Dana,
I wish you the best of luck with your continuing recovery. I've had friends who were and are alcoholics, I suppose at one point I was probably one, given the guidelines for the definition of an alcoholic. Alcohol never left me needing more, however, and the best way for me to deal with it was to just cut back on my drinking habits. MUCH easier that heroin. And very well-said regarding the addiction in relation to family. I loved my family dearly. I would do anything for them. I felt ashamed of my drug use because I knew it was hurting them, yet my physical symptoms wouldn't allow me to stop. I never realised that the way I was feeling mentally was also a heroin side-effect.
I finally went to a psychiatrist for my manic depression, and was prescribed Zoloft first. The ride was not a fun one. I became a psychological guinea pig at that point. They started trying different combinations of drugs on me. One day I found myself in the hallway of my old apartment staring at the phone jack and drooling on myself. That was the point I just stopped taking everything they had me on, and told my doctor that I had quit cold turkey, that enough was enough. That worried them. They tried Celexa next, with much better results, but still there were too many negative side effects to justify the positive ones. I finally decided to stop taking everything, and see what happened.
Luckily I found someone who understood everything I was going through, and we helped each other in many ways. neither one of us has touched alcohol in three months since we met. Two years clean from heroin for me, three months clean from alcohol for both of us (well, one drink a month we'll let each other have, just so we'll never be cheap dates. :) )
When you have support to help you through the rough times, you would be amazed at what can be accomplished. I haven't needed to take Celexa since I met my significant other. My mood swings are less frequent, and when they do happen, I let them out and he holds me til they pass. It's wonderful to know that I have my family's and his support through everything.
Finding this board has helped me to see many things through others' eyes. To walk in another's shoes, and see the perspectives of many different people. And for the first time, I'm really "seeing" what my mother and family must have gone through. I always had an inkling, but now I see it "in the flesh" so to speak. My main prayer is that I have helped out in some small way, and to know that I at least made the attempt. Understanding comes through knowledge, and vice versa.
Any assistance I can give will be freely given if it will create a happy ending for everyone. :)
*still keeping fingers crossed for Pat*
Angel