Posts by WLG

5

The tough decision.

by WLG in

jw
friends

my little quote from the tao for this one.... "there is no path to happiness, happiness is the path.".

i think for the first time i'm about to do something i want to do instead of something i think i have to do.

i've been going over it in my head for over a week straight now, this decision.

WLG

My little quote from the Tao for this one...

"There is no path to happiness, happiness is the path."

I think for the first time I'm about to do something I want to do instead of something I think I have to do. I've been going over it in my head for over a week straight now, this decision. I was thinking I was about to have to move back to my hometown to help look after some things. None of my other family members are able.

To do so means going to a place not only filled with people that hurt or hindered me in the past, but also is saturated by a mentality and way of life I have long left behind me. Every day I would walk out and be reminded of the way things were, the life I peeled away layer by layer over years. Dirty is a word that could describe it… but not the kind of dirty you can wash or mop or shower away…at least not there. Whenever I go it takes me weeks to get back to normal, days just to feel clean again. The people, some of which I will be the first to say are great, are dominated by this view of people and relationships and what is and is not acceptable behavior and treatment of others that I just cannot embrace, nor can I stand in the face of it without expressing my views.

The other issue is the place I am now is not anywhere near as bad…but also somewhere I would never choose to be if allowed to decide freely. I moved here for a life I thought would be wonderful, and it seemed wonderful, but it ended. Not only that, but I have since figured out it was not quite what I thought it was. And now I find myself somewhere I do not smile, I don't feel an urge to do anything except sleep, and I know why. I'm not home.

There is a place I have always felt at home, and always looked up and enjoyed being alive. I was amazed when I went and saw the acceptance of diversity, the freedom to be whoever you are and still fit in. Every time since I have been and wished I could stay longer. So, I've decided to pick back up with my plan to move there instead of putting it off to deal with these other things. I was waiting for someone else to be ready to go before, and since then I think I doubted I could just do it. I just can't bear the thought of living somewhere I'll be so miserable, nor can I stand to wait around for an engraved invitation. Now that I own my own business, and am pretty damn good at it, by the way, I think I'm gonna just pick up my toys and go.

Of course these things can't be done overnight…so now I've got plans to make.

14

Hi everyone.. I need some advice...!!!

by Redbeard in

hey!

i'm new to this forum as a user, 'been hanging around for a while and enjoyed reading the posts here, .

this site has provided a lot of confidence and encouragement to me through harsh times.

WLG

If there is an easy answer...I don't think anyone here knows it. You have some choices to make. Sooner or later you will get to a crossroads of being true to yourself and doing what you were taught to do...lie very well. It's like they say about the truth, once you know what you are doing...you have some big choices to make.

It sounds like you have a "following" in people. If it's what you want and believe is best, you may be able to help some others who are in doubt. watch for the ones that are always in the carpet for getting out of line. Those are the ones having doubts...only they may not know it yet. Start with some well planned questions that they cannot answer.

Also work at developing your network of friends outside the org, if things go badly you may need the support.

Good Luck.

WLG

40

Would you live your life differently, if you new what happens after death?

by passive suicide in

jw
friends

so i had a thought today, that may spark some interesting conversation......

if you were able to die.....totally, and utterly dead.and see what there really is for your own eyes/soul after death......not what the bible says, not what your mom, dad, preacher, rabbi,faithful and discreet slave, conscience ...whatever says will happen....but what really happens......( who can say for sure they know by the way), and then somehow you were brought back,

would you live your life differently?

WLG

It would depend on what happened...but that's the whole point...

No one really knows, no one is meant to know. Everything is the way it is supposed to be, to claim it is different because we are such substantial creatures that we can essentially make God put his plans on hold while we play out some who loves who drama is absurd to me.

Just as you can't have swet without sour...you can't have the life we have without death as we know it...or don't.

4

The Stock Market

by Warlock in

jw
friends

the market seems to have put in a short term bottom today, judging from all the "long tails" i see on candlesticks, plus the fact that the dow dipped under it's 200 ma, but closed just about at it.. the next move should be up, for about 500 points, and then the market should re-test todays low, however, the heathiest thing would be for the market to test it's march low of 12,000, or there abouts, just to wash everyone out.. if you are holding stock, and are worried, this should all be over by the end of october.. of course, this is what i see, but, when you deal with uncertainty everyday, anything is possible.. warlock .

