merfi

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Posts by merfi

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  18

  Women's Role

  by loveneverfails in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  so as you can see this is my first post here...it's going to sound a bit jumbled i'm sure.. i stopped going to meetings exactly a year ago primarily due to my realization of my role as a "woman" (well i'm 22 but anyway..).

  to me, being a jw woman means a life as a subserviant housewife who can make no decisions and can only excel by pioneering.

  i realized that's the way the whole bible is...totally male-dominant.

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  merfi

  Hi loveneverfails! Welcome!

  This issue was big with me, also. I was ok in the eyes of the mysogynist elders while married, but as soon as I kicked out the ex and was an independent woman, holy hell... They were crawling up my ass for every little thing. Skirts to short (hem at the knees even when sitting?!?), slits too short, sweater too low (like I have any cleaveage ), jeep impractical (they hated it, I think, when I'd drive up for meetings with the top and doors off) blah blah blah and so on. I held down a full-time job and was raising three kids on my own; I didn't need to be hired by the elders' family janitorial business to make ends meet. I didn't call the 'brothers' if my household stuff broke; I fixed it myself. I didn't NEED them and I think that bugged the crap out of them. I didn't fit the 'mold' that the WT made for the submissive, subserviant and second-class female. It was somewhat also the reason I left; I was tired of being treated like dirt and most of the treatment was because of my gender.

  Freedom is nice.

  ~merfi
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  25

  new baby photos

  by snarf in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i finally had my baby, he was born on november 13th and weighed in at 6 lbs.

  i am recovering great and daddy and big sis are all googly eyed over the new addition.

  i would like to post some pics to brag about my beautiful new son, does anyone have any tips to help me post those pics?

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  merfi

  Hey!! OMG, how adorable! So nice to finally meet him, eh? :)

  Congrats to you and your family!!

  ~merfi
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  20

  Any help with 8 year old still in?

  by megsmomma in

  1. social
  2. family

  i am very sad that i am in this situation.

  it is pretty much my own fault that i have this situation...but i didn't know at the time what all the consequenses would entail.

  (i got real ddepressed and left my jw husband and da'd myself after i had a baby with him) my daughter is a happy well adjusted kid with a new jw mom and an elder dad.

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  merfi

  I have little people as well, but my situation is a bit different. I'm DA and have custody; JW dad is a couple hours away so gets them every other weekend. So they get two meetings a month is all (if dad isn't "sick" or "busy" -- he's a flakey JW, thank goodness).

  Anyway, what I did in the beginnings of my Freedom was show them how fun the once-forbidden holidays and b'days actually are, without coming out and saying "we're going to celebrate your birthday cuz JW are a f'd up cult" etc. And when none of us were struck down with lightening for giving presents or enjoying something holiday-related, it was one step closer to them accepting that it's all ok... we're still on the journey, but making a lot of progress (I have in front of me three "Dear Santa" lists. lol THAT is progress!)

  I guess what I'm getting at is to be subtle. Just show her that Xmas is about family and togetherness and, since she's 8, the "pretties" (as my kids call all our lights).

  I wish you the best.... this sort of thing is hard.

  ~merfi
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  44

  Well its over....

  by kerj2leev in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  after 13years of marriage, today it finally came to an end!.

  it felt very strange as i entered into the court room, my attorney on the right and hers on the left.

  we were the first group of 15 or 16 case to be heard today.

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  merfi

  BTDT too, Kerj. Even the 13 years and many of the memories you described. I'll echo that it does get easier, sort of. Maybe 'different' is a better word. Anyways, I'm 2 years past the day you just described (I got a "congratulations" from my atty, too) and so far so good.

  Tomorrow is another day

  ~merfi
• 
  47

  1:09am and the frickin' meeting tomorrow!

  by 5thGeneration in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  just want to chill out.

  sleep in.

  get up at 11 and make some spam 'n eggs.

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  merfi

  Sucks to have your Sunday stolen. What you wish you could do is what people should have the choice to do.

  Stupid cult.

  Heading to bed shortly to awake whenever I damn well feel like it, make a brunch (I like your idea of Spam n eggs :) ) and then it's football baby, football!

  There's always the "Bingo" game to keep you busy at meetings.
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  21

  Lonely Hearts Club - Roll Call

  by confusedjw in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  me .

  home listening to prairie home companion - drinking wine with my dog.

  he doesn't like wine, but does like guy noir

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  merfi

  Just got back from "Happy Feet" with daughter, son and son's buddy (this would be a 10 and two 9-year olds. Now I need a beer....).

  So yeah, that's MY Saturday night.

  ~merfi
  (my msn is in my profile -- add me, I'm BORED this weekend! )
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  5

  Curious on beliefs

  by lydia69 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have been researching a particular subject lately and have been wondering how different religous groups feel about it.

  the rh factor, of course this is a protein found in the blood of at least 85% of the population, the name coming from the discovery (the same factor found in rhesus monkey blood, 1940-landsteiner and wiener).

  during pregnancy if a mother is negative (does not have the factor) and the father is positive, and the baby is positive, there is a possiblity that the mother's body will reject the baby.

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  merfi

  My own personal opinion is that Rh factor has nothing whatsoever to do with the bible/religion and that's the last place I'd look for an explanation. I lean towards the Rh factor as being more evolutionary than anything else... the factor is found in monkeys -- hmmm.

  One of the things I remember from med tech school is that sickle cells resist malaria better than 'normal' red cells. Sickle cell trait or disease is most common in Africa and also African-Americans. Malaria is all but endemic in Africa. Coincidence? I don't believe so. Same to be said of hemoglobin variants like C (causes some funky crystal-shaped red cells) and the Thalassemias. Each of these two traits cause the red cell to be more resistant to malaria. So I have no clue really why the Rh factor, but perhaps in another million years of evolving we'll know why.
  
  ~merfi
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  22

  Welcome to xirian

  by BlackSwan of Memphis in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  xirian:.

  good to see you made it here.. you have a pm.. .

  (lady fey).

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  merfi

  Hello from another Iowa girl!

  I'm also leaning towards the Pagan beliefs as they just seem to make the most sense to me. :)

  Welcome to the board -- great place here.

  ~merfi
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  17

  Feeling bad for doing normal things - SLIGHT ADULT CONTENT

  by jambon1 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i was reading the article in the nov awake about musterbation (not a typo, i just hate that word & have to rephrase it)!!.

  it took me back to the days as a young man who had normal feelings of a sexual nature.

  new in the truth and fighting, with every fibre of my being, (at least in the beginning) against the idea of having a ham shank.

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  merfi

  Sex can be such a beautiful thing if you're not required to hate yourself for enjoying it.

  This doesn't sound at all preachy to me, in fact I totally agree. Once I finally let go of the 'guilt' for actually enjoying sex, I felt so much more free and a bit more empowered in a sense (hard to explain). I have my own rules of what is 'right and wrong' about it, not some dumb cult's freakish and controlling ones.

  ~merfi
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  49

  DID ANYONE ELSE GET PASSED OVER W/THE KN TRACT?

  by juni in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i live in a small, rural town pop.

  2000. my daughter and i did not get any visit or tract.. i thought this was supposed to be a final warning - a life saving work.. not complaining, but just curious if you didn't get one.. juni .

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  merfi

  I didn't get one, either. Guess my pagan Christmas decorations spooked them off.
  
  ~merfi
  (yeah, a bit over-excited about my first Christmas since 1987...)