For those of you who have left the JW and have had your friends? shun you. How did you feel when some of the friends that shunned you also left the JW and contacted you wanting to still be friends? Did you find it hard resuming a relationship with them? Were you able to "forgive them" for treating you cruelly? Or did you consider other people that befriended you (worldly people such as I) and loved you for yourself (ex-JW or whatever) your true friends? Or do you have mixed emotions?
Darkhorse
JoinedPosts by Darkhorse
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13
How do you deal with dub friends?
by In_between_days ini would like to take the opportunity to thank everyone for their replys to my thread titled "i cant move on", and express my gratitude for your genuine and helpful advise.. i am happy to say that i am certainly in the process of moving on and healing the wounds that have been inflicted by the wt.
there is only one problem that remains............. i have a few dub friends who i do still consider to be very good friends.
i made a decision that i would never try to push my discoveries of the curroption within the org on them, and keep our conversations very neutral.
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11
why shun me?
by happy2b ini can't seem to change my font, size or color!!
i hope you can, oh there it goes!...hehe!!
anyway, i keep reading about why jw's are suppose to shun us, but it always says to shun sinners, adulters, drunkards, etc.......... okay, i sorta get that.
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Darkhorse
I'm one of the "outsiders - the unclean or whatever".
As far as persecution, it seems the JW's have got it confused. They are not persecuted for their beliefs, they persecute those who are not of their faith, and heaven forbid those who were JW's that decided they did not share similar beliefs. "Worldly" people such as myself are just doomed at the end of time, but we are exempt from the shunning. From what I read, we are not worth anything, but some JW (I am not including all JW) speak and deal with us only because they may have too at times. But we do not get the shun look.
I think the practice of shunning is the most cruelest, coldest, ignorant thing I have ever heard of. The JW say they do it out of love, sounds like rubbish to me. I could never treat somebody I loved or liked in that manner.
I really think they shun people because they just do not know how to handle somebody who has the courage to have a mind of their own. They do it because all the other JW's do it. Probably some are scared that if they do not shun, they may be viewed by others as "weak" or so. I have read the JW say they shun in order that the so called "loved one" will return to the flock. As far as calling themselved a flock, that is true because they have a flock mentality. Sheep have no minds of their own and are creatures that scare easily - if the leader of the flock runs off a cliff, the other members of the flock will follow to their deaths in a pileup.
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21
Is 40 too old for a tattoo????
by mamashel inok, as you know, i am a wife, mother of 6 and almost 40 years old.
i have had this urge to get a tattoo for about 3 years now.
shelley
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Darkhorse
If you really want a tattoo, get one. There are many pretty ones to choose from.
I do not have only, only because I am a real weeney about needles. My best friend has some neat ones (3) and she is over forty. She had a small rose, a small flower with a humming bird, and a small unicorn. I think one is on a shoulder blade, side of her knee, and ankle.
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WT Oct 1-nothing has changed in the past 15 years
by refiners fire inwell the dubbies have me as a backcall, and like little clockwork robots they turned up exactly 2 weeks after the previous visit.
i saw them coming this week.
expected them even.
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Darkhorse
Uh oh, looks like me of the "worldly variety" is still a Jezebel and unclean (geez, I take a shower daily - don't see what's the problem).
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7
Disfellowshipping Procedure Changes
by WTLies inhas there been any changes as of late in the way the judical committe operates?
i was just in email with a dub that assured me that the elders no longer make decision to disfellowship but instead it's made at the society.
the elders only recommend.
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Darkhorse
Hello WTLies.
Question - how would you and your committee go about trying to determine if a person was repentant? Did they have to meet some sort of criteria? So you and the others were like a judge and jury. Just curious, I am not a JW.
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"Free" Home Bible Studies
by Farkel inthis phrase has been part of the watchtower landscape since i can remember, so that spans a half-century.
dubs say it like it really means something special.. ever know any other christian faith that actually charged for home bible studies?
ever know any other christian faith that charged for books for that free home bible study(tm)?.
