Fleshybirdfodder

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Posts by Fleshybirdfodder

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  160

  Laughing laughing laughing

  by darcy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  wow.. so, you know i'm an active witness, very active.

  hah.

  and i'm not laughing at y'all, but wow, i can't believe how extensive this is.

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  Fleshybirdfodder

  I don't get it.

  I've been in both very lax and very strict congregations. I have liberal witness friends but only to a point. If you confronted those liberal witnesses (liberal witness being an oxymoron) with any type of cogent anti societal argument they curl up like a snail in a salt mine. I am happy to welcome anyone to this board, as I have been welcomed. I just get a little skeptical when I feel someone is being flippant about the sincerity of people who have lost so much to this destructive org. Perhaps I'm just at the point where I don't wish for a reformation of the society. I don't mean to criticise anyone... it's just where I am at now.

  FBF
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  46

  WHAT DOES THE WORD...."SOON"....MEAN???

  by Terry in

  1. watchtower
  2. scandals

  the watchtower magazine has used the word "soon" on many an occasion to point out to its readership how near armageddon really is.. a word that can mean anything, in effect, actually means nothing.

  consequently, let's examine what "soon" actually means by definition and use.. there can only be three stages of time:.

  wouldn't you agree with that?

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  Fleshybirdfodder

  I liked your analogy Terry,

  The kid going to the zoo infers that Mom has a specific date in mind, has told the child, but because the child is impatient and doesn't understand the concept of "we will be going to the zoo on Tuesday at 9:00 am", mom says "soon", and it tides him over. Kinda like being in the car on a road trip with your parents, constantly asking them "how much longer...." when they've already told you the expected time of arrival. The point being that most dubs are like those kids, assuming that the society (mother) knows the exact date, and will stay patient as long as they keep hearing "soon".

  FBF
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  24

  Lonely newbie who is glad to be here

  by DesertRat in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i was directed to this site by a very kind ex-witness who runs a christian ministry in california.

  there are no words to express how thankful i am to be here.. here is what i hope (key word) will be an abbreviated version of my story: i am 35 years old, single, the only child of jw parents who had already spent over ten years in various watchtower capacities (two of those years as gilead missionaries in guatemala) before i was born.

  my father was diagnosed with brain cancer when i was 11 and finally succumbed, after a valiant fight, when i was 14. among the first doubts or questions i remember having was how a god of 'love' could just passively ignore the persecution (malawi!!!

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  Fleshybirdfodder

  
  Hi DesertRat,

  Great to hear from you. I lost my Elder father at 18 suddenly from a heart attack, and grappled with similar issues that have haunted me for ten plus years. I've had incredible support from my wife and her family, (my wife converted to JWism after meeting me and pioneered for a couple of years) but they don't understand the magnitude, nor the subtleties of the mental "regulating" (conditioning) that a child growing up in the org is subject to. I, like you, suffered many breakdowns, panic attacks, neurotic episodes, and suicide attempts. I'm glad you are getting help. I'm glad you are being honest about your drinking which is something I've struggled with, if only to calm the maelstrom of irrational thoughts that I hadn't been brave enough to sift through. Things will get better the more you build up a community, and posting here is a great start. One thing I've had to do is completely tear down every wall that I've built, or have had built around me through my years of association with the Witnesses. There are no easy answers, and that is something that I think we've both always understood, hence the constant searching. The hardest (and most rewarding) thing I've done in my life to this point is to take the time to rebuild the framework of my belief system. I feel like a child again in certain respects. I capitalise on the good days and honestly seek help from others on the bad days. But I always observe. I look at things in wonder, and conversely, critically. There is something new to learn everyday, and as long as I am being sincere, if there is any justice out there, I'll be ok come "judgement day". If not, and this is all there is.... well, it's never too late to be a part of it, to do something great, to inspire someone, to be a flash of light in an eternal nothingness. I had to reject solipsism. I didn't create this world, I can't stop suffering... but I can do something good every day. And that doesn't require a reward.

  Take care of yourself. Keep talking it out. There are real people out there who care.

  FBF
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  36

  Should I admit to JWs that I am disfellowshipped?

  by jwfacts in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i know about 2000 jws in sydney, and have 50 that are tax clients, so barely a week goes by without bumping into someone i know.

  it seems that few of them realise that i am disfellowshipped because they talk freely to me.

  last week i accidently sat next to an elder on the train and we engaged in small talk for over 30 minutes.. should i admit to these people that i am not a jw?.