WLG

This is a larger question. You can make money off the market in more ways that buying in. You can use it to plan your own business and capitalize on upswings in your segment. For instance...

In telecom there is always a 5-7 year swing. In the late 90's for instance, just as in the late 80's, a cable guy could make around $2,000 per week...by 2002 that was cut by over 25% due to the dot bomb. Over the next few years it creeped back up especially with advanced in satellite television. Last year, prices were slashed and once again that particular workforce suffered pay cuts.This year and next there is newer technology rolling out from AT&T..remember them? They always fall out and then all but disappear, only to show back up with some new techology that requires special training.

The market crashes out on the same schedule...remarkable about the same time people seem to think that things are so great and are spending money like they can always make more because they have for so long. Then all the sudden the adjustments hit and everyone goes into a panic, discretionary spending stops.

This hit me this year right after the housing crunch. Unfortunately for me I overestimated the time I had left (I'm dependent on the car sales market for 80% of my income) and made a bad decision to add personnel. Now my segment is in a major uptic and I'm swamped again...but lost my added technician becauseI didn't have the work to keep him making money like he can now. He spun off and started his own but is doomed to fail due to lack of experience in a lot of areas. He'll look back and think it was just the wrong time...it isn't, but for him there are more factors now.

The key to make it out with more and not less is to look back at the segments that do well in the same place we are today in the curve. Not necessarily looking for a specific company or brokerage, but a segment. If anything it's probably getting close to time to buy into housing and the peripherals that go with it like contruction materials. Maybe wait a little longer for them to bottom but they have to be close now.

Before the other two careers I was in contruction materials. We had the same 7 year swing, it just didn't run along the same timeline as the rest of the market. For instance in the mid 90's ready mixed concrete materials companies were having a really hard time due to low demand, combined with the cement suppliers slowing down production to increase price. Get this...they worked less, and were able to charge more for the same product because there was less of it. So they CUT labor costs and increased PRICE. It forced a correction on the concrete companies, all of which operate like any business, profit is a percentage per piece, not flat dollar amount per sale, so profits for them went up too...by the time they adjusted, the housing market was back on a uptic in the late 90's and slamming after the slow down of 2000-2002. They made more than they ever would have, and the cement suppliers are STILL killing it because they NEVER drop their prices one they go up.

Imagine having bought Lafarge, Trinity Construction Materials, or Cemex back in the 90's.

I'm pretty excited, because once you hit the bottom...you know the ride is about to take off and you can be on it if you plan right.

8

The Funeral Part 3

by WLG in

jw
friends

the funeral part 3. the funeral was over.

it was time to ride out to bury my brother.

my friend and i decided to ride together, and break off from the group because we were hungry, thirsty, and mentally screwy.

WLG

The Funeral Part 3

The funeral was over. It was time to ride out to bury my brother. My friend and I decided to ride together, and break off from the group because we were hungry, thirsty, and mentally screwy. We stopped and got something to drink and a snack. As we arrived my Uncle was just getting into the scriptures for the burial. These scriptures and the approved interpretation of them weren’t as bad, but to non dubs…was still strange at best. Once this was over most people began to leave while I walked over and pulled a fingerful of hair from my head and tucked it into a seam in the casket. My friend reminded me to get a flower, so I searched until I found one unlike any other, unopened just as his life was unlived.

My other brother, his uncle, my friend, and a few more people stayed to see him laid to rest. I was asked if I wanted to work a shovel, at first I cringed, then I thought about it, it was only right that he be buried by loving hands, not those of a stranger. After he was lowered in, I walked over and took the links out of my cuffs, I was about to put them in my pocket, but as soon as I touched my pocket I realized what I was doing, rolling up my sleeves to bury my brother. I tossed them into the grave, making sure they hit the casket solid as if he could hear it. I’ve never cried so hard and as quietly as when I took a shovel in my hands and dug into the soft dirt. I could barely see as I tossed a large shovelful at the exact time as his other brother. I was saying over and over in my head, I love you and wish I could have saved you from this. Walking back to his ex girlfriend, the same one who was sobbing at the funeral was still inconsolable. I hugged her and looked in her eyes and told her to live every day like he sees you, make him proud of the life you live, that’s all you can do now.

