Posts by DB

92

How many hours are falsely reported?

by badboy in

jw
friends

in the january 1 issue of each year, they harp on about how many hours the jws did last year etc etc.. how many hours are possibly falsely reported?.

discuss,please

DB

Counting time and RVs by the Society's standard would mean not counting break time and not counting an RV unless you talk to the same person on the return call and 'advance' the truth somewhat. I doubt that many jws adhere to such standards, however. Over the years I have noticed many taking long breaks (once, up to an hour) and also noticed pioneers who spent a good part of the day running errands and taking breaks.

I could never blame them. If I had to find a way to put 90 (now 70) months in "real" service in each month, I would have never been able to do it, and I doubt that many pioneers can either, given the nature of the work. Also, for many jws, including myself, the coffee break is often the highlight of the morning in service.

I also think about secular employment in comparison - when you take a break, you still get paid for that break, unless it's your lunch break (in many cases). I could never understand why the Society did not want jws to count break time. I guess they figure the bros and sis's would do what would probably come natural - spend the better part of the service period on break.

34

Tough Question for ExElders...

by Xena in

jw
friends

with a friend suddenly confronted with the prospect of being disfellowshiped recently it got me wondering about how an elder feels the first time he disfellowships someone.. the first time you disfellowshiped someone was there regret?

sadness?

or a sense of justice?.

DB

I had served on several JCs, and disliked doing it each time. I felt regrets and also that I was not really qualified to sit in judgement or another person. My imperfections weighed heavily on my mind each time I sat to judge the weaknesses of another person.

After one sister was df'd, I felt awful the following day. She had a husband who had been a pain in her neck for years and who himself had been df'd, then reinstated. I had trouble blaming her for falling for another guy after being married to a guy like him. Another sister was a good friend of mine, and she was a single woman nearing the age of 30 who looked for a mate and waited and waited for a brother, but then she got involved sexually with a non-witness. To be honest, I felt terrible about having to df a woman who simply had natural urges and was lonely and simply could not hold out any longer.

Another dfing I really disliked was of a woman who had been smoking. No one in the cong. even knew her. I felt that consideration of the matter should have been held until she possibly would become active again. It was like we just hunted her down and df'd her. I regret not speaking up to the other elders on that one and being more vocal in my misgivings about what we were doing.

Here's an odd thing, though...when I was an elder, in a strange way, part of me wanted an announcement to be made, part of me sort of looked forward to "shocking" the cong. I don't know why. It was like I wanted them to be aware that we were busy making the cong. safe for them, like we were heroic in some way. I hate that I felt that way! To this day, I regret it deeply.

Good post, Xena!

11

~Safegaurd Yourselves~

by terafera in

jw
friends

i got this in an email today...it was a forward from a sister.

she doesnt talk to me, but sends 'uplifting' emails.

i guess i'm not good enough to talk to, but only to upbuild!

DB

Hi Tera,

Interesting post. I receive things like this via e-mail on occasion from my fellow jws. The x-mas music thing seems way over the top, LOL, and the rest of it seems like someone is trying to make their own proverbs or pithy sayings out of things common to the jw experience.

;) ;) ;) DB

27

how many JW on this site

by happy man in

jw
friends

the name of the site, jehovas vittness.com?.

well sure we must have permission to say what we fell here, cant understan that ex say that this is ther site,.

havent they red the heading.

DB

Hi happy, I am a jw also. Baptized nearly 29 yrs. I'm not sure if that makes me a lucky guy or not.

I come here for various reasons, one of which is to read up on subject matter that is almost never discussed among active jws for fear of reprisal, or at the very least for fear of appearing "spiritually weak", or appearing to have a "bad attitude".

Sometimes, I think we have not come all that far at all from the days of the mid-century Inquisitions.

6

Kaiser Permanente

by joelbear in

jw
friends

anyone here have any experience with them an a health provider.

i'm thinking of switching to them.. thanks.

joel

DB

Joel, I do know someone who works there for them, but I have no idea about their level of effectiveness as a health care provider. If you have any questions, you can e-mail me at [email protected]

10

My Story

by DINKY in

jw
friends

after years of hard drug use, my boyfriend (now husband) and i finally quit when i got pregnant.

i went strictly to "marijuana maintenance.