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Darkhorse
Oh yes, the "free" home bible study. Yes, each year my hubby and I receive in the mail a "handwritten invitation" from the KH down the street from us (about 7 miles) - we are not JW's. We get invited to the Sunday Service annnnnnd to have a "free bible study".
Wow!!!!!Nothing is every free that is for sure, and I can tell from reading all you ex-JW's and thinking about leaving JW's posts that the "free bible study" cost you a lot.
We did not get an invite or an offer from the KH this year - guess it is because my hubbie and I never took them up on the offer and they probably got tired of wasting the postage on us. The JW's do not go door-to-door in our town - they are required to get peddlar's liscenses.
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Are the Disassociated shunned?
by NotBlind inon a whim, i recently visited the jw media site and found this question in their beliefs faq at http://www.jw-media.org/beliefs/beliefsfaq.htm:do you shun former members?those who simply leave the faith are not shunned.
if, however, someone unrepentantly practices serious sins, such as drunkenness, stealing, or adultery, he will be disfellowshipped and such an individual is avoided by former fellow-worshipers.
every effort is made to help wrongdoers.
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Darkhorse
Ozzie, thanks for the reply.
I checked out the link and read the 1st chapter of COC, I will purchase that book.
Yes, I do ask many questions - I would have made a louzy JW. Probably would not have made it through too many bible studies because of my questioning - I think they would have given me the boot pretty quick, right?
Have a wonderful day!
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Are the Disassociated shunned?
by NotBlind inon a whim, i recently visited the jw media site and found this question in their beliefs faq at http://www.jw-media.org/beliefs/beliefsfaq.htm:do you shun former members?those who simply leave the faith are not shunned.
if, however, someone unrepentantly practices serious sins, such as drunkenness, stealing, or adultery, he will be disfellowshipped and such an individual is avoided by former fellow-worshipers.
every effort is made to help wrongdoers.
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Darkhorse
I have a few questions regarding DA'd and shunning (I am not a JW).
What happens in the case of a person who does not attend the Sunday meetings because they have to work, or take kids to sports, or want to do other things other than attending the meeting? The same would go for weekly meetings? In a sense, is this person DAing themselves or is it considered more of a fading away?
Does the congregation consider this person a "slacker" and treat him/her less favorably? Or depending upon the "type of congregation" it is - liberal or conservative - over look the missed meetings, etc and still treat the person well?
I find this interesting especially in the case of a community in which it is hard to go into hiding when you have kids in the same school and run into those same people at his/her place of employment.
Can there be a "middle ground" if a person has not been "officially DF'd" or is it pretty black and white which appears to be the thinking of most JW's. A person is either "in" or "out".
The original poster got me to thinking.
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24
Inactive.....but curious....
by ScoobySnax ini was just thinking after reading some of the posts, and wanted to ask you something..... do any of you feel, and i mean right in the back of your minds, that jws might still have the true faith (truth).
i've been inactive for a few years now and don't attend meetings at the kh, apart from the memorial, and occasional convention.
please don't shout me down, its just that to me, even though i've been out for a while and my reasons for "drifting" away were very painful to me, i don't feel as the majority do here.
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Darkhorse
It is normal to have feelings of doubt and wondering if you are really doing the right thing, that it was not so bad, etc.
Eventhough I have never been a JW, I was in an abusive marriage (not now). When I first left my abusive spouse, after a period of time I had similar feelings that you are now experiencing, I returned to him.
Try to examine your feelings, what are you feeling, and why?
Remember back when you first started thinking about becoming inactive, what caused your doubts about staying with the JW's?
What event(s) finally caused you to become inactive?
Think about those reasons before considering returning.
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5
Poetry in depression
by Mimilly injudgement day (salem reid).
there's no peace, no place, just excruciating pain.
there's no peace, no place, just buried deep pain.
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Darkhorse
Beautiful poems, glad you posted them. You know, there is much truth in both of them. When you wrote the line "everybody is too busy to be a friend", you are very right.