Posts by Quandry

23

When John 13:35 pricks a Dub's conscience...

by Inquisitor in

(1)how many of you out there, back when you were still a jw, heard the bros say "yeah the cong is a little cold cos of <insert scapegoat here>, but there is genuine love among the country congs/ the foreign lang congs etc??

(2)how did you respond to that remark?

did you accept that concession or did the absence of unpretentious love in your cong continue to bother you?

Quandry

The people in the last congregation that I went to had lots of money. They didn't need to be loving. They had it all-Lexus, Hummers, Jags, fine homes. I remember having to work full time, with a child and husband who was an elder. With five meetings, field service, studying for the meetings, keeping the house elder's wife clean, etc., I felt stressed all the time. At the same time, I couldn't quit my job and pioneer, because hubbie and I had no higher education and worked at low income jobs. So, I felt guilty when we went to conventions and heard the talks about pioneering and "putting Jehovah to the test," etc. I was beginning to get so stressed out at the end. I always felt when I went to the Hall like many were looking for flaws-Oh, you missed a meeting, or you didn't have some wonderful sermon at the door with memorized points from the magazine. Sometimes, I'd get to the service meeting group and realize I hadn't even looked at the Kingdom Ministry or the "suggested presentation." Horrors!!!! The guilt!!!!! I have read the comments here about the J.W. shuffle in service--ha ha--that was me. I just wanted to walk slower and slower and constantly looked at my watch.

When my husband became ill, he could not get to all the meetings. This upset him, as we had always been regular. As I said, he was and elder for many years. Some of the elders on his body never called him. The P.O. would ask me how he was one minute before the meeting was to start. How can you answer in that length of time? I just said "Fine," and went to my seat. Loving? Nooooooooo.

32

Hello...

by gymbob in

jw
friends

i've been reading you all for a couple years now, it's about time i post.. the first thing i would like to say is....thank you.

without this forum, who knows what my life would be like.

you all have been such a big help to me since i left the witnesses about 4 years ago, and i'm very grateful to you all!.

Quandry

When you wrote to the Society about the United Nations N.G.O. thing---what was the surprising answer you received? It is my understanding that anytime a letter is written to the Society they send a copy of it to the P.O. of your Congregation. That is what may have started their "inquiring minds."

32

Hello...

by gymbob in

jw
friends

i've been reading you all for a couple years now, it's about time i post.. the first thing i would like to say is....thank you.

without this forum, who knows what my life would be like.

you all have been such a big help to me since i left the witnesses about 4 years ago, and i'm very grateful to you all!.

Quandry

Welcome. I'm new too. Feel the same way you do.

16

To all the mothers on JWD...

by misspeaches in

jw
friends

anyone who has been raised as a jw will most likely be able to relate somewhat to this.. my mother was bringing three children to the meeting and had an unbelieving mate.

she was incredibly strict.

i was an extremely unhappy child and teenager.

Quandry

Don't wait until you think you can be the perfect mom before having a baby. You will never do everything right. We are, after all, an imperfect lot. One female commedian once said when you have a baby, first comes the baby, then the afterbirth, then the guilt. We are always guilting ourselves-could we have done more, given more, not done this, will the baby like its name, etc. Just go for it. Have patience. A wonderful friend once told me to slow down and enjoy my child. It does not have to walk before others, or get potty trained ahead of others. No normal adults are still crawling or wearing diapers. Just determine to enjoy a pregnancy and a baby!

61

Rate Your Happiness On A Scale Of 1 To 10

by minimus in

jw
friends

i'd give myself a 7.

Quandry

Right after the horrid way the elders treated my child and then disfellowshipped her, calling her a liar because she would not admit to fornication even though they said there was no accusation of such, a -5. I was so devastated I wanted to die. Never knew elders were anything other than loving-that's what the W.T. magazines said and I believed it. Then when I found out about the pediphiles, cover ups, U.N., and other things, a -10.

When I found this forum I began to feel better. Realized I was not alone. Now, maybe a 2. Hoping to get better.

