Freedom to express
to live
to give
Freedom is earned? No.
That's respect
Freedom is free for all
Information is not knowledge
Knowledge is what you make of the information
And freedom is yours to do with what you will
Open your arms and embrace it
And don't be afraid of your freedom
Angel
i received this recently from my mother.
the only contact i've had with any of my family since october has been an occasional email.
you are 28 years old and you made the choice to put yourself, and us, in this position.
It sucks for me to have to say it, even, but after reading that letter, I would suggest turning it right back to her.
If she loved you so much, she would have realised how much you were hurting inside, and understand what a sacrifice you made by leaving. It's awful to have to do it that way, but when someone sees it through your eyes, they tend to be a little bit more understanding afterward. Let her know that you love her and all that, because you haven't changed, and neither have they. You just chose a different direction than they did. Show her that you're still the same person, and that you do still love her, but everyone has different beliefs. She needs to understand that first and foremost. Everyone can't agree ALL the time. When that is pointed out, it should hopefully make things easier.
Angel
something to pass the time.
something to record the words and thoughts .
we've all been victims of crimes.
MM:
Great words. Who is that one by?
Angel
in light of the recent discussions on the death penalty in america i got to thinking.
i wonder about the commandment thou shalt not kill.
don't all christians subscribe to this?
Heya, Julie,
If you look at the origins of christianity, the Old Testament is mostly an eye for an eye justice. Maybe that's why the death penalty is acceptable.
It's only a thought. Pure speculation.
Angel
something to pass the time.
something to record the words and thoughts .
we've all been victims of crimes.
OK.. Some more words, actually by request. :)
This is something I read a while back, and the quote is powerful.
It's taken from Jonathan Livingston Seagull by Richard Bach
"The last point was the telling one, and Sullivan was right. 'The gull sees farthest who flies highest.'"
Ultimately, this could be a mantra. By getting above the problems, we can see all of the possibilities.
If you haven't read the book, then I highly recommend it.
Life in general throws a lot at you, but it's all in how we perceive the situation that lets us solve the issues at hand. When we get "above" the problem, we get to see all the aspects of the problem, and then we get to see how it's solved. It's a matter of separating ourselves from our own day-to-day run-around.
There's my tidbit du jour.
:) Hope it helps to solve someone's problem today. :)
Angel
i'm having a crisis in my family and really need some advice and even (((())))!.
background:.
daughter is 28-yrs-old.
Dana,
I wish you the best of luck with your continuing recovery. I've had friends who were and are alcoholics, I suppose at one point I was probably one, given the guidelines for the definition of an alcoholic. Alcohol never left me needing more, however, and the best way for me to deal with it was to just cut back on my drinking habits. MUCH easier that heroin. And very well-said regarding the addiction in relation to family. I loved my family dearly. I would do anything for them. I felt ashamed of my drug use because I knew it was hurting them, yet my physical symptoms wouldn't allow me to stop. I never realised that the way I was feeling mentally was also a heroin side-effect.
I finally went to a psychiatrist for my manic depression, and was prescribed Zoloft first. The ride was not a fun one. I became a psychological guinea pig at that point. They started trying different combinations of drugs on me. One day I found myself in the hallway of my old apartment staring at the phone jack and drooling on myself. That was the point I just stopped taking everything they had me on, and told my doctor that I had quit cold turkey, that enough was enough. That worried them. They tried Celexa next, with much better results, but still there were too many negative side effects to justify the positive ones. I finally decided to stop taking everything, and see what happened.
Luckily I found someone who understood everything I was going through, and we helped each other in many ways. neither one of us has touched alcohol in three months since we met. Two years clean from heroin for me, three months clean from alcohol for both of us (well, one drink a month we'll let each other have, just so we'll never be cheap dates. :) )
When you have support to help you through the rough times, you would be amazed at what can be accomplished. I haven't needed to take Celexa since I met my significant other. My mood swings are less frequent, and when they do happen, I let them out and he holds me til they pass. It's wonderful to know that I have my family's and his support through everything.
Finding this board has helped me to see many things through others' eyes. To walk in another's shoes, and see the perspectives of many different people. And for the first time, I'm really "seeing" what my mother and family must have gone through. I always had an inkling, but now I see it "in the flesh" so to speak. My main prayer is that I have helped out in some small way, and to know that I at least made the attempt. Understanding comes through knowledge, and vice versa.
Any assistance I can give will be freely given if it will create a happy ending for everyone. :)
*still keeping fingers crossed for Pat*
Angel
the arrogance is tolerable.
there is never a good time to call someone a name.sorry, ginny, just calling it like i .
see it, and enough people agreed with me to let me know that i wasn't.
hey all,
just thought i would say hello and be friendly to everyone.
Angel
something to pass the time.
something to record the words and thoughts .
we've all been victims of crimes.