" while staying home with my new baby, a witness started calling on me and eventually offered me a bible study.

DB

Hi Dinky, and welcome. I was saddened after reading your story. Certainly, you should have received more assistance. As larc says, the elders are not really able to handle such issues effectively. When I served as an elder, I was not trained to handle such problems effectively.

Basically, the elders are more or less conditioned to believe that when someone is attending meetings, everything is fine; and yet they obviously missed the fact that not all was well with you despite the fact that you were at the meetings. Also, they are conditioned to tell people that more meetings, field service, etc. will be the cure-all. Hence, they seldom if ever are able or willing to help people to really overcome problems. And, the fact that they more or less ignored you for such a long preiod of time is sad indeed, though it does not surprise me at all.

32

Hypocrites.....grrrrrrr

by Tatiana in

jw
friends

well, a couple of nights ago i was kind of ashamed of myself.

let me explain.. i have a new job.

as a model scout.

DB

Tatiana, the elders reproving you privately for pursuing modeling is just one more example of the pharisaic attitude that permiates the entire organization. I can understand why you were so hurt, and why you are upset now.

A (somewhat) related experience - there is a Witness guy I know, good friend of mine, who mentioned that, at work, all the guys would always stop to oggle this one very immodestly dressed employee. The guys would literally stop what they were doing to check her out (she made delivered mail to various departments, and the guys gave her the nickname "The Mail Goddess". Well, guess what? Yep, she's a Witness. And there at her place of work, she is well-known for her immodest attire.

For that guy in your place of work, I'm sure he is all sold on the persecution mentality that the Witnesses have always pushed. He should have just laughed at what was a funny joke by you. And as you intimate, he certainly had no business complaining, seeing how he dresses and carries himself.

13

Spoke with a dub on ever changing doctrine...

by stocwach in

jw
friends

{to anyone that has seen this topic under "beliefs, doctrine, and practices", i apologize for the duplication, but i wanted to make sure it got the most exposure under the "main" thread here}:.

needed to be circumcised like the jewish christians already were.

only about the circumcision issue but also on whether the gentiles were.

DB

Tom, excellent reply...I too read this post while eating lunch, but you expressed things much more effectively than I would have. Maybe you were eating more nutritious food than I was (I was having a sald and fries from a fast-food joint, lol).

11

What is REALLY a Cult? -- Part #1

by ros in

jw
friends

we know the unification church (moonies) are a real cult.

but how can we say jehovahs witnesses are a cult?

consider some of the traits of a real cult revealed by a former moonie about the unification church.. =====================================================.

DB

Well, comparing jws with the criteria quoted from that book, it looks like the WTS is batting 1000.

7

Do shepherding calls help? my experience

by nightwing02 in

jw
friends

first i must start off by saying my wife and i have not attended meetings in awhile,so i knew that was the main point of the visit.when the two elders arrived at my home they were both happy and smiling.i told them how i was deeply depressed over the death of my best friend,and granfather,and the guilt i felt of not visiting and calling them much.i talked to my best friend a day before he died he seemed fine,but the next day he died of a heart attack.i also told them how i had become istant from my wife.they asked if i told hyer i loved her everyday and i replied no.and 1 of the elders said well remember what happened with your best friend,the same can happen with your wife,i felt that was a cold statement.but basically what they told us go to the meetings,and go out in field service 1 brother i felt did have some kind of compassion,the other who came in smiling looked like he was disgusted with me.i dont know i feel just as empty before they came i think i will see a therapist.

DB

Having served as an elder, I can say that often times, shepherding calls do not help in many instances. The person being called on is often made to feel that the problem, whatever it might be, is of his/her own making. Certainly, according to the elders, the toll of trying to keep up with being an active jw could never be the problem.

I have personally found that trying to keep up with all that the 'slave class' and the elders keep telling us to do, field service, meetings, family study, personal study, meeting preparation, bible reading, preparing for field service, and so on just takes the wind out of one's sails very quickly. And yet, when the elders come and call, they almost always tell you that you need more activity, that somehow doing more is going to solve your problems. But they seldom are skilled enough to get at the real heart of the problems.

When I went on such calls, I can honestly say that I had mostly no clue as to how to really help people solve their troubles...so it was always the same mantra...more, more, more - do more, and your problems will be solved.