My friend and I left to go see the truck he died in as well as the accident site. It was crazy hot and humid, so we wanted to change clothes. We went by to pick up her clothes and then went to my dad’s house. When we pulled up, there were a couple of cars I didn’t recognize, having been away so long. She asked who they were and I neither thought about the actual question nor knew who they were. Looking back she is still active and trying to keep everything ok with her family, who talks to mine. It was a d’oh moment for me because we walked in and there were more witnesses than could possibly fit in 2 cars. They all know her and me of course. We’ve been friends since she was 18, so it didn’t dawn on me even then. I showed her where she could change and then walked out and caught it…that look. So many looks, actually. The pity, the suspicion, the incredulity. How dare I show up unshaven? How worldly do you have to get to not be ashamed, because for the first time…I was far from ashamed. I was proud of myself and the fact that I cannot be used as an example of what goes wrong when you leave “The Truth”. My friend came out and she was bombarded with questions about her and her marriage. Like they even cared, the last time they said her name it was in reference to her choice to marry a worldly guy so she wouldn’t get in trouble again.

It always amazed me that no one ever got her. This time was no different. They may as well have asked the questions they really wanted to ask. So much was assumed, yet there was no reason for it. She has always been the most incredible person in character and honesty there could be. The one person I have ever met that I have wished I could be more like to such a degree. When I figured out what was happening I felt so horrible, here it had been 4 years since I saw her and the first thing I did was get her in a bind.

We left out of there to see everything, and she was smiling, so I felt better. She said what I felt; the worst thing is the pity they look at you with. There these people were, all witnesses with my dad and his wife WHO WAS PURCHASED, and they look at us with judgment and pity?

We went and saw everything, which made me feel better actually, it was obvious that he wasn’t doing anything wrong, and he didn’t suffer. She knew him very well, it’s another story all together and I hope she will be around to tell hers, so I’m skirting it on purpose.

I dropped her off; it took about 45 minutes total. Saying goodbye to her was difficult, so many things I wanted to say, years of love and thoughts all bunched up. It has always torn me apart to watch her leave or leave myself; this time wasn’t as bad, almost like I know it won’t be long before we see each other again. I managed to get out most of what I felt, and catch a glimpse in her eyes of something that has always been there, and yet I had always managed to miss so many times before. True friendship, the kind that you enjoy together as old people one day. The kind that makes you not dare to cross certain lines for fear you could screw it up for later. She knows who she is…she’s reading this…The One. I miss you every minute.

It is a very bittersweet thing to say goodbye to someone you truly love. For me it felt so good because I had all but given up on ever being back there. And now that she knew how I felt, really felt for her, no one could touch me.

But…they were about to try.

7

The Funeral Part 2

by WLG in

jw
friends

the funeral part 2. .

the day of the funeral i actually enjoyed putting on my suit.

i had bought it about a year ago along with a couple more for business meetings.

WLG

The Funeral Part 2

The day of the funeral I actually enjoyed putting on my suit. I had bought it about a year ago along with a couple more for business meetings. It’s strange how much better these look than the ones I would have picked out as a dub. Of course, before I was a concrete truck driver…with 5 suits which together still cost less than any one of these. But anyway I knew that if the wake had one Witness there, the funeral would have 20. It felt good to walk in not looking like hell, like being “in the world” had been bad for me.

At the funeral home I met with my brother that was to speak, and the elder uncle. The idea was that he would get up after the song was played, say a few words, quote some generic scriptures that the 85% worldly audience would appreciate, and run down the survivors, and off we go. In the event my brother got choked up, I was to step in and finish the eulogy.