Big Jim,
I like it. I like it a lot. :)
It frames the hypocrisy and ultimate brain-washing that happens, not just in JW society, but in most other religions. The sense of freedom is wonderful and frightening. Wonderful because you open your eyes in the morning and know that you won't ever have to answer to anyone if you don't want to. Frightening because you open your eyes in the morning and realise there's no more opinions being forced on you, and you get to form your own... It's like waking up from a terrible nightmare and you have to keep checking under the bed to make sure none of it has followed you into the waking world.
Bravo!! Encore!
Angel
i'm having a crisis in my family and really need some advice and even (((())))!.
background:.
daughter is 28-yrs-old.
Pat,
I feel your pain, both on the needing to care for the children, both from the daughter standpoint as well as the grandkids standpoint.
Speaking as a former user of heroin, you ultimately have to try to step into your daughter's shoes, just for a moment, no matter how upset you may be with her. From experience, I can tell you what heroine does: it makes you feel like everything is peaceful and there are no worries at all. Everything seems to be at peace in your life, and you want to just sit there and relax, soak it all up.
It's a sense of peaceful euphoria.
The downside, of course, is waking up the next morning after the drug starts to leave your system. It HURTS. Picture the worst hangover known to mankind and multiply that by 1000. If you ever had a migraine, imagine that all throughout your body. You want to curl into a ball and die, anything to make that horrible pain stop.
It's even worse when you have loved ones on top of that, and shame, paranoia, and pride all take hold. You know you're hurting them, and your body is telling you to stop hurting it and get some more. Heroin is a lot easier to get than you would think. My habit was free because my friends were junkies, and when they nodded, they wanted company. I could pretty much get anything if I was in the right place at the right time. I swore that the day I needed to actually PAY for the drugs was the day that I was officially a drug fiend. Little did I realise just how fast you get addicted to heroin. Your body goes through DT's from just one dose. I'd been a regular user of prescription drugs before that (they were prescribed for my stomach problems, and just general anxiety attacks), but no one told me they were addictive, and the bottle said take as needed. Next thing I knew I was detoxing when I tried to stop taking them. Heroin detox is a lot like that, but worse.
I took heroin because I was miserable at the time. I'd heard that you coul overdose on the first try, and it made no difference to me because the way I looked at it, it was a way out either way.
I made it through my addictions with help from my family. If they hadn't been there for me, I most likely would have killed myself through overdose instead of just going through the detox pain. They gave me something to live for. I understand that you're probably furious with your daughter for doing what she's done, and it's understandable. I was mad at myself for the longest time. Especially after seeing friends die from overdoses.
What I'm attempting to say is, first and foremost, try to understand your daughter's pain. You don't have to stop being mad at her, just try to be there when she comes back around. It won't be easy. It wasn't easy for my mother, and I didn't even have kids. I'm happy to say that I've been drug free for about two years now. The past has been left in the past, and I've gotten on with my life and a successful career. It wasn't easy. You have to want to succeed at it. You have my support and I'll be happy to give you my email address if you want to vent to me. Just keep a smile for your daughter and show you support her, and she'll be alright in the end. This timeframe is going to be the hardest of all, for both of you.
As to the children, this will be very rough on them as well. Try not to vent to them about their mother. If your daughter really doesn't want the children, then by all means ask her to give you custody. If she wants them, however, you taking them away might only make her problems worse, sad to say. From my own standpoint, I've been as careful as possible regarding birth control, etc., because I've always felt that if a child comes from me, it should be intentional and wanted.
Ending, just from the standpoint of a former druggie, don't give up hope. With love and caring, you, your daughter, and the children can get through this. It will be a rough road. The end of the journey is worth it, however. My mother and I are closer than we ever were before. Once I got straight, I saw things from her perspective, and I realised how selfish I had been. We gained a better understanding of each other.
For the immediate problem that you face, the two week vacation might not be a bad idea. If possible, try to re-open the lines of communication with your daughter, and let her know that you're there for her, but you won't be a doormat. Tell her how you feel, and ask her for her point of view. I think you'll find that she is most likely in the same frightening place that I was in not all that long ago.
Is there any way you could possibly hire a babysitter instead of a daycare? Someone you know in your neighborhood who could use the extra cash? Someone you trust, who you know likes children?
I hope everything works out for you, and I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you and your daughter, and the children.
something to pass the time.
something to record the words and thoughts .
we've all been victims of crimes.
A little clarification...
I guess I can see how this could be mistaken as a solely poetry type of thing, I did post as a little bit of poetry, afterall.
I would like to chat with creative types, and poetry and prose is a good way of bringing people in and getting a discussion going about life in general.
So, mainly I guess what I'm doing a terrible job of saying is, if poetry is the way you communicate, feel free to put it that way. If song lyrics are the way you communicate, feel free to post them. If you just feel like rambling off your emotions, feel free. Philosophy is the child of Poetry, and vice versa. :)
At the moment, my outlook is a relatively cheerful one. My writing can't exactly be called "poetry" anyway. :) It's more free-form mental spewings.
So, what thoughts do y'all have on life in general? Brushes with death, etc.? I have a few stories, if you'd like to hear them.
Angel
