DB

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Posts by DB

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  32

  Do you think that the WT will ban the Internet?

  by gilwarrior in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i think that it will happen.

  there is so much information about what really goes on.

  the hypocrasy, the scandals, the misinformation.

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  DB

  I agree that they will write negative things about the Internet, and the guilt that they engender will carry over to many of the R&F.
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  20

  Question for ex elders

  by Marilyn in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i'm wondering if any of you ex elders ever felt embarrassed or awkward about having to stick your noses into other peoples business did it ever seem like that to you, or were you of the mind that you were a necessary part of the lives of the flock?

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  marilyn

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  DB

  Maryln, thanks for asking this question. I served for nearly a decade, and yes, there were uncomfortable moments.

  Once, a sister asked us to call on her to discuss the fact that her hubby (also a jw, but less active than she) wanted oral sex. Myself and another elder made the call, and basically it boiled down to us advising her and her hubby to work it out themselves. I think she wanted us to somehow pressure of force him into seeing things her way, but fortunately, we had enough sense not to do that. Of course, the other elder took along the March 1983 WT article on marriage and sex, which, even at that time, I thought was a ridiculous piece of work that actually contributed to marital discord.

  Another thing about being an elder that bothered me: the line between knowing the 'condition of the flock' and getting into their personal business is often a fine line indeed. Also, knowing people's field service averages and so forth can easily tend to make a person feel that the "low hour publisher" is somehow less worthy or less righteous than others, which is not good. Also, knowing people's personal business or shortcomings in certain areas in which they perhaps were counseled can easily give an elder a jaded view of such ones.

  Additionally, there were times when complaints were made to me about others (especially in areas of dress and modesty of sisters) that really bothered me. For example, one sister came to me and told me that another sister looked immodestly dressed for service. Rather than go directly to that sister, she came and told me, expecting me to handle it. I advised her to mention it to the sister directly, and if she could not do that, to just let the matter drop, and told her I'd check back with her in a week or so. When I checked back and asked her if she had addressed the matter with the other sister, she said she felt as if she could just let the matter drop. So in other words, she wanted me to do her 'dirty work' and refused to approach the sister directly, which is what the Bible says we should do when such matters arise. A similar situation occured at another time as well, with a sister handing me a note (!) during the meeting with a written complaint about another sister's skirt length.

  So, yes, there were many situations that were awkward for me, and greatly contributed to the fact that I never was happy serving as an elder.
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  17

  Aussie BBQ - Feb 17

  by Prisca in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hi to all our aussie friends,.

  it's that time again - another aussie apostate bbq bash is almost upon us!.

  anyone who wishes to meet up and cook up a steak, drink some of ozziepost's fine red wine, or just to have a chin-wag, is welcome.. anonymity is highly important for those who may be currently still in the org, or those who are inactive but not da'd nor df'd.

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  DB

  Hey Prisca, I'd love to attend, but too bad I live in the USA, half a world away. Sounds like a fun gig; enjoy!
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  12

  Why is it the most judgmental ones.....

  by terafera in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  being relatively still a 'newbie' of sorts (i've only been here a month or so).... the first thing i thought when i started posting here, was,.

  'would they judge me here?

  ' 'do you have to totally disagree with the jw's?

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  DB

  I have also noticed that the most judgemental posts and replies are in general by those who are jw defenders or fundamentalist in their views.

  Also, in congregations of jws, often the most judgemental are the ones who are "spiritually strong". They are often self-righteuos and intolerant.
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  27

  Worldly Husbands

  by Frenchy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  larc has an interesting thread going about why jw men choose to date (and beyond) worldly women in lieu of dating the seemingly overbundant supply of 'horny' sisters available.

  i recommend it.. it set me to thinking about yet another interesting phenomena in jwdom.

  that is the situation where the jw woman has, as a husband, a 'non-believer'.

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  DB

  Chakka, and eveyone else, good comments. Chakka, welcome to jw.com.

  My experience is similar, but I am the male, and i married outside the "truth". I dated outside the "truth" because the strict dating rules bugged me to say the least.

  I actually enjoyed having a non-jw wife. Nobody pressuring me to attend meetings. But then, lo and behold, she became interested. My jw friends set up a sudy w her, and she got baptized.

  Then, she got real zealous and almost pharisaic in her approach. She was very much into the whole jw thing; she'd insist I conduct a fam study; she'd spend two hours just to prepare her WT study lesson.

