Posts by HAL9000

Airfauxbics (ayr’ fo biks) noun. Any sequence of stretching exercises designed to cover the fact that the person at whom you just waved turned out to be a complete stranger.

Famnesia (fam nee’ zee ah) noun. The tendency to mix up the names of family members, calling the boy by the girl’s name, the father by the mother ’s, and the baby girl by the dog’s.

Grating (gray’ ting) noun. The tight, grim smile given to someone you pass for the fourth time in ten minutes in the office corridor, the first three meetings having already exhausted the ‘Good morning’, ‘Working hard!’, and the hilarious ‘We must stop meeting like this.’

Guylingual (guy’ lin gwal) adj. Descriptive of an Australian woman who can take part in a conversation about cars, football and chundering.

Hobarter (ho’ baa tah) verb. To fantasise about how much money you’d make if you swapped you overpriced house in Sydney or Melbourne or Brisbane for one of the cheap ones in Hobart, as pictured each weekend in the colour magazines.

Hope couture (howp ku toor) noun. The item of clothing you keep around for years in the hope that you might fit back into it some day.

I-Jacking (eye’ ja king). Noun. The practice of following a conversation in order to spot the moment when you can jump in and make it all about yourself.

Lollycoddle(loh lee’ cod uhl) verb. During a long drive, to mollify children in the back seat of a car by throwing them regular supplies of junk food.

Messpionage (mess’ pee on arj) noun. The examination of a young man’s apartment by a new girlfriend in search of clues as to his character.

Queuecumbered (kew’ kum burd) adj. To be trapped in a queue which slowed down the instant you joined it.

Testiculation (tes tik’ yu’ lay’ shun) noun. The male habit of giving one’ s testicles a quick squeeze or prod at three-minute intervals throughout the working day, just to check they haven’t suddenly disappeared, or been pecked off by wild birds.

Wedgetarian (wedj a’ tayr’ ee an) n. A child whose diet consists solely of potato wedges, with occasional side-serves of chips.

Extracted from The Dag’s Dictionary (ABC Books)

93

Going under the knife tomorrow morning :S

by Elsewhere in

jw
friends

i'm not a big fan of surgery.

i always exhaust all non-surgical options before doing it.

i know enough about medicine to know that surgery is effectively a controlled injury... and that makes me nervous.

HAL9000

Elsewhere,

Hope this goes well for you - I had it done 2 years back with good results and a fast recovery (the worst part was having the packing taken out the next day - more unpleasant than painful though).

But I do agree - operations feel like a controlled injury.

Take care,

h9k

12

Work Well Done and Sore never felt so GOOD!

by Sparkplug in

jw
friends

you know that feeling that you have worked like you are about to drop and yet you feel so damn good?

well that is how i am feeling.

not that it is a hugely interesting story, but this week has been as long as they come.

HAL9000

Hi Decki!

Sounds like you've been up to my tricks in the garden.....

I know sixy looks like he has tried to bath a few cats himself

Sounds familiar.....hope that the bath works, but you are right about feeling that you have achieved something!

h9k

7

New Zealand Currency....

by zeroday in

jw
friends

i have a step mum that is a kiwi and she just returned from a trip to nz and gave me some of their currency.

i don't think i have ever seen world currency with that clear window to the right.

does that last the life of the bill or pop out...

HAL9000

NZ has the same as Australia - Polymer (not paper) notes printed in Australia. All Australian notes have the clear plastic section.

See http://www.noteprinting.com/banknotes.html

13

Amazingly Simple Home Remedies

by Jim_TX in

amazingly simple home remedies.

1. if you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic.

simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto.

HAL9000

Jim,

Thanks for the laugh. My workplace is more than a little stressed & I sent a copy to a few in need of relief.

A typical reply was

Some people may be upset about the sink.... Thanks for bringing a smile to my day.

Thanks again, h9k

21

AAAARRGH My FIRST EVER lecture... Please, some helpful tips n hints??????

by Kudra in

jw
friends

i know a bunch of you have done lots of public speaking, lectures etc.

this is not my strong point.

i really am interested in your little nuggets of wisdom here; what do you do to reign in a bunch of unruly students and make 'em enthralled???