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  Fleshybirdfodder

  I agree with not making a big deal about it. You can kind of tell the difference between an innocent question and self-righteous probing. Your taking it case by case is the best way. If they are being nosy send them running with some good ol' apostasy.

  FBF
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  26

  Well, they finally came to my door

  by Wolfgirl in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  we've lived here for nearly 2 years now, and this is the first i've seen them, and i'm home most of the time.

  they caught me as i was taking the rubbish out; i didn't even realise they were in my front garden.

  anyway, it was the first warm saturday we've had since last year, and here comes a mother with her young son.

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  Fleshybirdfodder

  Bravo! I'm really surprised you got that far. We were warned constantly not to talk to anyone that was "argumentative" (meaning anyone who actually knew what they were talking about), and to search out deserving ones. If I had have called on you I would have fled for the hills!

  FBF
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  16

  Funny Memory

  by Synergy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  when i was 19 i was married, for two years already.

  the elders in our hall went to my husband and told him to monitor what i wear more closely because it was too revealing.

  they told him that a sister in our hall came to the body of elders and complained that before she became a witness she was a lesbian and my revealing clothing made her have immoral thoughts about me and asked the elders to please have me change my wardrobe so her thoughts would stop.

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  Fleshybirdfodder

  Hey... c'mon guys. Not to be a perv, but when you are fourteen years old and handling mic (privileges) and there is a hot pioneer sister with a low cut blouse.... "excuse me brother, can you cover for me? I have to go to the washroom" (watchtower craftily concealing erection.)
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  16

  Assembly/Convention Likes and Dislikes

  by KW13 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i really hated the long sessions without breaks and how the brothers would say things, i think well aware that they'd get applause.

  "so bro's and sisters....don't you...bla bla bla?

  " **insert lots of clapping**

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  Fleshybirdfodder

  I agree with Blondie, when I was a kid all I had was pudding and danishes and chocolate milk for breakfast, then I was so bloody wired I couldn't sit still during those facinating dissertations on the book of Chronicles. I must have been one of those odd five year olds. I hated the last talk when the palms of your hands were red from clapping at all the self-congratulatory crap about how wonderful the society is. Those talks were always overtime.

  My favourite part? The amen of the last prayer. It's finally over!!!!
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  4

  Forum History Lesson: Any ungratefuls?

  by under_believer in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i see a lot of posts here from people who, even though they've had trials and difficulties because of learning the truth about the truth, are appreciative and say things like "thank god for jwd!

  it really set me free!

  i'm curious whether anybody has ever come on here, learned the truth, accepted it and recognized it for the truth, but been unhappy because it meant trial and tribulation, hypocrisy, regret, change.

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  Fleshybirdfodder

  I'm sure there are those who chose to return to the matrix, but I can't imagine anyone who is truly sincere being ungrateful. Coming to this site is a choice. I recall my first peek into the evils of non watchtower sanctioned/approved websites (meaning ALL of them other than watchtower.org and jwmedia) and the terror I felt. It was totally in my power to click back to my watchtower.org homepage instantly and run to the elders for spiritual healing, but I chose to stay and learn the truth about the truth.
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  4

  You Might Be a JW If ....

  by Deleted in

  1. jw
  2. friends

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  Fleshybirdfodder

  LOL.... The smurf and Jewlery thing got me. Thanks!

  FBF
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  20

  Overheard at the June 4 2006 Watchtower Study

  by under_believer in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so, even back when i was a true believer i noticed this... .

  this watchtower study today, i just got back from, was all about how great the elders are.

  what always wigs me out about these things (because they trot this stuff out in a wt study every year or two) is how the elder conducting the study is up there talking about and praising the elders in the third person, saying how great they are, when he is an elder.

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  Fleshybirdfodder

  I think most elders that really try to do everything that is expected of them (especially if they have a family) eventually suffer from burnout, depression etc... and then suffer criticism. I don't discount that many are sincere. But those that really are I've found usually have to step down eventually because of the crap they have to deal with, especially things that bother their conscience... ie. being forced to ask ridiculously intimate questions at judicial meetings, or giving parts like the one that underbeliever mentioned. I really don't think anyone can be sincere and stay a dyed in the wool "company man."
  

  Just my thoughts.

  FBF