40

I woke up to my JW mom reading JW literature to my stomach

by unbeliever in

jw
friends

i know that sounds weird.

i am pregnant with my first child and my mom is visiting me for a few days.

i was laying on the couch taking a nap and she was sitting down and reading to my stomach.

Quandry

Perhaps this will not be received well by others. I feel so strongly that it is unloving and unkind of the W.T.S. to suggest that family shun their children because they do not believe the same way. This having been said, the same goes for a child to tell her mother that she wants nothing to do with her for any reason. This does not show honor to her. I think you can lighten up. Baby does not understand words, just tone of voice. If you reason with your child as it is growing, and give it many choices, you have nothing to fear from he/she hearing the point of view of grandma or anyone else. You obviously have made up your mind despite your mom's views, so I'm sure your child can do the same. Rather than imitate the Society's lack of love, why not reason with the family to show support for all, especially your sister, who must need some attention. Perhaps your reasonableness could influence your mom.

37

What is the most objectionable thing you have heard off the platform?

by restrangled in

jw
friends

i know many have quoted ridiculous statements from the assemblies etc., i just wonder what irked you most off of the platform in your own kh.. the one that sticks out in my mind was when we had a guest speaker on a sunday for the public talk.

i don't remember the theme but his main point was the starving people in africa did not need food.

he stated they needed spiritual food and would opt for that over a meal because they realize they could eat in the new order and there was no need to send any donations directly.

Quandry

About twenty three or so years ago a number of teenagers were disfellowshipped and some publicly reproved. After the meeting, apparently someone hugged one who was publicly reproved. At the next service meeting, an elder gave a talk and stated that this had happened. He then said this was wrong and, making a face, said, "Would you put dirty underwear on your head?"

I remember asking my husband since we are not supposed to know why a person was disfellowshipped or reproved, why would we automatically think the person had done something perhaps "dirty" in some way? I just thought that this was a disgusting remark to make to the entire congregation and really embarrasing to the one who had hugged a person, because I'm sure she was just trying to help the person to feel that she loved them.

36

What are the most insincere things JWs say?

by Spectrum in

it really makes me angry when they say i love jehovah.

they don't know what they are talking about.

if they read with an open mind the carry-ons of this cruel mesopotanian god they would feel ridiculous and embarrassed for putting this god before their family, their children.

Quandry

If you have a headache and you go to the meeting anyway, it will go away and you will feel refreshed.

18

Finally going to college...

by Justice-One in

even though "the end" is so close you could reach out and "touch it with your tonge" i'm going to get my degree.

i have been inactive for more than ten years, but because of the wife i still go to church (i just can't call it "the hall" anymore, at least in my heart) on sundays from time to time.

and guess what, when i mentioned that i was going to go to college, i was asked why i would want to do that?

Quandry

ex-perfect daughter makes a good point about home school. Lots of times that meant virtually no school. I remember kids being out in service counting that as part of their education. I wondered what real math or history or English skill they could develop by sitting in a car or going to a house where no one was at home during the day. Many of these children had poor social skills from the isolation from peers and had poor English skills. How can a good J.W. parent who has had no higher education teach chemistry or biology or algebra to their children? They would say "Oh, they just go through a book on their own." This means a child with no experience was his own teacher. I remember when my child was young many in my area home-schooled and tended to look down on those who did not as not being theocratic somehow. Well, they always had to make you feel guilty for something.

59

Operation Tomorrow

by Sunspot in

jw
friends

just to let you all know why i won't be able to post for some time...i am finally getting in to the hospital for a much-needed operation that kept being postponed.

i have been back and forth to three different hospitals and various doctor's offices for tests, x-rays, consults and then more pre-op tests and x-rays.

(i have never heard of "nuclear testing before now...i wondered if they were going to send me to nasa!

Quandry

Another newbie posting here-know I don't know you but wish you well. I have had a couple of operations myself. Just don't try to do too much too soon. Allow yourself to relax. Read some good books, catch up on letter writing or watching movies. Look outside at the beautiful sky. Hope you are better soon.