HAL9000

Hi Kudra,

Scully has given you some really great suggestions - I've given lectures to a number of audiences over the years (undergrads to senior management & government officals) and have found that "distractions" like Powerpoint or a movie etc are really useful, especially if you feel self-conscious - you can turn the lights down (not off!) and this can help you to get over the feeling of being in the spotlight with all eyes on you. Also consider getting a remote controller for the PC - I've got a Logitech R-RB5 that is designed to work with Powerpoint - as this allows you to move around the room & not be tied to the mouse (or have to run back to it). It is worth its weight in gold. Also make sure that your presentation & materials are on the PC - not a network - as I have had the experience of losing network access (and the presentation) - and have had to run "dry"

Flip charts can be useful, but you need to feel in control of your subject to use these effectively.

Yes, humour does work, but in carefully judged quantities and appropriate to the subject matter. Also consider using handouts etc.

Hope that this helps

h9k

3

"Scientist" makes baloney from water

by Nathan Natas in

i think that the net energy yield of this "fantastic" discovery will be negative: that is, more energy will be required to disassociate the water molecule than will be generated when the hydrogen and oxygen recombine to make water again.

.

what do you think?.

HAL9000

It doesn't say how much energy input was required to dissociate the water. (As an aside, a proposed route to cheap (?) hydrogen generation uses a nuclear reactor to do the same sort of thing.)

Economic? Another question altogether!

11

Spinal steroid injections.

by BrentR in

has anyone had multiple spinal steroid injections?

i am going to be having the second one in five months and i have read up on the side affects long and short term.

has anyone had longterm side affects yet?

HAL9000

You are right about the effect of pain - she wants to sleep 24 hours/day & also suffers badly from the many side effects of opiate analgesics.

I suppose that the positive side of this treatment was the extra 12 months gained before the need to seriously consider surgery was needed. I have had 1 family member go through the surgical option 20 years ago with great results (built 2 houses since in his retirement) and know of 1 work c olleague 's husband who had the operation (in Canada) to rectify 2 "crushed discs" with equally good results - he was incapable of walking prior to the operation. Not much consolation, I know, but at least it looks like the treatments are improving in effectiveness.

h9k

11

Spinal steroid injections.

by BrentR in

has anyone had multiple spinal steroid injections?

i am going to be having the second one in five months and i have read up on the side affects long and short term.

has anyone had longterm side affects yet?

HAL9000

I have not had these, but my wife has had 3 CT guided injections (Aug 2006, Jan 07 and June 07) for Spondylolisthesis with associated stenosis at L4-5 L5-S1 arising from degenerative osteoarthritis. In the course of these injections she has not had any of the more apparent problems (ie infection which is apparently 1:20000 initially but with increasing risk with each injection). She has suffered intense pain for 1-2 weeks post injection with improvements being gained 3 weeks to 1 month later. For the first two treatments she was able to resume gardening (to some extent) and to limit her analgesia to Paracetamol/Codeine 500mg/15mg.

Coming up to the most recent injection (June), the pain increased rapidly necessitating analgesia escalating to 2xParacetamol/Codeine 500mg/30mg 4 hourly then to Oxycodone (5 mg 2x daily). After the last injection, she spent 2 weeks in bed with no improvement after 1 month - now on Oxycodone or SR morphine (which is not a good place to be)

Comments at this point from the rheumatologist: injections can provide relief for many - but 3 in 12 months is too much & inviting complications, particularly with the (complete) lack of efficacy seen in the latest treatment. It is appears that the preferred "conventional treatment" ends with the injections and that these are continued until no benefit is obtained. The more radical approach (surgery) is only considered when the injections fail.

The issues of infection appear to be of paramount concern in this procedure as many doctors in general practice fail to realise what is going on. If one has any symptoms of infection urgent informed treatment is recommended.

Not sure if this helps, but reflects my wife's experiences to date. Next stop the neurosurgeon.

h9k