Back out into the chapel area, I walked around and hugged and cried and greeted folks. My family that is still in was surprisingly non-judgmental and seemed ok. I saw a lot of people I have missed a great deal, so that part was nice. Later on I saw a girl that had been my brother’s girlfriend for some time. They had broken it off, or she did because of his drug problems. She is with someone else and pregnant now, but of everyone except his mother, she was the most hysterical. She couldn’t stop crying, so hard she was heaving. My cousin (dub) was sitting behind her and looking at her like she was a freak or something with so much prejudice in her eyes. I walked back up through everyone and up behind her, in front of my cousin, and wrapped my arms around her from behind. She hung on to me so tight my hands went numb. After a few minutes she settled down and I stood up to walk away and felt it, the look of judgment they give. I was a horrible person because I made the effort to comfort a worldy person who was sobbing about the death of one of our family members. What a piece of crap I am. More of my family was there at this point, they came in, said hello only to the Witnesses there and gave the obligatory drum tight smiles to the worldly people…some of whom are family.

One thing that will take another subject entirely is that my most dear friend, the one for whom I used the name Wanderlustguy, came and sat with me at my request. We have been friends for over 18 years, and hadn’t spoken for over 4. Seeing her again instantly made the world slide away and it was all ok. Not that I forgot where I was, but she has always made me feel like nothing can touch me and this was no different. I asked her to sit with the family, because that is what she will always be to me. She sat with my brother’s wife while we went in the back to get ready for the service.
I had to go in the back to be ready in case I had to finish the eulogy. Everything seemed ok. My brother got up and walked out to give the eulogy. He couldn’t keep the emotion in completely, the first sentence came out like the coarsest of sandpaper was in his mouth. He choked his way through it and I started crying again, fighting to keep it in check just in case. He gave the eulogy exactly as intended and it was a beautiful thing. The best talk I had ever heard.

Then we played “Simple Man” and everyone just broke down. For the first time I saw my father, the meanest and cruelest bastard I ever knew break down and cry like a little girl. He kept saying how he loves his boys and he wished he could have saved him. It changed how I see him now, maybe forever.

Then my uncle got up to do his part. The first scripture was the generic “better to go to the house of mourning”, which seemed ok, But then the second scripture was along the same outline, then the third. All the sudden there it was, the full Jehovah’s Witness we’re gonna tell you how it is whether you like it or not funeral talk. His mother is NOT a dub and neither is her side of the family. She was getting madder and madder. On we went into the spiral of the Dub talk about the promise for the new world and how to get it and most of all GOD’S NAME which YOU all have to KNOW because WE KNOW YOU AINT NEVER HEARD THIS SHIT BEFORE, HIS NAME IS JEHOVAH AND WE’RE HERE TO TELL YOU ABOUT IT. This went 30 minutes. About 5 before it was over, you could see the resentment in non witness attendees’ faces. My brother’s mother turned to me and said “you have got to get him to shut the f*ck up”.

Finally, mercifully it was over. My friend had this look of shock on her face. She had heard this talk so many times, but a couple of days before we had started talking about the truth about the truth (YEA!!!!) and now it was different. She could see how the talk had come across as arrogant and was completely out of place. If anything, everyone there was further from wanting to know more than they would ever be.

I felt like I had failed and was angry, but not for long. Mu Uncle had tears in his eyes and said “nothing good can be said about something like this, but at lease maybe I was able to give someone the Truth.” He had only done what he thought was good and really believed he helped someone.
I couldn’t stay mad, and at that moment I decided that I might not ever really tell him what I know now because I don’t know if it would be right to take The Truth away from him now that he has so much in it.

Besides…the day and the drama was just getting started…

14

The Funeral Part 1

by WLG in

jw
friends

the funeral part 1. i think maybe i can finally type this and see the keyboard long enough to finish it.. my brother wasnt exactly a dub.

he was pretty far into drugs for the last few years.

i could see the turmoil in him as he was torn between what his very sharp mind told him and the truth, as well as the version of events he was supposed to believe about his childhood.

WLG

I'm sorry about your brother WLG.I'm glad you got to send him off the way your family wanted.

Wait for part 2...

344

Tell Us Something We Probably Don't Know About You

by minimus in

jw
friends

i'll start.. i love the jerky boys and "prank" candid camera/punked types of humor.. i also love r&b, soul, funk and disco.. now what can you tell us about yourself that we might've never guessed?.

