTT'd often.
Cutaway - Welcome to JWN! Really nice to have you join us and join in the discussion. Looking forward to hearing more from you in the future.
-Aude.