  I became and elder, and still, she always pushed harder than me. Now that i am no longer serving (I was removed) she has finally calmed her zeal, and the situation is more tolerable. I used to tell her ocasionally that in many ways, I rue the day she got baptized.
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  45

  Do you think JWS are a cult?

  by Trixie in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  do you think that the jw religion is a cult?

  i believe that it is, but i wanted to get other people's opinion.

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  DB

  The jws do appear to fit several of the criteria listed by cult experts. Some examples that I have seen that match such criteria:

  They disfellowship and shun those who disagree with their teachings.
  They discourage members from being friends with outsiders; therefore, members depend upon them for social contact. When a jw cuts ties or is df'd, they stand to lose their friends.
  Jws who cut ties or are df'd also stand to lose association w family members who are jws.
  Their doctrines and teachings are decided upon by a group of men. Members are expected to keep 'in-line' with such teachings, but have no input in the decision-making process.
  Those who question such teachings are usually thought of as "spiritually weak", they may even be disfellowshipped for questioning the teachings. Hence, dissenters are eventually rooted out, making it easier to keep existing members in line.
  Though God and Jesus are mentioned often, the organization itself often becomes the focal-point for jws. They are taught that as individuals, they cannot understand the Bible. Thus, they form a great deal of dependance on the organization. They are taught that they cannot 'get life' unless they come to the organization.
  Their elders and judicial committees meet in secret, hence abuses are commonplace. Those victimized have little or no recourse if they feel a decision is wrong. They are allowed little or no representation when appearing before a judicial committee.
  These are just a few examples that cause many people to view the jw religion as a cult.
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  13

  Anyone have any controversial "meeting&quo...

  by Waygooder64 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  does anyone have any really cool stories about fights,arguments or anything else controversial that happened at the kh or a book study?

  the reason i ask is that what happened to danni and her partner will be talked about for ages at that particular hall.

  when i was about 16 i once saw 2 brothers arguing over who would take the service group that weekend.the whole congregation was about as quiet as a mouse pissing on a cottonball!

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  DB

  Years ago, an MS was leading a group out in service from the KH library. The sisters seemed to be in some diagreement with him over the groupings and arrangements. He said, 'fine, then make your own arrangements', and walked out.

  A few years later this same MS made the local papers. I'm not sure of the details, but it involved a shouting match and a violent outbreak at home involving his step-child. He was removed as an MS.
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  14

  Ex-Jw Book studies,anyone

  by badboy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  anyone thought of doing`ex-jw book studies?.

  suggested book titles.. studies in the jws.. millions now living have been deceived!.

  thy kingdom not came.. `can we give you a study of why jws are wrong'?.

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  DB

  Great posts, very funny!

  TR's book of scary stories just reminded me how violent the Bible Stories book (and the Bible) is. At a friend's home a few weeks ago, my friends, a married couple w a young child, were lamenting how violent the book is. And, the sister said that other sisters at the meeting were "encouraging" her to read it to her child.

  The only other book title I can think of at the moment is 'Choosing the worst way of life' or maybe I'll phrase it as a question: 'Choosing the Best Way of Life'?.
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  11

  INFORMAL WITNESSING

  by TR in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i've got a bunch of those sl printouts, and i've got one pasted to a window in my work vehicle.

  posted one at the supermarket by my house, but noticed the other day that it had been taken down.

  gotta replace it.. several weeks ago, a car load of 'hovahs pulled up next to me at a convenience store to get their lunch while out in service.

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  DB

  Hey TR, if you count the time you've been spending, you might be able to pioneer, LOL.

  I could defintely relate to that sister you mentioned, who is getting the cold shoulder. Any fall-off in performance, and that's what happens.
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  10

  ANGRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  by gilwarrior in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  as most of you know i usually write about sexual matters, but i would like to take this time to write about something serious.

  after two months of writing posts and reading others people's posts and have concluded that the jehovah's witness organization purposely prevents people from contact with other people, because that way it is hard for someone to leave the organization.

  if everyone you know is in the organization then how can you leave?

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  DB

  Good post gill, and I agree with all the replies. I have not found joy in being a jw for years. I cannot recall the last time I actually enjoyed a meeting. Field service is a bit better, but it is also a colossal waste of time where I live. My questions about God and the bible are still largely unanswered, even after nearly 3 decades of being a jw.

  But, most of my family and friends are jws. So I stick it out.