WLG

My feet hurt.

14

The Funeral Part 1

by WLG in

jw
friends

the funeral part 1. i think maybe i can finally type this and see the keyboard long enough to finish it.. my brother wasnt exactly a dub.

he was pretty far into drugs for the last few years.

i could see the turmoil in him as he was torn between what his very sharp mind told him and the truth, as well as the version of events he was supposed to believe about his childhood.

WLG

The Funeral Part 1

I think maybe I can finally type this and see the keyboard long enough to finish it.

My brother wasn’t exactly a dub. He was pretty far into drugs for the last few years. I could see the turmoil in him as he was torn between what his very sharp mind told him and The Truth © , as well as the version of events he was “supposed” to believe about his childhood. I had been trying to help him along for a while, and he was about to the point where he could take the Truth about The Truth © .

It was not so much a surprise that he had been killed. But it was a surprise to me that he was actually doing absolutely nothing wrong when he died. He was a passenger in a vehicle and on the way back to work from a lunch break, the driver took a curve too fast and blew out a tire, putting them into the woods at an insane rate of speed for the road. As far as I know, neither drugs nor alcohol were found at the scene.

On the phone en route (16 hour drive) I was told that my uncle was planning to give the Funeral Talk © , assuming his mother was ok with it. When I got to my dad’s house, my brothers were working on the eulogy, it had been decided that my other younger brother would give it. They slid it to me, handwritten, It looked like a talk outline, almost. Very little about our brother, but a lot about The Truth © . So I went to work typing it into a pc to make it “easier to read” and pretty much scraped everything written so far. Instead it was 4 paragraphs about him, how happy he made people and what he loved, as well as how honest he was about whatever happened. If he did something wrong, he didn’t hide it or beat around the bush. When he wrecked his car and was asked what happened, he flat said “I was drunk”. After that was a paragraph basically saying is wasn’t a preventable tragedy, and he wouldn’t want us blaming ourselves. Then, the last paragraph said that it shouldn’t take something like this for family and loved ones to get together, a jab at the whole concept of the “bad association” shun.

It was said over and over by his mother, his sister, and me that under no circumstances was this to become a recruitment session for Jehovah’s Witnesses like the usual funerals go. We wanted this to be about him and a show of what a great loss this was. We wanted to play “Simple Man” by Lynard Skynard purely because it was his favorite song. After going back and forth for 2 days, tons of dub stuff getting stuffed in and with me being the only one pushing back and getting it out, we managed to get the entire eulogy to be about our brother, and it was wonderful.

With this all pretty much settled, we went to the “Viewing” as the dubs all have to call it…the Wake for the rest of humanity. So then comes all the people I didn’t really want to see. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. Most were sincere enough to make it ok, and I saw a few of my family that were non dubs that I had not seen in forever. I got their contact info because I would really like to get to know them now that I can. I was going back and forth between my ex stepmom, dad, and sister most of the time. Finally after everyone had filtered out and I thought I was mostly alone, I stopped and actually took in where I was, and watched the dvd of pictures they had playing. It hit me like a ton of bricks, and I couldn’t keep it in anymore. Someone I didn’t know took a few steps towards me and I backed up from them shaking my head because I didn’t want to be touched, I just wanted to feel it all. They went and got my sister, which by that time the wave of reality had come and gone and I was more “there”. Finally I just sat down by the coffin and put my back on it, I just wanted to sit with my brother one last time. As people were walking out they made it a point to explain to me about God and how maybe I need to get back and how Jehovah knows people’s hearts…all I wanted to say was “well I’ll make sure to remember that when I’m back here for you”. But I didn’t say anything. Everyone finally left and I just sat there for a while, something I just wanted to do.

7

Gotta move back home and it sucks.

by WLG in

jw
friends

my home town has maybe 500 people in it...with over 100 witnesses.

how do you like that ratio?

i have to move back for a while for a bunch of reasons and it totally sucks big time.. .

WLG

what really bites is that almost all the businesses are owned by Dubs.

Like Mormons out in Utah.